Recovery Need help getting truly sober

[Mr. Krinkle]

drink coffee instead

 

[FindingSobriety]

drink coffee instead

That would be ideal. Just seems a long way off.

 

[Jnowhere]

Hey all! I could use some help/advise!

I’ve been meth-free for over 2 years now, stimulant free for over 1 (year) and I’m now approaching my second week being alcohol-free (Already have lost 5lbs and feel 10x better!)

The problem arises with the fact that as soon as I wake up I take an upper (Wellbutrin) and start in on the Caffeine. Then, come about 6pm I always use some other substance to come down. That substance used to be alcohol, but the alcohol is destroying my body anymore so I switched to edibles.

So I’m still addicted to uppers/downers, in a sense, and I’m not truly “sober”.

The thought of true sobriety is something I have difficulty imagining, as for nearly all of my life I have been on this pattern of waking up and taking an upper, and relaxing in the evening with a downer.

For those who have found true sobriety how did you do it? I feel like the only way I’m going to find true sobriety is if I take six months off of everything (work/school/etc). But that just doesn’t seem feasible.

Thoughts?

You didn't indicate how much alcohol you use, whether or not you feel addicted mentally and/or physically. I let alcohol destroy my life as it was getting started, addicted soon after college and no matter how many minor run ins with law I had( I sort of lost count, because my mom would always send me money to pay fines.) It is great you stopped the meth, and other stimulants. I actually am scared of coffee, I briefly quit drinking and started drink many pots a day; then I ran out and couldn't get to the store. That headache still haunts me and I have had bad migraines. But it is good you stopped drinking, Even being diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver didn't stop me. Two things, an unrelated embarrassing story, but mostly a judge telling me no drinking, then probation and random drug tests. Which was funny because I had and pancreatitus it got me a morphine script, an oxycodone script and an Ativan(lorazepam) script.
I gave up the morphine on my own after much of the pain subsided. I am still on Oxycodone and now Valium in stead of Ativan. But they only help me function. I finally really truly stopped drinking when I became allergic to alcohol.( I became a hopeless alcoholic in the prime of my life. Not being able to get it down and stay down and itching all over uncontrollably has kept me sober and alive). Years of benzo use and a opiods for pain. Has made it so they do nothing recreational to me. The Oxy(prescribed and not a lot, state law) no feelings of anything but pain relief. And the benzos I am stuck on and no feelings, just no withdrawal and possible death.
It is great you stopped meth, and If I had the time I could tell you all about the true misery of being an alcoholic. You said it yourself you feel better. Becoming addicted to alcohol is no joke, I went Cold Turkey countless times, not by choice, living nightmare at times, and was hopelessly addicted.( I repented to The Lord for my 20+ years with a few breaks, biggest one court ordered, of drunkenness and asked him for help. I became allergic very shortly after.) It is very smart of you to quit before it really takes a hold of you. The fact that you feel better is telling. Alcohol can be as nasty and deadly addiction as many hard drugs. Start drinking in the morning and all day and you might have the misfortune to find out. I was supposed to be dead 7 years ago but I am still alive but need painkillers and benzos too function. I turned down being put on the organ donor list. The doctors predictions were wrong.
Even my Bible thumping grandmother had to have her morning coffee.
As far as the Marijuana edibles, is it too sleep or a psychological thing. If it is medicinal, aka insomnia then, the question is if it acting as a medicine, then is there a down side? Does the Wellbutrin really help? If so, then fine.
Do the edibles help you, or is more of filling a gap?
I only use prescription drugs and I am not one to abuse them, they help me function. I know it sounds like an excuse, but I never get any high or even a buzz. I consider my self sober, even if I am on more than one scheduled drug. They ain't for fun. There is no recreational value to me.
As far as the coffee goes, we'll unless it is a ridiculous amount, so what. If you truly need the wellbutrin, fine. As far far as the Marijuana edibles, if you feel this an issue, maybe try using less and less till you quit, if you feel like this is a possible bad issue for you.
I can understand your desire to be free of all and any substances. First put as much time and distance from alcohol if you think it is a problem. If you caffeine intake is hugh, maybe cutting back would be good. The Wellbutrion, do you rneed it? If so keep using it; if not talk to your doctor about getting off. The Marijuana edibles could have some long term use effects, but you need to decide.
Personally I really regret drinking, and the pills are a now a necessity. I truly wish I could live substance free. That reminds me I gotta quit smoking. I started less than a year ago. I have bigger issues though, being a later in life smoker. You seem young, and if getting sober is want you want, then trust me you'll be happier when your my age. Good luck.

