Memory impairment: is it anxiety or MDMA/empathogenic drugs?

[PillsAndKills]

So I used to be a regular on the recovery thread from the start of 2016 for some months after suffering the old 'LTC' after a heavier than advisable binge on NYE. My overall use was short, with me having rolled on 6 separate occasions in total beginning in October 2015 through to NYE which was the last time I rolled. Long story short, a few days after I suffered a cocktail of anxiety symptoms including panic attacks, DP/DR, the lot. A year on and I feel much better with only occasional bouts of anxiety and DP/DR. The only remaining issue I seem to have is that of my memory or organisation of memory.

I struggle to remember in what order I did things in the last week and sometimes can forget what I did a few days ago and need a cue in order to remember. Sometimes concentration can be a problem too. Could this be drug-related or anxiety-related?

I should mention that the 'MDMA' I took on all 6 occasions was supplied by a trusted friend and I have therefore no way of knowing whether or not I was taking pure MDMA or even MDMA at all. Based on my rolls (typical MDMA effects, loved talking to strangers etc.) and drug reports of my area from 2016 I can say it was likely I did take MDMA, but I've left the question open to the suggestion of other drugs effects.

I also have no intention of bad-mouthing this drug and scaring other users. I was irresponsible in the way I went about taking this drug and I wish I had stumbled across bluelight earlier and taken on board the harm reduction points.

 

[Cotcha Yankinov]

You may simplify long term memory down to two factors: attention and sleep.

Attention plays a large role in what our brain manages to recall and remember even in the short term, and then later on what it can consolidate/encode into long term memory. The brain cannot remember all of its sensory input - it essentially has to decide what is worth keeping and what is worth passing on. A lot of that decision to keep a bit of information is attention based, partially because attention is emotionally directed in many ways. For example, you're going to pay a lot of attention to a shady looking man running towards you with an object, and then you're very likely to recall that many months later.

During sleep on the other hand, your brain essentially transfers short term memory in a short term holding tank (if you will) into long term storage for later recall.

Mindfulness boasts improvements in memory and cognition, and this could have a lot to do with effects on the attentiveness that you pay to the present moment as well as beneficial effects on sleep architecture. I would focus on staying in the present moment and learning to apply mindfulness throughout the day after practicing in concentrated 15 minute or so sessions with guided audio. The memory issues you're experiencing could have to do with "un-mindfulness", and the biological changes that will follow chronic un-mindfulness.

Eventually things like increased connectivity between the two hemispheres of your frontal cortex (seen with mindfulness practice) will kick in and I expect you'll see some improvements then, but you may have to practice mindfulness for a while until you see benefits (similar to the benefits of exercise not necessarily being immediate).

Mindfulness is associated with a decrease in the activity of the "default mode network", and therein is probably a lot of its efficacy. Anxiety/depression/ADHD on the other hand are associated with runaway activity of the rumination-esque default mode network.

Activation of the default mode network is associated with a disconnect from the external world, which is where all of the input that you would normally be sorting into memory originally comes from. More connection with the external world = better memory of events that occurred in the external world. Hope this was helpful, any questions are welcome.

 

[JBrandon]

Damn, I have not had the benefits of mindfulness explained to me like that ever before - be it counselors, rehab, books, or audio resources. Thanks! (I'm not the OP)