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Met a girl.. Need the best advice possible please

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Northprince6

Greenlighter
Joined
Mar 27, 2017
Messages
4
Hi there guys .. I'm new here and I'm looking for some advice.. I recently met this beautiful girl while taking the bus last week.. I thought she was gorgeous so as we were getting off I asked her for directions (to a place I already knew but just to start a conversation) and she was cool with helping me. & she did After that I asked her if I can follow her on IG and she said cool then she said she's in a rush and has to go .. So a few hours later I follow her and maybe a few hours later she follows back .. So I slide into her DM's but just to thank her for her help.. She replied saying she's glad she could help.. I then just sent a msg saying she should have a good weekend and she said "thanks you too love".. So the last time I spoke to her was Friday

Now my thing is this girl has like 10k followers and I got like 200 only .. I kind of feel intimated by that slightly cause I know girls who have a lot of followers can sometimes act a bit stuck up and I know what type of guys probably pursue her , like dudes with money and a car or popular dudes .. Even a few local big rappers here follow her .. So I don't have real money or a car or even my own place yet so I feel she's so outta my league.. I kinda don't know what to say now or what should be my next move cause Im not sure what's the next best thing to do or if it's even worth doing something .. I don't wanna mess it up to early . So I just wanted to know if anyone has an idea of what's the smartest next move for me to make .. I know I have nothing to lose either way but idk I really like something about this girl and I wanna try make her like me for me cause I'm an ok looking guy with a good personality .. I know she'd like me ounce she really gets to know me but how can I get her guard down for her to want to get know me

.. Keep in mind my only way of contact with her right now is via Instagram so what should I say or do next to take it further ? I also feel like If I take to long to say something she'll just forget me but if i say too much she'll just think I'm another thirsty instagram fan .. So please help asap
 
Don't take too long. Send her a message asking her if she'd like to go for drinks or get something to eat "this weekend". I'd suggest saying something along the lines of "this weekend" as it gives a couple days as an option since she could be busy but it also doesn't say "whenever" which can be pushed off until it doesn't happen.
 
Just tell her you enjoyed meeting her and ask if she wants to meet up for a drink or something. The only way you're ever gonna meet her again is some variation of that question, so don't over-complicate it.

Also, given that you met her in person, was there some reason you asked to follow her on Instagram instead of just asking for her number at the time?

I don't use Instagram so maybe that's what kids are doing these days but that just seems weird to me.
 
Vastness said:
I don't use Instagram so maybe that's what kids are doing these days but that just seems weird to me.
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OP's post is just a great example of how social media are ruining self esteem of young people. Feeling inadequate because someone has more follower on instagram. Welcome to the age where a persons worth is determined by a number on a website.
 
Northprince6 said:
After that I asked her if I can follow her on IG and she said cool then she said she's in a rush and has to go ..
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Hmm possibly a sign that she's not interested? No offence, and not at all to deter you from trying.

Now my thing is this girl has like 10k followers and I got like 200 only .. I kind of feel intimated by that slightly cause I know girls who have a lot of followers can sometimes act a bit stuck up and I know what type of guys probably pursue her , like dudes with money and a car or popular dudes .. Even a few local big rappers here follow her .. So I don't have real money or a car or even my own place yet so I feel she's so outta my league.. I kinda don't know what to say now or what should be my next move cause Im
Click to expand...

Hmm, it doesn't necessarily mean that they act stuck up; but certainly popular, good looking girls often get a lot of attention, so they can take their pick of who they like. Just in the same way that you're into good looking popular girls, she's/they're probably into good looking popular guys. Tis just the way of things. It doesn't mean that they're any more stuck up than you are - just that she's probably in more of a position to take control of their situation.

.. Keep in mind my only way of contact with her right now is via Instagram so what should I say or do next to take it further ? I also feel like If I take to long to say something she'll just forget me but if i say too much she'll just think I'm another thirsty instagram fan .. So please help asap
Click to expand...