 

[jasperkent]

I didn't read all the posts, so forgive me if what I say here has already been addressed--

1. I'd strongly discourage you from quitting Wellbutrin cold turkey, especially if you've been taking large doses. I made that mistake once and I was depressed, severely fatigued, and miserable for several weeks as a result. Talk to your doctor about weaning off of it.

2. Please don't beat yourself up for your drinking slip-- it's counterproductive. Just keep trying, one day at a time. I'm an alcoholic who has struggled to get sober for 40 years. I'd go 6 months, 1 year, 2 years, 3 years (not necessarily in that order), but I didn't get sober and comfortable with it until I was in my 60s. My best friend "got it" on his first try and he's been sober 35 years. Everybody's different.

Tip: When you get a craving for alcohol, eat (or drink) something sweet. The sugar tricks your body and usually the urge will disappear. I like chocolate, but anything sweet that you don't associate with alcohol will work.

Best wishes on your journey.

 

[FindingSobriety]

You didn't indicate how much alcohol you use, whether or not you feel addicted mentally and/or physically.

I honestly don’t use too much, thankfully. Drinking is more of a mental / routine addiction. I’m just so used to unwinding at the end of the day with a drink. I’ve never had withdrawal symptoms, either, so definitely not physical.

I let alcohol destroy my life as it was getting started, addicted soon after college and no matter how many minor run ins with law I had( I sort of lost count, because my mom would always send me money to pay fines.) It is great you stopped the meth, and other stimulants. I actually am scared of coffee, I briefly quit drinking and started drink many pots a day; then I ran out and couldn't get to the store. That headache still haunts me and I have had bad migraines. But it is good you stopped drinking, Even being diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver didn't stop me. Two things, an unrelated embarrassing story, but mostly a judge telling me no drinking, then probation and random drug tests.

Sucks to hear about your experience with alcohol, I have several friends who are in the same boat, alcohol is just nasty, and there’s ZERO health benefits from drinking.

It is great you stopped meth, and If I had the time I could tell you all about the true misery of being an alcoholic. You said it yourself you feel better. Becoming addicted to alcohol is no joke, I went Cold Turkey countless times, not by choice, living nightmare at times, and was hopelessly addicted.( I repented to The Lord for my 20+ years with a few breaks, biggest one court ordered, of drunkenness and asked him for help. I became allergic very shortly after.)

I can imagine things got rough, however it sounds like you got help and found a higher power. More power to you

It is very smart of you to quit before it really takes a hold of you. The fact that you feel better is telling. Alcohol can be as nasty and deadly addiction as many hard drugs. Start drinking in the morning and all day and you might have the misfortune to find out.

With the exception of a few months spent in jail/mental health facilities, I haven’t gone a week without a drink in nearly 24 years. When I first started drinking I was day drinking quite a bit, then quickly called that off and instated a hard-and-fast rule of not drinking before 5pm, which outside of some multi-day stimulant binges I’ve been able to maintain for decades.

Thankfully, I never could comprehend waking up and drinking, it’s just not my thing (thankfully).

As far as the Marijuana edibles, is it too sleep or psychological thing. If it is medicinal, aka insomnia then, the question is if it acting as a medicine, then is there a down side?

It definitely helps me calm down, and it also allows me to gain new perspectives on life that I otherwise wouldn’t. I honestly think marijuana is an extremely useful drug, with numerous (mental) health benefits. That said, it tends to make me stupid and forgetful (of which I’m absolutely neither) so I had to stop using it, at least while I’m in school.

Does the Wellbutrin really help? If so, then fine.

It helps, but nothing like Adderall etc. Pure ephedrine works much better for my ADHD, however, when I take too much, I tend to get really, really really nasty heart problems.

Do the edibles help you, or is more of filling a gap?

They do help, but they’re also filling a gap. I can honestly say I enjoyed them more than alcohol. That said, I always do stupid shit on marijuana (forget things, misplace things etc) and that’s wayyyy out of the norm for me.

I only use prescription drugs and I am not one to abuse them, they help me function. I know it sounds like an excuse, but I never get any high or even a buzz. I consider my self sober, even if I am on more than one scheduled drug. They ain't for fun. There is no recreational value to me.

Glad to hear it! Congrats!

As far as the coffee goes, we'll unless it is a ridiculous amount, so what.

Anymore I just have a couple cups a day along with a couple Diet Cokes

you truly need the wellbutrin, fine.

