Hey guys so I'm a long time reader and a first time poster on these forums. Some background knowledge of myself is I'm a 25y/o male, 6'3" 250 pounds, that came off cold turkey from a 5 year Heroin addiction, coming up to almost 6 months now. I've decided to take the complete abstinence route and restrained myself from using all substance including Alcohol and Weed. My major battle has been my mental state over the past couple months. I find myself very depressed or angry all the time. I tend to lash out at loved ones for no apparent reason at all and deal with very bad mood swings throughout the day. I go to the gym daily to blow off some steam, but find myself feeling very insecure about my body and looks. I am an athlete in fairly good shape, but the smallest details like abit of weight gain will drive me crazy and send my insecurities through the roof. I find that I am very lazy, unmotivated and miserable all the time. A friend suggested perhaps speaking to my doctor about my issues and maybe giving anti-depressants a try. Personally I do not want to medicate anymore, whether it is self medicating or through a doctor. My only question is are the things that I am feeling normal for a post opiate mentality? Any suggestions or personal experiences would be greatly appreciated.
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Mental State After Opiate Addiction
- Thread starter migos
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PantyRaiders
Greenlighter
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- Dec 3, 2016
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Just speaking from my experience, your feelings are totally normal post opiates. The fact you have been able to abstain and workout regularly is impressive. I would give it at least another six months on this regime before you turn to medications ... especially if you didn't have these type of feelings before you started heroin. Personally, I was shocked how long it took to feel normal again.... in my case it's even about a year now and I'm getting better by the day at this point
johnnypotsmoker198
Greenlighter
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- Feb 2, 2017
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Look up PAWS (Post Acuse Withdraw Syndrome). It can take a while for you brain to operate normally after an opiate addiction, specifically a 5 year addiction.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-acute-withdrawal_syndrome
I would talk to a doctor, but anti-depressants never worked for me so I would not recommend them to anyone. But it does sound like you are experiencing PAWS.
Just be open about your addiction, but if you do see a doctor, make sure they are well versed when dealing with addiction. You may want to look up some treatment options for PAWS specifically and there may be some stuff you can do on your own.
DogLover123757
Bluelighter
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- May 3, 2015
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Hey man what you are experiencing sounds totally normal to me. Coming off opiates CT is an extremely difficult journey with a very low success rate. The feelings you are currently having are why most people relapse and no one can tell you an exact date on when it will dissipate or entirely leave you alone. I wish I could be more help but you can either stick it out and deal with it the best you can or seek out professional assistance, you don't necessarily have to get on a whole regiment of mind drugs but maybe a low dose benzo or anti anxiety could be very beneficial to you. Many people give praise to Suboxone but that can be it's own hell in itself. I am sure you probably know by now that most drugs whether illicit or prescribed have some sort of withdrawal and set back when you decide to stop them. So do what you think is best, maybe give it another three months and then reassess your situation and go from there, good luck!
Redkitty7
Greenlighter
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- Feb 21, 2017
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Google a book called The Mood Cure..it's helped me big time...I take several supplements to help my brain...the B vitamins really do help....proud of you for going to the gym. I just started fast walking 30 mins day and I know it will help too. Stick with it cause at 6 months you're already over the worst.....the best is yet to come!!!
herbavore
Bluelight Crew
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- Jul 26, 2011
- Messages
- 14,942
I would second the B vitamins.
It sounds like you deal with a fair amount of anxiety-- and maybe even obsessive thinking? It's really important to learn your vulnerabilities when you are first living a drug free life. After all, they probably went unaddressed and contributed to your drug problems in the first place (it is not irrational to want to self medicate--it just rarely works out
). Have you tried getting any counseling? If that is not available for you there are a ton of free resources from podcasts to library books to used book stores that can help you to change old thought patterns that hold you back.
The more you (and your family) can read about PAWS, the better. It can be not only empowering but comforting to know that some of your mood swings and intense emotions are actually quite normal phases of recovery. I still think it is important to address anything that may be the "old way of thinking" because that makes you more vulnerable to relapse. But don't forget (or minimize) the incredible strength and courage you have already mustered to come off a 5 year heroin habit and to do it in abstinence of everything else. Serious props for that!
