GirlWhoWaited
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Nov 30, 2014
- Messages
- 15
Fiance relapsed on meth- cheated on me with a transvestite (No Joke.)
Long story made short, my fiance and I would use meth together once every few months or so and have crazy amazing kinky animalistic sex. He was always the one who would get it, dose it, and put an end to the use (longest time was 5 days.) About two months ago, after one particularly wild weekend, he said that we absolutely needed to stop and that we weren't going to use any more. I readily agreed- I'm in treatment for an eating disorder and the meth use was horrible for trying to follow any kind of a meal plan (can't eat during the high, can't stop eating during the comedown.) We went through the comedown and I was afraid it was going to end us- constant arguments, yelling, short tempers, tears, all the anger and bitterness and crankiness- and we had come out the other side stronger, I thought, as a couple. My libido was coming back, and I feel human again today.
He, on the other hand, has had a much harder time quitting. He hadn't used (I don't think) in the same amount of time as me, but I know for a fact he tried to hide quite a bit of usage from me prior to us quitting. I think he may have even been a daily user. Anyways, we were both done, and then he had a shoulder injury that was making him miserable. He can't take opiates, so the strongest thing he had was advil, and he wasn't able to sleep at all due to the pain. He had also just started a new job that he loved, but that was really stressful for him. Last night he finally told me that he couldn't wait until his medical insurance kicked in and that he was going to buy some muscle relaxers off the street. I was a little confused because I couldn't imagine where he'd find those- but I trusted him. Well, he didn't buy muscle relaxers, he bought meth again.
And-in less than 24 hours, he has changed back into a full-blown addict, WAY worse than he ever was. He got no sleep last night and lied to me about it. He went to work today just to leave a few hours later, when he had a ton of important meetings and people were calling me on my cell phone to find out where the hell he was. And worst of all, it's now 4:00 in the morning and he hasn't come home. I logged into his bank account and email, and see a HUGE charge at an Adult Video Store, as well as a ton of responses to the male 4 male and transvestite 4 male casual encounters section. His phone is off- I have no way to reach him- and he is out sleeping with men while I'm sitting at home worried sick. I don't think I can be with him- similar things have happened in the past, but never this much this quickly, and I absolutely can't do this. I forwarded copies of the emails to myself, printed out copies of the charges, and even found a number in his phone records that he'd been texting right up until his phone shut off that linked to a transvestite's blog as well as escort postings. I cannot let himself explain his way out of this one- if I don't walk away, I'm afraid I'll get sucked in too. But I'm still so scared for him, and worried and angry and just so very very sad. I can't believe he'd throw away the last 3 1/2 years for one night of crazy stim sex with other men.
Thanks, Bluelight. I love you guys. Advice appreciated- how can I stay strong here and walk away?
Long story made short, my fiance and I would use meth together once every few months or so and have crazy amazing kinky animalistic sex. He was always the one who would get it, dose it, and put an end to the use (longest time was 5 days.) About two months ago, after one particularly wild weekend, he said that we absolutely needed to stop and that we weren't going to use any more. I readily agreed- I'm in treatment for an eating disorder and the meth use was horrible for trying to follow any kind of a meal plan (can't eat during the high, can't stop eating during the comedown.) We went through the comedown and I was afraid it was going to end us- constant arguments, yelling, short tempers, tears, all the anger and bitterness and crankiness- and we had come out the other side stronger, I thought, as a couple. My libido was coming back, and I feel human again today.
He, on the other hand, has had a much harder time quitting. He hadn't used (I don't think) in the same amount of time as me, but I know for a fact he tried to hide quite a bit of usage from me prior to us quitting. I think he may have even been a daily user. Anyways, we were both done, and then he had a shoulder injury that was making him miserable. He can't take opiates, so the strongest thing he had was advil, and he wasn't able to sleep at all due to the pain. He had also just started a new job that he loved, but that was really stressful for him. Last night he finally told me that he couldn't wait until his medical insurance kicked in and that he was going to buy some muscle relaxers off the street. I was a little confused because I couldn't imagine where he'd find those- but I trusted him. Well, he didn't buy muscle relaxers, he bought meth again.
And-in less than 24 hours, he has changed back into a full-blown addict, WAY worse than he ever was. He got no sleep last night and lied to me about it. He went to work today just to leave a few hours later, when he had a ton of important meetings and people were calling me on my cell phone to find out where the hell he was. And worst of all, it's now 4:00 in the morning and he hasn't come home. I logged into his bank account and email, and see a HUGE charge at an Adult Video Store, as well as a ton of responses to the male 4 male and transvestite 4 male casual encounters section. His phone is off- I have no way to reach him- and he is out sleeping with men while I'm sitting at home worried sick. I don't think I can be with him- similar things have happened in the past, but never this much this quickly, and I absolutely can't do this. I forwarded copies of the emails to myself, printed out copies of the charges, and even found a number in his phone records that he'd been texting right up until his phone shut off that linked to a transvestite's blog as well as escort postings. I cannot let himself explain his way out of this one- if I don't walk away, I'm afraid I'll get sucked in too. But I'm still so scared for him, and worried and angry and just so very very sad. I can't believe he'd throw away the last 3 1/2 years for one night of crazy stim sex with other men.
Thanks, Bluelight. I love you guys. Advice appreciated- how can I stay strong here and walk away?
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