One thing that's vital is to not come across as somebody who's needy and just doing this for the first time. If you can come across as confident (the move on the bus was ballsy so might work in your favour; but bare in mind she's probably already formed a pretty solid opinion on you from this), and make her laugh, and she is attracted to you, then you may have a chance. Otherwise she will probably either ignore you completely or just give you little one word answers, which is fine, but you'll just have to take it on the chin and learn from it.

Some of my female friends have shown me the frequent messages they get from average single men and to be honest it's embarrassing (and sometimes very creepy). I've got no doubt at all that they probably think my friends are stuck up for not replying or engaging properly in conversation, but I know that contrary to being stuck up, they just feel bad telling them outright that nothing is ever going to happen.

Not to put a downer on things or anything, but with this kind of stuff you've just got to be realistic. Don't be one of those guys, and if nothing comes of it, don't get hung up on her being 'the one'. Learn from it and improve yourself/your strategy.

Vastness said:
Also, given that you met her in person, was there some reason you asked to follow her on Instagram instead of just asking for her number at the time?

I don't use Instagram so maybe that's what kids are doing these days but that just seems weird to me.
Click to expand...

Oh yeah, this is a very good point. If you asked for her instagram because you saw it as a safer alternative to asking for her number, then you messed up on approaching her. Think about it; asking for an instagram account is a lot less personal than asking for her number. If you did that because you felt more comfortable than making it obvious that you were attracted to her and wanted to take it further, then you're basically requesting to be comfortably friend-zoned.

Then again though, like has been said, maybe that's just the done thing. Even so, asking for a number is more personal and clearly the better option.
 
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Durzo1258 said:
OP's post is just a great example of how social media are ruining self esteem of young people. Feeling inadequate because someone has more follower on instagram. Welcome to the age where a persons worth is determined by a number on a website.
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oh please, somebody being more popular and having more friends than you has always been intimidating to introverts and the less popular. this is no different from how its always been.
 
I am an introvert but I agree that a number on a social media website is pretty meaningless. to me it rather means that she probably wastes to much time on that shit ;)

but it is also pretty meaningless if someone has many friends in the real world, popular people can be dicks as well. ;)

op just ask her for a date. if she says no, at least you tried
 
Durzo1258 said:
OP's post is just a great example of how social media are ruining self esteem of young people. Feeling inadequate because someone has more follower on instagram. Welcome to the age where a persons worth is determined by a number on a website.
Click to expand...

Amen to that...
 
tathra said:
oh please, somebody being more popular and having more friends than you has always been intimidating to introverts and the less popular. this is no different from how its always been.
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Before social media popularity of others wasn't shoved in your face 24/7 on every device you use. And I don't mean introverts because a true introvert won't care. You have a example of that here. It's the extroverted people who will care about that.

What you are talking about in the past was based on a number of real people you knew in person and hung out with. Right now how "cool" you are and I mean for people like OP (no offence) is determined by how many people follow you in instagram or how many friends you have on facebook. Every time you go online you are barraged with photos of people who post their amazing lives online, you could say that before everyone was on them we lived in a state of ignorance is a bliss. There was even an article in a newspaper about mothers who feel inadequate and boring because of what super celebrities moms post on their instagram.

Sure people with fabulous lives where always a object of some jealousy, but social media changed how many people see that. And based on your join date I assume you're not a social media generation, it matters less to you than it matters to them. OP is the best example here, he feels inadequate not because the girl ignored him, but because of the number of followers on the website.

Go to urban dictionary and see this
Instagram whore :
A person who thinks having more followers than someone else makes them cool.


As for you OP
She talked to you, ignore the number of followers, grow a pair ask her out. And next time you want a date don't start with "can I follow you on whatever?" Start with "Want to grab a coffee ?". Ask the person out not the online persona.
 
Surely the answer to that is "stay the fuck off Facebook". I avoid it like the plague. It's full of mindless, needy retards that you don't really want to know and are better off not knowing.

