Me and my Stepbrother

[G_Chem]

The following is a story for anyone that’s ever been the black sheep of the family constantly compared to your sibling, there’s hope.


My parents divorced when I was about 8, my mom being a raging alcoholic and we had had enough. I was always close to my dad over my mom and if you look at pics from when I was a baby, they were all of him holding me never my mom. (Kinda cute considering he was a muscle ripped tattooed biker with how sweet he was to me.)

Within months of the divorce my mom had “gotten sober” and met someone in the program. Not long after that they were married.

Me and my moms relationship has always been a strained one, she never wanted to get sober but we kind of forced her otherwise she would of lost all her kids (me and my younger siblings). I’ve always been the one to point out the issues, the “sensitive” one.

Well of course step dad wanted to act all cool at first but looking back he had his way of slyly bringing me down any way he could. Telling me I wouldn’t amount to much, calling me a druggy before I ever became one.

My step father had a son pretty much identical to me in age. When we first met we got along being two normal kids but there was this underlying competition that I was never aware of.

Step brother would be bought any game or toy he wanted, and would then tease me with them. I was always far second to get the same games or toys. When he did he’d try anything he could to get me jealous.

He was better looking as kids, I was kind of chubby from a horrible diet (poor) and had that blonde gelled hair everyone liked in the 90’s lol. I was always living in his shadow and he made sure I knew it. He slowly became more like his dad, any way he could bring me down he would.

I remember in middle school we hung out with two cute girls one night and I had been majorly digging one of them. He went as far as to not only tell her but then with all his friends around called me and was like “hey remember that girl you thought was cute, oh yea she’s right here why don’t you talk to her!” Put her on the phone and then proceeded to laugh with his friends in the background while me and her awkwardly tried to make convo saying “oh why are you all shy now!?!”

Needless to say soon as I got to high school drugs came natural. Shit they’d been calling me a druggy already for years, might as well make them happy.

Over high school we grew apart much further, he was the golden child with straight A’s that ran track and CC, Abercrombie n Fitch, all that shit. I became an outsider, hung with the older kids snorting cocaine and drinking daily, barely graduating high school.

Any chance he could narc me out on something stupid or hurt me he would, it got worse at this point because unlike before I was starting to grow into my own person. Without him near me to bring me down my confidence grew, I was becoming a strong built good looking man. Partying inevitably brought about confidence with women due to the lowered inhibitions and sexual experiences of getting fucked up as a kid.

He saw me progressing (in ways..) and I think once he realized he couldn’t bring me down anymore we just stopped talking completely.

Soon as I was able to begin living my own life, my drug addictions became much less of an issue. I quit heroin, stopped crack and cocaine for a long while. I realized why I was using so much.


Over the years despite my massive drug use, I’ve been able to maintain a very long mostly healthy relationship with a smart beautiful woman. I started my own business that I make good money at. I train nearly daily, look 10yrs younger and am confident in my life. Have all my hair.. I never went to college but I studied just as hard during those times (my girl was studying to be a doc so I had to do something) on subjects that actually interested me and benefit me.

My step brother went to college twice, a debt my parents are still paying off. He’s never quite happy with what he’s doing. He’s fat, unmotivated, and frankly has a homely (albeit sweet) wife that acts extremely immature at times. Lost all his hair from doing nothing but drinking Mountain Dew and WoW. Every time I see him I get the impression he longs for the “old days.”


This morning as I laid in bed I thought of just how much I was told as a child I was gonna be a loser. How they essentially groomed me to become an outsider, how they pushed me to use drugs only to find out later my abusive step dad would then use the drugs he found off me himself..

Thing is this. Every time they gave him something and not me, every time I got in trouble and he didn’t it made me stronger. It made me have to take care of myself.

I’m sure others in this forum can relate to that feeling of being the black sheep. If anyone is in a similar situation know that karma is real, you just gotta hang on tight and ride the ride.

-GC

 

[tracedwards313]

Just oit of curiousity, how old are you GC?

 

[G_Chem]

Just oit of curiousity, how old are you GC?

Mid 30’s. Not old but when I look at everyone else my age I can’t help but feel I got to have my cake and eat it too. Proper diet and exercise, it’s amazing what it can do for mind and body.

