Detox Meth - I Want Out

[Dabs on Ice]

To better understand where I am today, here's my use summary:
- 2 Years
- 6oz Consumed
- Mostly via "Oil Burner" but have periodically Snorted and Plugged
- Average daily use is between 0.25gr and 0.50 (24 hours, not per sleep...)
- Last few ounces I've consumed have been tested for Fent and all tests have reported clean.
- Only my spouse & sibling are only ones aware of my addiction.
- Sibling doesn't touch it but my spouse would join me if given the chance.
- My spouse doesn't 'support' or encourage my use but nor have they tried assisting much towards recovery either... In their defense, what could they really do anyway...? I'm thankful to still have their love at this point.

- I consume a lot of THC through each day, via wax concentrates as well as dry herb form and I can typically go through between 7-10 grams of dry herb, paired with between 4-6 wax 'dabs' each day. While I am fully on board with reducing my intake of THC, I do not believe that the negative effects that it may bring me outweigh the positives.
- I do not consume any alcohol and even though it feels like small potatoes now, I haven't drank in over 6 years even though alcohol is woven thick into my family tree. I don't know of another living relative of mine that isn't dependent on the daily consumption of alcohol, so this was something I was proud of the quite a while...

- Within the past few months, I have began having random muscle ticks\jerks. Mainly just one of my legs will jump once to twice a day.
- I'm often awake 3 days and then sleep a night (6-8 hours) or sometimes two nights.
- I start having this electric-like, pulsing sensation from the eyes when I consume little or when I've tried going clean before. I hope someone knows what I am referring to, since I don't feel like I've explained properly but it's very hard for me to describe other than this uncomfortable shock that is felt throughout my body that seems to stem from my optical senses..

My last attempt I went about 2 days before giving in because I was scared that I wasn't going to be able to function again without it. I know this is foolish but in the moment I crying with whatever little energy I had, honestly believing that it was either remain like I was or take a few hits and begin researching a better way to approach overcoming this addiction.
- This last attempt was about 2-3 months ago, now... I should have been typing this out back then but I've failed myself in this direction as well.


My Questions:
- What should I expect for the worst of it?
- How long until I should be able to 'function' again without?
- What are the most common stages and symptoms experienced while detoxing?
- Is there anything that could help reduce negative symptoms?
- I read a while back about people having success with certain strains of Kratom, anyone confirm?
- Is there much hope for a promising life after all this?
I have been very depressed for what feels like the entire past 2 years of using this poison and even though I'm not suicidal, I've been very peaceful around the idea of dying...A piece of me somewhere deep down still has hope that the old, determined, strong, charismatic person I use to be can somehow still resurface if I were able to get my act together by detoxing and never looking back but that negative, depressed side of me often feels as though it's already too late..


Please, if you have any input that may be beneficial, I would greatly appreciate it if you took a moment and hared with me... I could really use some hope at this point, I don't know what else to do anymore...

I don't expect an 'easy out', I just want out...

I'm tired of silently screaming while sitting awake alone at night.
I'm tired of feeling ashamed and disappointed in myself.
I'm tired....

 

[thatmf]

If you can make it past the first 4 days that would be good. It's going to be hell for another few weeks/few months at the very least (based on the amount you've beenusing), maybe more. There is a hope for a promising life ofc but it'll probably take you a few relapses before you get clean (but who knows).

I'd say see a D+A counsellor or a psychologist if you can. CBT is very helpful when it comes to quitting. The worst of it will probably involve a dead ass feeling after a few days off it. It'll get worse before it gets better they say. You'll probably have brain fog for 3-6 months. Maybe more. I understand what you mean about being depressed while being on the drug. It's a viscious cycle and you eventually have to put your foot down. But don't bash yourself up if you don't quit after one or two tries...It's good that you're recognising the harm trhat it's causing you. I'd say the first 3-4 weeks are the hardest, every brain cell you have will be wanting to score meth. You have to go easy on yourself and commit to it as well, fight the cravings (which will probably be around until 3-4 months)...You can expect anhedonia for at least a month or two. It will get better but yeah it's an uphill struggle. I can't speak about the kratom myself but maybe someone can advise. You'll definitely be able to function again, first couple of months will be very hazy.

 

[thatmf]

- Within the past few months, I have began having random muscle ticks\jerks. Mainly just one of my legs will jump once to twice a day.
- I'm often awake 3 days and then sleep a night (6-8 hours) or sometimes two nights.
- I start having this electric-like, pulsing sensation from the eyes when I consume little or when I've tried going clean before. I hope someone knows what I am referring to, since I don't feel like I've explained properly but it's very hard for me to describe other than this uncomfortable shock that is felt throughout my body that seems to stem from my optical senses..

Honestly I'd say this is from over-tweaking and not getting enough sleep.

 

[elgoucho9]

Yeah those symptoms thatmf has quoted would appear to be showing signs heading towards seizures. Quit while your ahead. Get a few benzos and some nice weed in. Switch off the phone and lock yourself in the house for a week. Lack of sleep is much worse for you than people give it credit for. Even with sleep stimulants are the most taxing drug on your CNS function and all organs.

You will likely crash hard and have no energy for 1-2 weeks. Try start doing some light exercise as soon as possible and consuming some healthy foods fruit whole grains protein etc. You will recover from this but from what you describe definitely need to give your body some time to recover. I didn't even use alot of meth but i took a very bad turn on it once. Probably one of the most toxic stimulants out there.

 

[G_Chem]

Those zaps are probably the famed “brain zaps” people feel coming off SSRI’s or use too much MDMA. Meth also has some serotonin releasing properties so it too can cause them. That will fade in time but they are uncomfortable nonetheless.

-GC

 

[Lil'LinaptkSix]

brain zaps

I can and sometimes do have these when dosing certain substances mainly pregabalin 300mg (at this point) would have my fingers and arms (not so much waist down) all over the place. Gets worse the more I dose.
But in WD there is so much going on the whole deal can and usually is hell unless it is controlled.
Dose less it won't kill ya and you will be on a path to balance. Not gonna say stop using (doesn't work) just find a reasonable place you can maintain and work from there...?
It may seem insurmountable but it's not.
My best,
J