I don’t truly need it, however I truly need something in the morning to help me get up/stay focused. I just wish ephedrine wasn’t so cardio toxic, because I’d much rather use it (wellbutrin was just giving me some nasty, nasty nasty side effects - severe dehydration, nasty tremors etc)

As far far as the Marijuana edibles, if you feel this an issue, maybe try using less and less till you quit, if you feel like this is a possible bad issue for you.

I did just that last week

I can understand your desire to be free of all and any substances. First put as much time and distance from alcohol if you think it is a problem.

In the middle of doing just that. While I still drink, I rarely, if ever, get absolutely hammered drunk anymore.

gotta quit smoking. I started less than a year ago.

Definitely quit smoking! I’m so glad I quit back in my teens!

 

[FindingSobriety]

1. I'd strongly discourage you from quitting Wellbutrin cold turkey, especially if you've been taking large doses. I made that mistake once and I was depressed, severely fatigued, and miserable for several weeks as a result. Talk to your doctor about weaning off of it.

I was able to titrate (wean) myself off of it. That combined with going on at ephedrine and I have yet to notice the severe fatigue I was expecting. I would like to stay off of it because it was giving me nasty side effects (severe dehydration, severe tremors) but anytime I try and take ephedrine every day for a prolonged period of time it starts giving me heart issues and I have to stop it (and go back on Wellbutrin)

2. Please don't beat yourself up for your drinking slip-- it's counterproductive. Just keep trying, one day at a time. I'm an alcoholic who has struggled to get sober for 40 years. I'd go 6 months, 1 year, 2 years, 3 years (not necessarily in that order), but I didn't get sober and comfortable with it until I was in my 60s. My best friend "got it" on his first try and he's been sober 35 years. Everybody's different.

Thanks for saying that, I guess I should give myself a little credit. I mean, I’ve quit most everything else, and nearly quit drinking, I guess I can’t expect to just quit everything as easily as I quit meth/stimulants.

Tip: When you get a craving for alcohol, eat (or drink) something sweet. The sugar tricks your body and usually the urge will disappear. I like chocolate, but anything sweet that you don't associate with alcohol will work.

That’s the problem, I hate sweets! I’ve actually found all these new NA beers to be extremely helpful in regards to feeding my (alcohol) cravings. I have another thread going over in DC in regards to NA beer - It’s been a lifesaver for me when it comes to controlling/limiting my alcohol consumption.

Best wishes on your journey.

Appreciate it!

 

[jasperkent]

I hate sweets!

When I'm drinking every day, I hate them too!

But when I'm off alcohol, I like sweets. Sometimes I even crave them. If you think about it, alcohol is nothing more than yeast excrement. And what do yeast eat? Sugar.
I guess my body still craves those empty calories. These days my "after work drink" is a smoothie, a milkshake, or some chocolate milk. Very satisfying.

It would be a slippery slope for me to drink NA beer. I'm not gonna risk it.

But do whatever works for you, by all means.

 

[SunriseChampion]

If you think about it, alcohol is nothing more than yeast excrement.

You know, if I keep this in mind every time I'm about to indulge, I may just quit drinking as well. Yeast excrement indeed!

 

[Northerngyal]

I should also mention that I fell off the wagon last night. I had an insanely stressful week, and then yesterday all kinds of projects were do, and the next day (today) marked the start of Spring break, so I bought a 6 pack in the way home, ugh.

Don’t be so hard on yourself. Kicking meth in itself is a huge accomplishment! If I ever mess up I always tell myself that “tomorrow’s a new day” and try to be better tomorrow. You’re only human, learn from your mistakes. Kudos to you on your sober journey. You’ll figure everything out in time. ^_^

 

[Northerngyal]

Ran out of my Wellbutrin temporarily, at least until my next Dr’s appointment in a few weeks. Nasty side effects are all gone (tremors, jitteriness) but now I’m back to taking ephedrine every morning as an upper.

I try to go off everything (stimulants) and I can barely get out of bed . I mean I’m not depressed. I just lay in bed all day without some sort of stimulant. And I hate it.

I’ve literally had used / abused stimulants non-stop for the entirety of my adult life (26 years). Am I sort of fucked now? Like will I ever to be able to wake up and complete an honest hard day of work without popping some sort of pill?

Ah, yesss.. the “Id just rather lay here all day and sleep if I can’t get any pills”or if I had pills but they were barely enough to give me the high I wanted. I did that for a long time too! Since being sober it took atleast a good year to rewire my brain. It does get better tho I promise!! I don’t think like that anymore now that I’m sober. I’m sure your receptors are all out of whack rn and still craving your drug of choice. Just keep pushing through that feeling though as hard as it is.