Wow that's interesting. Can you let me know what happened or how you felt maybe? It's okay if you don't want to.
I only put it in quotes because it's such a cliche phrase that cracks me up a bit. I find it amusing when people use it for the most mundane item or thing. I don't discredit you having a life changing experience at all or anyone else saying it. I'm just a cynical person probably.
Oh, I get it. Yeah in that case quotes do apply. As it’s not life-changing in a sense that high dose psychedelics and dissos, even emphatogens can, and even than just sometimes be. Like I could say for myself that over hundreds and hundreds experiences of those I had dozen(s) that were truly life-changin but out of many thousands of drug experiences I might say hundred(s) were life-changing, with quotes, and also not really for the better every time. In that sense even 50 – 50 might be true, but with a trick that you don’t get that sense right away but, lets say, every line of K feels like it’s for the better but it isn’t at all. Psychedelics I think gravitate toward mostly positive life-changing and when not it’s usually more of neutral change, hardly ever truly negative. Than emphatogens, this is tricky, curing some trauma is definitely positive but countless great, fantastic experiences all might seem like a positive thing, at the given time but mostly it a fake-positive if that makes sense.
Now for the memantine. It’s the first NMDA antagonist I got in a long time, beside nitrous. I knew I wont get wow effects like from K. But I also hoped and felt I can get some of that NMDA antagonist feeling, healing.. O yeah, I’ll rather describe you high dose experience combined with only some weed a a couple drinks max as 40 – 50mg dose involved quite a bit of other things so it wouldn’t really be description of memantines effects.
I took about 140mg at the start but once the effects started to kick in I kept adding more. It takes a long time to kick in and longer for the peak but once it starts adding 20, 30 or so mg makes a difference quite fast (again at least 30min for any real change and a lot longer for full add-on so to speak). Cumulatively I took well above 200mg before next sleep, it’s been a while and I treated it like safe and easy drug but won’t try to guess exact dose even I maybe noted it somewhere here. It felt kind of like K stripped of most of the effects but with cross over with 3-meo-PCP again stripped out of most of it’s effects. Even with cumulative doses over 200mg (or one try with 170mg at once) it was hardly visual, I would say visuals were closer to low dose of nitrous (nitrous for me sometimes, but only sometimes gets pretty visual if I keep pushing it) than other dissos I tried but still..that’s just to give you a feel how it’s weak in that aspect BUT even visuals are very weak they are there at big doses and now when I think about it, they are maybe even closer to low dose mushroom visuals. But not pastel but more sharp when it comes do details, and no breathing of things but rather some crispiness. Well I’ll stop trying to describe visual aspects but it’s nice, really even a bit cartoonish but also like it shows cold, clinical aspect even in the visuals.
And visual aspect doesn’t follow head-space as on low doses there’s little mental effects but no visuals, at high dose mental effects are there and can be even strong but you hardly get any visuals. Similar is with body high, wonkines and numbness are there, but again just slight compared to mental effects. And mental effects are clear. Clear-headed but heavy. I describe it as such because lack of euphoria, basically total lack of it. So you end up dealing with pretty pronounced, even clinical and in a sense like just a few compartments of self are really dissociated if that makes any sense.
But given memantine showed up in my life as I was having to deal with some not so nice things in life. A loss and inability on one side for some things and forbidnes to get back some things and people on the other. So dissociation really made me good. Made me look at all of it like I should have been perceiving it even sober, but didn’t. It also gave me comfort via fact that I’ll be in a sense without obligation to deal with it directly for probably over 24h, and have that time to prepare and to dissolve a lot of negative feelings. And that pretty much was like that. I drank some wine and smoked a joint during peak (when I was peaking from initial 140mg or so dose and added at least 40mg more). That intensified it significantly, without adding euphoria so it made me think for a moment, this is not good. I must admit I even panicked a bit, and I rarely panic even on heavy doses of whatever. I finished joint anyway and sat on the summer Sun to meditate a bit and was soon back in a no-feeling-fantastic but feeling-weird-in-a-good way. From there I enjoyed it, added some more and stopped as I didn’t want bad insomnia for days. I very much enjoyed some whiskey with some good people. They weren’t aware how high I was, at least I think. Whiskey was making it somewhat euphoric too, and acted in a some kind of good synergy rather than just getting drunk on top of memantine. I also drank slower than I usually do. Not sure was it on that occasion or when I took 170mg at once I figured out being in public and adding just a drink too much can make you zone out or dissociate enough that it’s inappropriate. Didn’t got me aggressive or anything but was I alone I would have trouble getting home and not bringing attention to myself cuz walking than wasn’t that easy (even tho usually such impact of memantine alone doesn’t seem to be strong at all). Still I was having a good time and I love demanding mental experiences and this was such. In a sense it was as demanding as 3-meo-PCP (K, Ether, nitrous don’t feel very demanding for myself and even hole doses are usually very pleasurable while Salvia is another league all-together) but without most of the effects BUT without real euphoria so drawing parallel with a lot more stronger, like magnitudes stronger experience all-together makes sense. I could keep describing it but I’ll conclude -
It was life-changing in a sense it gave me more positive outlook on things happening to me and a sense of hope I’ll be able to deal with it. And a bonus of 24h of pause with mundane aspects of life hardly anyone can enjoy.
Beside that and couple more medium – high doses of memantine I kind of keep it for lowering tolerance and for neuroprotective effects but have plans to incorporate it in some combos once I acquire other material or maybe share it with a romantics partner as I feel that in that case clinical and cold aspects would be lowered a lot if some erotica is added.
