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my chaotic-evil sister is dying

tantric

tantric

Bluelighter
Joined
Jan 2, 2004
Messages
867
i'm 44, my sister is 9yrs older and has a daughter, 23 with brain cancer (long remission). our father, with whom we dwell, is 83. my sister is the charming, smiling, sweet kind of evil. she's a junkie, though not on the needle, forever chasing the neverending buzz. she's a compulsive liar and innate and hopelessly manipulative. since the day i was brought home from the hospital, she has meant me ill, but always coated with sticky sweet love. my first two names are 'jason joe'. i used 'joe' in school, but i've been 'jason' to the rest of the world for 20yrs. my sister introduces me to others as 'my little brother joey'. for a week, every time she called me 'joey' i called her 'poisonous cunt'.

anyway, she's dying. IMHO classic hygiene hypothosis victim. she spent her live obsessed with cleanliness, eating antibiotics by the handful, and corticosteroids. her immune system, evolved to be in a state of unending warfare with a legion of parasites, lacking anything else to do, is grinding her like a woodchipper. holes keep appearing in her intestines, doctors cutting out bits. now, as of six hours from now, my dad has put me on deathwatch.

my life philosophy is 'do the right thing because it's the right thing to do'. i was thinking about ways i could ease her passing. and thinking again. i can't help it. when she dies, i'm going to cosign her soul to hell and damn her three times. she wouldn't feel right anyplace else. and it's the right thing to do.

ps - my dad treats my sister like gold, me like dogshit he stepped in. he is also a clean freak - but this is because his soul has shit on it ajax won't take off. my sister is 'daddy's little girl' because he fucked her when she was a teenager. my boyfriend actually figured this out, from knowing them, without me telling him. he's going to hover over her and wait on her. i've been in the hospital four times in the last 20 years and he never so much as called me. makes me want to take him out and beat him with a hose.
 
tantric said:
i'm 44, my sister is 9yrs older and has a daughter, 23 with brain cancer (long remission). our father, with whom we dwell, is 83. my sister is the charming, smiling, sweet kind of evil. she's a junkie, though not on the needle, forever chasing the neverending buzz. she's a compulsive liar and innate and hopelessly manipulative. since the day i was brought home from the hospital, she has meant me ill, but always coated with sticky sweet love. my first two names are 'jason joe'. i used 'joe' in school, but i've been 'jason' to the rest of the world for 20yrs. my sister introduces me to others as 'my little brother joey'. for a week, every time she called me 'joey' i called her 'poisonous cunt'.

anyway, she's dying. IMHO classic hygiene hypothosis victim. she spent her live obsessed with cleanliness, eating antibiotics by the handful, and corticosteroids. her immune system, evolved to be in a state of unending warfare with a legion of parasites, lacking anything else to do, is grinding her like a woodchipper. holes keep appearing in her intestines, doctors cutting out bits. now, as of six hours from now, my dad has put me on deathwatch.

my life philosophy is 'do the right thing because it's the right thing to do'. i was thinking about ways i could ease her passing. and thinking again. i can't help it. when she dies, i'm going to cosign her soul to hell and damn her three times. she wouldn't feel right anyplace else. and it's the right thing to do.

ps - my dad treats my sister like gold, me like dogshit he stepped in. he is also a clean freak - but this is because his soul has shit on it ajax won't take off. my sister is 'daddy's little girl' because he fucked her when she was a teenager. my boyfriend actually figured this out, from knowing them, without me telling him. he's going to hover over her and wait on her. i've been in the hospital four times in the last 20 years and he never so much as called me. makes me want to take him out and beat him with a hose.
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I'm so sorry about all you've been through!

I can relate though--my dad always saw my brother as gold! He always was a compulsive liar and drug addict. He's the one who found my dad dead on his bedroom floor. And is now living in my dads house and pays no bills or mortgage. I had to plan my dads funeral and be the executor of the estate. I've had to make all the hard decisions! Alone. My brother wants his MONEY. So my dads hard earned money will make him happier? Wtf! Damm leech ! Damm loser ! I hate him ! But my dad was an enabler and my brother was my dads TWIN.
I'm just a girl who is an object and better obey.
Screw that shit! I ain't no ones maid !

My brother didn't even go to my Dads funeral ! Damm coward! My dad gave him everything! I struggled my whole life. But hey I'm NOT A LOSER, though. I have a decent life !

My point is many of us come from shitty childhood and upbringings--it should not define us. We can be better than the vicious cycle we observed growing up.

I'm sorry about your sister and your dad being awful to you.

I wish you peace
Be kind to yourself
I wish you the best
I will be thinking about you
Take care
 
I'm so sorry she's dying. She's still family and that's unfortunate. How are you feeling?
 
Sorry to hear that. What are you going to do?

Last time you wrote about her a year ago IRC, you were housemates which suggests that you were somewhat close, despite the fact that the relationship has been difficult. I'm sure that's making the whole thing harder to understand and handle.
 
yeah you talk about how awful she is but wheres the evidence- what did she actually do?

and also how do you know there was incest?

this all seems a bit extreme
 
Your sister's dying, so she will be gone soon and forever out of your life. It's easy for me to say put the past hurt behind you, but you need to move on so you can live a peaceful life. Childhood wounds cut deep, sorry man. Try to forgive your sister not just for her but for you.
 
Look I hate my sister's with a passion and for good reason.

We don't speak and haven't for a decade and one forsaked me when I was 13.

They can rot in hell.

Sounds like OCD runs in your family and your sister fucked up her immune system. She probably not gonna die fast. I know someone just like that and she has been dying the last ten years but she is probably actually dying now.

She was my drug dealer. She is batshit crazy and I don't even buy from her anymore just cuz I am sick of her shit and it was the best hookup I ever had.
 
this year alone my sister wrote $6000 worth of false checks from my dad's account, stole 50 of his lortab 10s and got arrested for shoplifting. just two days ago, i was waiting to talk to him while he was talking to her on the phone - he told her, 'i'm giving you $100 for xmas, but i'm not giving tantric and my granddaughter anything cause they ain't worth a shit.' when he got off the phone, i looked him in the eye and said, 'it's been 40 years since you fucked your own daughter and you're still sniffing after her diseased cunt like she's a bitch in heat.' so that no longer in the 'can't say to their face' category.
 
T. Calderone said:
Your sister's dying, so she will be gone soon and forever out of your life. It's easy for me to say put the past hurt behind you, but you need to move on so you can live a peaceful life. Childhood wounds cut deep, sorry man. Try to forgive your sister not just for her but for you.
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thing is, up until he did the xmas shit, i didn't really believe there was incest. i knew, but i didn't believe. now i'm having to swallow it, and its like i've swallowed poison. i feel so filthy. it's easy to psych away rage when it's inappropriate, but rage against incest isn't. they really should be tied together and beaten senseless in public. and then do it again if they ever contact each other. i just don't feel that it's wrong to think that.
 
I don't know how you can stand living there. Is she one of these women who have been carrying on about how they have been dying for the last two decades and it will be any time now? My Tennessee cousin was dying like this since the time I first met her. The last I heard, despite all the meth and other drugs, she hasn't yet managed to die.

Then there was my former neighbor Jane B. Jane was dying the whole time I knew her. The police were there all the time. She was in and out of hospitals. She was eating poop. She slept with her twenty something year old son who lived in her basement. When she finally died, seh was in her 60s.

You're in a bad situation, but you certainly must have some material from it for your writing and art.
 
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