Multiple outcomes of the MDMA high

[hayperin]

Hello,

I've been using MDMA for close to 5 years now and I'm here to discuss the different states it puts me in, the good and the bad.
This will be a moderately long post, so brace yourself. I am here mainly to find guidance on how to achieve certain ones and evade the others, but also to discuss pretty much anything about the substance itself.
Throughout the years, I have witnessed a few trends in how the substance affects me.

Here is the list of what I identify as recurring states:

The Lovey
This is the most sought-after state with many people, it could be described as amplified pure non-sexual love towards people, not only wanting to hug, but to tell people how important they are, reinforce existing relationships and talk about them, sometimes getting locked in group hugs and overall comfiness with the people around. This often happens in small social circles with little external stimuli, estabilished recurring get-togethers and similar. Not the worst state, mellow, relaxed, but for me, it can be sometimes extremely exhausting to keep up with everybody being so intense. Lately, when this comes on, I'm not really fond of it.

The Social
This is when your dose kicks in and you just want to run around talking to people pretty much about anything, are excited to be social, any conversational topic would be interesting and intriguing in this state, energy is heightened, pure hype. This is the one I experienced the most when I first started rolling. Very pleasant, very desirable, unfortunately for me, not very frequent lately. Occurs on outdoor events with friends, with live music, usually when your dose comes on while it's still daylight.

The Dancer
This one is not very common for me, since I'm kind of body conscious, but happens sometimes. Underground raves, outdoor music events when it's night already, once you get moving, stopping is not an option. Nothing around the dancefloor really matters, people around you don't exist, there's only music and your body. Desirable when I'm alone at events and can really let go, since I hate dancing in front of the people I know.

The Wave
This is when you just feel everybody's on the same note as you are. Often happens once the party ends, the sun rises, people stop the hype and just sit around, talking, being calm, casual, friendly. A successful rave.

The Philosophical
This one didn't happen to me for a long time and it happens when I dose alone, while minding my daily business or wandering around the town. It feels like the substance enters your mind and is there just to do good. Long term good. Fix things, make stuff right. It feels like every second of the high, you know what to think. You know what to do. Each of your questions is easily answered. You think about life with an elevated mindset, resolving your problems one by one, step by step, just by thinking. The feeling is like being guided, steered in exactly the right direction. All stimuli communicate with your inner narrative. An otherworldly feeling, really. One I haven't had for a long time, because lately I always enter The Desperate.

The Desperate
The substance sends me into an annoying black hole of sexual desire. Usually sending me running around bars, drinking and really just being alone and very passively looking to get some. Usually not desirable. Very frequent. Powers further dosage and drinking and getting home frustrated and tired. This state replaced The Philosphical for me quite some time ago. Would trade for The Philosophical or The Social in any second.

I might mention I sometimes do couple the substance with marijuana and the following might be caused by the very combo.

The Confused
Feeling like I just got teleported. Snapped into reality at this very exact moment, with nothing before being significant. Not a memory wipe, but a kind of devaluation of all that lead to that moment, It's a scary experience, very surreal. One begins to think about the world differently at that point. Suspecting. A little bit paranoid. But it's recoverable, because this state doesn't last long. Like a flash of derealization.

The Grinds
People grinding their teeth, high off their asses start being scary. Everybody seems like they're plotting. Nobody looks to be trusted. A certain sinister vibe enters the mind, drawing everybody as possibly evil. Usually leaves after a talk with a close one.

The Shadows
Two days in, as with some other substances a lite version of the shadowpeople is happening. Looking at a phone, the sentences written on the screen take a while to assemble from random letters. Edge of the field of vision sometimes sending false signals and micro-hallucinations, sometimes hinting the presence of a non-existent person. A potential to engage in those hallucinations more after finding a safe space. Those are usually not scary, not harmful, quickly rationalized. Although some concern is always present, since I never know if it's MDMA being hallucinogenic or it's a warning not to take more because as with some amphetamines, a psychosis might occur.

I guess the moral of the post is don't couple MDMA with marijuana. At least for me. Wonky shit happens.
But I guess I figured out when is the right time to take when writing this post.
Which of those are you experiencing? I'm in to hear about your experiences.

 

[indigoaura]

First of all, I love the way you wrote and organized your post. A true writer!

I also love how you have provided new verbiage to discuss the high.

I think it is interesting, because I want "The Desperate" because I like that state with my partner, but you want to avoid the state. If you are with a partner you are comfortable with, that desperation can transform to a peak of erotic euphoria.

Are you 100% certain that you are taking MDMA every time you roll? Have your pills/crystal been tested by a lab? Have they been tested by reagents?

How often have you been using MDMA and for how long?

I used to experience "The Shadows" post roll a few days afterwards. It would sometimes feel like some showy entity was in the corner of the room, up high against the ceiling. Creepy as fuck. I never associated it with MJ, but now that I think about it, I was smoking pot back then. I only experienced "The Confused" once, and I am pretty sure that experience was MDA or some combination of MDMA and a psychedelic, or maybe mescaline. I kept "coming to" in all these weird places while entering and exiting lucid dream states and talking to dead people. It was wild.

Do you find all of these states mutually exclusive or can they co-exist?

My rolls used to mix types 1-6 throughout the roll.

