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My girlfriend hasn't wanted any sexual contact in over a year, what am I doing wrong?

C

Colleen.pringle

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Joined
Jul 8, 2013
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Me and my girlfriend have been together nearly 3 years and even tho this is my first lesbian relationship our sex life was exciting and we couldn't get enough of each other but recently especially over this past year she just seems to have totally lost all interest in me and our relationship. I mean we live together and have recently moved home together and from the outside our relationship seems great to others but I don't no whether I'm being unreasonable here but we haven't had any sexual contact in a year now and it's getting me down, I love my girlfriend with all my heart and I have no doubt she loves me this much too but I've tried everything I can to relight our sex life and she seems to not have any interest. What can I do??

I've tried talking to her about this hundreds of times over the past year and she just gets mad at me for bringing it up and tells me to drop it because she doesn't like talking about it or just blags me by saying we will talk tomorrow. she spends all day telling me how much she loves me and giving me little cuddles and kisses here and there but when it comes to the intimate side of things she wont even talk about it and it ends in an argument. I'm at my whithers end here and don't no whether this is a major cause for us to break up or what (which I really don't want)

Please can somebody help me I just wish there was a quick fix to this because its really breaking my heart
 
You have to be strait forward with her. In my opinion that sounds like a pretty unhealthy relationship. You need to ask her strait up - Whats going on? Bring up how you two used to be sexual active, and how over the last year you've noticed her not wanting any. It seems like there must be some underlying reason to her aversion for sex, and you have to get that reason out of her. For all we know she could've been raped, her hormones could be out of wack causing a low libido, or something else could be going on. There's really no way for us to know, but you gotta figure out a way to get her to talk about what's wrong. Tell her how you feel. Tell her how much you love and care for her, but that the lack of a sex life is really bringing you down and making you feel unwanted. Ask for a specific reason as to why she isn't interested anymore, and if she doesn't know then maybe suggest that she gets a blood test to check her hormone levels? I know an imbalance of certain chemicals can kill someones libido.

I feel for you - I was in an LTR with a girl, and for drug related reasons we would go months at a time without having sex. I was on opiates and had NO libido whatsoever, we would fight about it a lot and it seemed like every time I wanted sex, she didn't - and everytime she wanted sex, I didn't. So if you want to save the relationship you gotta figure out whats going on, because somethings definitely wrong here. Have you considered maybe shes on drugs? you're on this website, which means at one point drugs must have been in the picture, if not currently, right? Substances can have a huge effect on someones sex drive.

Good luck. I sincerely hope things turn out alright - If not, you may need to move on. :/
 
1. unless you are asexual or elderly or whatever , you have to leave her or get sex elsewhere
2. sounds like she is manipulating you.
 
She may have contracted an std by cheating and not want to give it to you. I knew someone who done cheated and then wouldn't have sex with their partner and the partner tried to make em and they came out with that they'd cheated and then found out the other person they'd slept with had HIV. Anyhow something's up with her vagina as even if she didn't want to fuck most women still do it just to make their partners happy and so to not do that for a whole year well there is something going on down their. Maybe whenever she opens legs there is river of blood or river of yeast.
 
^^ That wasn't my first guess, but it makes sense too. I was going to guess that maybe you could orgasm and she couldn't. Either in Kane's scenario or mine, it sounds like an issue of her being ashamed with her own sexual function. You will have to promise to not get mad at her, no matter what, for her to come clean. Tread with caution.
 
Is she on any meds? Or could she be cheating?
 
I was in a relationship for three years once. The last 18 months were devoid of intimacy. Despite my many attempts to broach the subject I could never find out why. After 18 months of it, I left.

Bottom line: its probably not you, and it seems like there isn't a lot you can do. Good luck.
 
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