It sounds like you deal with a fair amount of anxiety-- and maybe even obsessive thinking? It's really important to learn your vulnerabilities when you are first living a drug free life. After all, they probably went unaddressed and contributed to your drug problems in the first place (it is not irrational to want to self medicate--it just rarely works out
). Have you tried getting any counseling? If that is not available for you there are a ton of free resources from podcasts to library books to used book stores that can help you to change old thought patterns that hold you back.The more you (and your family) can read about PAWS, the better. It can be not only empowering but comforting to know that some of your mood swings and intense emotions are actually quite normal phases of recovery. I still think it is important to address anything that may be the "old way of thinking" because that makes you more vulnerable to relapse. But don't forget (or minimize) the incredible strength and courage you have already mustered to come off a 5 year heroin habit and to do it in abstinence of everything else. Serious props for that!
Smoky
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- May 18, 2014
- Messages
- 6,247
Congrats!
Yes, exercise... mix it up, keep it fun too, various types when body has energy. Rest when needed. Acupuncture, supplements... amino's maybe still, vitamins (& electrolytes), exercise... meditation.
Noticing the recurring thoughts that could point to unaddressed issues of oneself and others. Talk about this.. Addiction can be traumatic in itself not just to the body but physiologically.
You seem to be doing great. It's totally normal to have this but varies from individual of course.
Yes, exercise... mix it up, keep it fun too, various types when body has energy. Rest when needed. Acupuncture, supplements... amino's maybe still, vitamins (& electrolytes), exercise... meditation.
Noticing the recurring thoughts that could point to unaddressed issues of oneself and others. Talk about this.. Addiction can be traumatic in itself not just to the body but physiologically.
You seem to be doing great. It's totally normal to have this but varies from individual of course.
Hey,
First off, congrats on 5 months! I am only on day 9 so kudos to you, that is an awesome achievement and you should feel great about yourself.
All I can say really is that it's a big life change we ex-addicts are going through - huge in fact. And I think there is a lot of fear in the mind about making these massive changes. And that alone can drive a lot of these, depressive and aggressive tendencies (that actually might well be cravings you don't know how to deal with constructively).
I think you really need a support structure because although you've done brilliantly to come off the H it doesn't sound like the underlying problems that caused that addiction were addressed properly. I would personally not go and seek out more drugs (in the form of anti-depressants) - that is just a whole new world of shit and you are smarter and stronger than that (though if you really need them - and it's possible you might - a psychiatrist is the one to see and even then only after several sessions should you really consider about medication). You have come so far.
I would go see a doctor and really push for counselling - even if this is PAWS or not I think getting some more support would really help. You seem very self-critical and not at peace with yourself from what you are saying about yourself. It's incredibly difficult but learning to love yourself - including all your faults no matter how bad they are - is really essential before you can move on. It's not egotistical at all to love yourself - in fact, you'll find the people most at peace and who love themselves are the most helpful members of society.
And yes, exercise is very important amongst other things. Meditation possibly even more so IMO. Really stick with it and give it a chance though.
Good luck. You are doing great.
First off, congrats on 5 months! I am only on day 9 so kudos to you, that is an awesome achievement and you should feel great about yourself.
All I can say really is that it's a big life change we ex-addicts are going through - huge in fact. And I think there is a lot of fear in the mind about making these massive changes. And that alone can drive a lot of these, depressive and aggressive tendencies (that actually might well be cravings you don't know how to deal with constructively).
I think you really need a support structure because although you've done brilliantly to come off the H it doesn't sound like the underlying problems that caused that addiction were addressed properly. I would personally not go and seek out more drugs (in the form of anti-depressants) - that is just a whole new world of shit and you are smarter and stronger than that (though if you really need them - and it's possible you might - a psychiatrist is the one to see and even then only after several sessions should you really consider about medication). You have come so far.
I would go see a doctor and really push for counselling - even if this is PAWS or not I think getting some more support would really help. You seem very self-critical and not at peace with yourself from what you are saying about yourself. It's incredibly difficult but learning to love yourself - including all your faults no matter how bad they are - is really essential before you can move on. It's not egotistical at all to love yourself - in fact, you'll find the people most at peace and who love themselves are the most helpful members of society.
And yes, exercise is very important amongst other things. Meditation possibly even more so IMO. Really stick with it and give it a chance though.
Good luck. You are doing great.