With the MDMA I have had access to in recent years, I introduce you to:

The Isolationist
You want to be alone and you wish everyone would stop talking and turn the music down so you can recline with a blanket and experience solitude. You may be self critical or critical of those around you.

In another thread, we talk about why MDMA that has been tested by a lab and appears to be MDMA seems to have so much variation, and whether there may be some undetermined factor (such as synthesis byproducts) that could be impacting the flavor of the roll.

What is wrong with the MDMA available today?

 

[FuckinAcidMan]

I'm usually hit pretty hard with philosophical, social and dancer aspects. I also find it interesting you somewhat dislike combining with cannabis, which for me is a mandatory addition, lol.

I like your writing style, dawg.

 

[hayperin]

To me, the states don't co-exist, they might alternate in one roll, but by nature, they're kind of mutually exclusive.

As an addition to The Confused, using nitrous or poppers very successfully triggers this state. But that happens even without MDMA, so that's no surprise.
I want to avoid The Desperate simply because when nobody is around, the state itself is very constricting and painful. The Philosophical is much more desirable when alone. Truth is, the state used to come up when I had a lot of personal stuff to think about, which I feel like I don't anymore. I also used to think about the nature of the universe in the earlier years, really trying to understand more about the big mystery, but there's not much stimuli to steer me back on that path in my life nowadays.
I'm definitely not sure I'm taking pure stuff everytime I roll. Throughout my relationship with MDMA, I've never had a tested pill. That's why I resort more and more to the crystal lately, because after years of taking, it's pretty much unmistakeable.

I, myself haven't ever experienced The Isolationist. Once I'm high in a social setting, I rarely desire to leave.

There is one more state I have identified, closely related to The Philosophical which I'd like to call Go Honest.
It goes like this. The substance gives you a push to come out about something you haven't been honest about. You enter a state, a wave of honesty being a little bit easier than usual. With a catch, directly targetting your conscience. Once you even think about being dishonest in any way, the high suddenly stops. No rush, nothing. If you want it back, you gotta be as real as it gets. No bullshit. It feels like a punishment, but with a window of being able to come clean. One I've experienced a few times. And you just have to go with the flow. That's the only way. And it's a gift that helped me resolve some relationship issues.

Edit: Thanks for the compliments! I needed to get this off of me and really categorize and identify the reasons some of those states occur. It's a pleasure to know it's a nice read.

 

[nznity]

My roll starts with the wave when it hits, then i begin to dance for a couple of hrs. Then i Start moving around the party socialising. After this, if i find friend i haven't seen in a long Time i get lovey. Then it's a combination of philosophical while dancing till the end of the party. That's a complete mdma experience for me.

 

[BlueBull]

I really like this post, thanks for making it. As indigoaura already said it's a joy to read because of the way you wrote and organized it. Very recognizable as well, I've been in every single one of those states. The grinds I've only experienced when I mixed MDMA with a hallucinogen and didn't particularly like the combo or the timing or dosage was off, doesn't happen often, but even that one I've had once or twice

 

[indigoaura]

I really like this post, thanks for making it. As indigoaura already said it's a joy to read because of the way you wrote and organized it. Very recognizable as well, I've been in every single one of those states. The grinds I've only experienced when I mixed MDMA with a hallucinogen and didn't particularly like the combo or the timing or dosage was off, doesn't happen often, but even that one I've had once or twice

Yeah, I have seen that one once or twice as well. Most notably, I was at a party once and a woman there mixed MDA with the prescription drug Celebrex (which she was taking for a knee injury). Well, Celebrex is a CYP2D6 inhibitor, and she had a seizure and turned blue. I called 911, and paramedics came in and hauled her off, along with her husband who had been screaming the whole time for her to not die and leave him alone.

Needless to say, everything was fucked after that, and there was just a fiendish quality to everyone I looked at (especially those who just kept using whippits almost maniacally to dry to drown out what had just happened).

The woman was okay in the long run, but that was not a moment I will ever forget.

 

[nznity]

Yeah, I have seen that one once or twice as well. Most notably, I was at a party once and a woman there mixed MDA with the prescription drug Celebrex (which she was taking for a knee injury). Well, Celebrex is a CYP2D6 inhibitor, and she had a seizure and turned blue. I called 911, and paramedics came in and hauled her off, along with her husband who had been screaming the whole time for her to not die and leave him alone.

Needless to say, everything was fucked after that, and there was just a fiendish quality to everyone I looked at (especially those who just kept using whippits almost maniacally to dry to drown out what had just happened).

The woman was okay in the long run, but that was not a moment I will ever forget.

that sounds scary ahhhhhh. My friend had a seizure collapsed and died at the last mins of a party July 29th 2016. He died 5 mins after i said goodbye to him....my friend had to stay with him at the club until the police arrived, he called me crying and i cried as well when he told me. I had to take 6mg clonaz to zone out. :/
EDIT: his heart literally exploded from too much Booze,MDMA, Cocaine and Poppers. Lethal cocktail.

 

[MazDan]

I am here mainly to find guidance on how to achieve certain ones and evade the others, but also to discuss pretty much anything about the substance itself.
Throughout the years, I have witnessed a few trends in how the substance affects me.

After reading your post the first thing that came to mind was one of the most basic things that will affect your roll and that is Set and Setting.

Set is in relation to your own state of mind which of course can be affected by many variables.

Setting is to do with the environment you are in, whether that be a rave or chilling at home with friends or alone etc