Instead, I spend the majority of my life on Bluelight, because you're all fuckin awesome (apart from the dicks) ;)
 
Thanks everybody for your advice, I really needed this feedback to come to my decision .. I guess after reading through everybody's thoughts the obvious thing to do is just to go for broke & ask the girl out on the date & go from there .. I guess asking for her instagram was not the smartest movie but I just figured it would be easier for me to get in contact with her without being too suspect or seem to foward after just asking for directions .. Thanks guys I'll keep you posted on what happens
 
Oh & honestly I believe social media does have a negative impact on the younger generation because it gives a false sense of reality to people, especially young people .. Yes it's just a site with numbers but people give meaning to numbers just like they do with the paper we call money

The youth are the people who shape the world of tomorrow & if they feel that instagram or social media numbers determines the worth of a person .. Then when they grow up that will just be a norm to them wether it matters to the individual or not .. Yes people always were jealous or intimated by popular or wealthy people but the way social media now makes these people shove it down everyone's throats .. A kid with a developing mind will see this and think less of himself because he doesint have all the followers or likes & praise in their comments section or what not..

I personally feel like my numbers really don't reflect anything about me or who I am as person .. But I know how my generation is and how they view social media status & materialistic things & that's where my intamadtion stems from ..
 
Simple. Tell her you don't give a shit about her instagram followers. Do not follow her on instagram. In fact tell her she should delete her instagram account.
Go do better things than be on instagram. Invite her to go do something outside or actually fun. If she doesn't find that an interesting proposition, rinse, repeat, and move on to a woman who does.
 
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Tranced said:
Hmm possibly a sign that she's not interested? No offence, and not at all to deter you from trying.



Hmm, it doesn't necessarily mean that they act stuck up; but certainly popular, good looking girls often get a lot of attention, so they can take their pick of who they like. Just in the same way that you're into good looking popular girls, she's/they're probably into good looking popular guys. Tis just the way of things. It doesn't mean that they're any more stuck up than you are - just that she's probably in more of a position to take control of their situation.



One thing that's vital is to not come across as somebody who's needy and just doing this for the first time. If you can come across as confident (the move on the bus was ballsy so might work in your favour; but bare in mind she's probably already formed a pretty solid opinion on you from this), and make her laugh, and she is attracted to you, then you may have a chance. Otherwise she will probably either ignore you completely or just give you little one word answers, which is fine, but you'll just have to take it on the chin and learn from it.

Some of my female friends have shown me the frequent messages they get from average single men and to be honest it's embarrassing (and sometimes very creepy). I've got no doubt at all that they probably think my friends are stuck up for not replying or engaging properly in conversation, but I know that contrary to being stuck up, they just feel bad telling them outright that nothing is going to happen /QUOTE]

Tbh she's not as stuck up as I thought .. I've been messaging her for a few days and we've been talking & so far so good , she was really opening up to me ..but we arranged to meet & she seemed cool with it at first but now idk cause she recently got very distant .. Like she isint on her phone like at all & she isint that talkative .. She has a boydriend but I have a feeling it might be ending with him because her only IG post or recent post was so cryptic .. It just was a blurry hand covering the camera and the words "the end" & that was it.. She usually posts alot when she posts but that was her only post in the past 48hrs.. Which is when she got very quite & before that her posts made it seem like she was having problems .. Not to mention her facebook is now on single.. But we did not meet up as she just went quiet on me so I'm not really sure what's up right now .. Her last message said we can't meet up cause she has to go see her mom .. She hasint seen her since last year
.. Dunno if this is just an excuse to not see me.. If she doesint wanna hang out she can just say so but she makes it seem like she wants to but yet is kinda really quiet ..
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Is there a thing that says "for booking e-mail me at ______________?" That means she's a prostitute.

also probably should have got the number and been a bit more aggressive of the jump, she's occupying way more of your head then you hers probably forgot that whole interaction especially being an instagram thot

my main advice: NEXT
 
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