So I'm trying to get clean from opiates, finally and for for good, after about fours years of fairly steady usage. My story begins likes most: chipping with percs, then on to 30 mg blues which I'd divide into quarters, then halves – always just swallowing the pills btw. Fast forward to last month when I was up to between 150 - 200 mgs of oxy (blues) a day.
Over the years, while waiting for pills, I'd use kratom 2 or 3 times a day, then I discovered suboxone, and would use that, maybe 4 mg or 2 mg, while waiting for the blues, but never for more than a week.
On March 31, I decided enough is enough. I ran out of blues, almost out of money, and decided now is the time. On March 31, I swallowed my last pills, procured 2 and a half 8 mg sub strips and began my detox journey. On April one I took 4 mg sub with the mindset to start tapering immediately.
Was using sub every other day and also a fair amount of alcohol and some MJ. A week after my last pill, I was a little high and drunk... I looked at my two kids (4 and 2), and just started sobbing. I then came clean to my wife that I need help.
While tapering down to .5 of sub I was hating the way it made me feel. I was in acute WDs every day and miserable. I decided subs are evil, and can't fathom being on them for YEARS like some people are...so I googled around and stumbled upon a site with someone suggesting using short-acting opiates to "rip the sub off the receptors" and then detox from the blues.
It made sense at the time, and I only bought 15 from the dealer, who said goodbye to forever. I texted my other source for pills as well and told him I'm out of the game. But after 3 days of using the blues and no sub, I'm regretting it. Just so confused.
Here's where I'm at: Today is Friday, I last took 1 mg sub on Sunday. I started on low dosing of blues on Tuesday, but of course ramped up to 90 mgs yesterday. Today I woke up feeling WDs, so have been on blue pieces spaced out throughout the day so far.
I have a total of 2 mg sub broken up into about .5 pieces, eyeballed. I have 4 blues left. I have a fair amount of kratom. I have MJ and booze, of course, and access to anything OTC.
I want to be free of this opiate addiction nightmare and vicsious cycle. How would you advise me going forward based on the above? Any help/advice is greatly appreciated. I'm a 41 year old father of two, btw, and I need to be present and well enough to care for them, and I need to be functional for work. I've decided I am NOT going to buy any more pills or sub strips to get through this. Or Ever again for that matter.
Thank you for reading and thank you in advance for any advice you may have!
Over the years, while waiting for pills, I'd use kratom 2 or 3 times a day, then I discovered suboxone, and would use that, maybe 4 mg or 2 mg, while waiting for the blues, but never for more than a week.
On March 31, I decided enough is enough. I ran out of blues, almost out of money, and decided now is the time. On March 31, I swallowed my last pills, procured 2 and a half 8 mg sub strips and began my detox journey. On April one I took 4 mg sub with the mindset to start tapering immediately.
Was using sub every other day and also a fair amount of alcohol and some MJ. A week after my last pill, I was a little high and drunk... I looked at my two kids (4 and 2), and just started sobbing. I then came clean to my wife that I need help.
While tapering down to .5 of sub I was hating the way it made me feel. I was in acute WDs every day and miserable. I decided subs are evil, and can't fathom being on them for YEARS like some people are...so I googled around and stumbled upon a site with someone suggesting using short-acting opiates to "rip the sub off the receptors" and then detox from the blues.
It made sense at the time, and I only bought 15 from the dealer, who said goodbye to forever. I texted my other source for pills as well and told him I'm out of the game. But after 3 days of using the blues and no sub, I'm regretting it. Just so confused.
Here's where I'm at: Today is Friday, I last took 1 mg sub on Sunday. I started on low dosing of blues on Tuesday, but of course ramped up to 90 mgs yesterday. Today I woke up feeling WDs, so have been on blue pieces spaced out throughout the day so far.
I have a total of 2 mg sub broken up into about .5 pieces, eyeballed. I have 4 blues left. I have a fair amount of kratom. I have MJ and booze, of course, and access to anything OTC.
I want to be free of this opiate addiction nightmare and vicsious cycle. How would you advise me going forward based on the above? Any help/advice is greatly appreciated. I'm a 41 year old father of two, btw, and I need to be present and well enough to care for them, and I need to be functional for work. I've decided I am NOT going to buy any more pills or sub strips to get through this. Or Ever again for that matter.
Thank you for reading and thank you in advance for any advice you may have!