My step brother was pushed so hard by his dad to do sports as a kid that when he graduated he gave it all up. I was never pushed to do sports by my dad, instead he just had weights and heavy bag around and when I was ready (aka I wanted to impress girls) I got on em.

-GC

 

[tracedwards313]

I really need to get my shit together in that aspect of my life. I never had to try hard to stay in shape throughout my life, which has made for some laziness on my part. I just turned 30 and now it requires significant effort to get in shape, unlike in my younger years. I dont want to be that dude who just lets himself go in his 30's.

I have seen a lot of people go to both ends of the spectrum in their 30's and the quality of life for the people who decide to make fitness a part of their daily life is so much better its crazy.

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

God, I can relate to this story.

I was the youngest child with an age difference of 11 & 15 years between me and my two older brothers. My mother doted on me, but she was overbearing, controlling and frankly, smothered and repressed me from an early age. She was always telling me how she had wanted a girl and I always felt that she was disappointed that I was yet another boy. In fact, she basically treated me like a girl by being overly protective and making me look 'pretty'. This resulted in me developing a rebellious streak. I became devious, did everything she forbade me to do and learnt to lie extremely well. Whenever I did something she disapproved of, she'd say "your brothers wouldn't do this, do it again and I won't love you".

Yeh, I know.

My family were all so fuckin straight it was weird. Everything was always so perfect - at least it appeared that way. My dad worked long hours 7 days a week so I rarely saw him. I was totally under the control of my mum. Although I idolised my brothers they were more like uncles due to the age gap. They passed exams, never got in trouble and got good jobs (it wasnt until several years later that I discovered my oldest brother's porn addiction. If only mum knew...)

I entered my teenage years repressed, anxious, and feeling like a mummy's boy. Due to being very blond and wearing thick national health glasses my schoolmates used to mercilessly take the piss, which obviously knocked my confidence. However, I was never bullied - I seemed to retain a strength of character where i wouldn't allow that to happen.

Obviously, when I hit 15 drugs came into my life - or rather I actively sought them out. I had always been curious and when I heard about drugs on the news from an early age I was determined to try as many as possible - probably because my mum was also saying how disgusting and depraved people who take drugs are. Apparently people who have sex were disgusting and depraved as well - god knows how she had three kids.

So I embarked upon my career as a druggie. I felt more accepted by other drug users - they were more accepting and less judgemental than the straights and my family.

I was pretty intelligent and sailed through my O levels at 16. But failed my A levels at 18 - much to the disgust of my mother who delighted in ramming it down my throat how well my brothers had done.

Since then I've muddled through life. Experienced multiple substance abuse issues, many different jobs and low levels of income.

My parents are now dead. My brothers are still leading very 'normal lives' wrapped in their little bubbles shielding them from reality and I have very little to do with them now. I'm the black sheep and we are totally different.

I still take drugs - and I still enjoy it. I have my own family now. My mrs is a nutter and my kids are cunts, but I love them all dearly - at least they're not fuckin straights.

Oh, and I'm the only one of us to have attained a university degree when I became a mature student at the age of 35. It's pretty meaningless to me, but it's a big "fuck you" to my brothers...

 

[nuttynutskin]

God, I can relate to this story.

I was the youngest child with an age difference of 11 & 15 years between me and my two older brothers. My mother doted on me, but she was overbearing, controlling and frankly, smothered and repressed me from an early age. She was always telling me how she had wanted a girl and I always felt that she was disappointed that I was yet another boy. In fact, she basically treated me like a girl by being overly protective and making me look 'pretty'. This resulted in me developing a rebellious streak. I became devious, did everything she forbade me to do and learnt to lie extremely well. Whenever I did something she disapproved of, she'd say "your brothers wouldn't do this, do it again and I won't love you".

Yeh, I know.

My family were all so fuckin straight it was weird. Everything was always so perfect - at least it appeared that way. My dad worked long hours 7 days a week so I rarely saw him. I was totally under the control of my mum. Although I idolised my brothers they were more like uncles due to the age gap. They passed exams, never got in trouble and got good jobs (it wasnt until several years later that I discovered my oldest brother's porn addiction. If only mum knew...)

I entered my teenage years repressed, anxious, and feeling like a mummy's boy. Due to being very blond and wearing thick national health glasses my schoolmates used to mercilessly take the piss, which obviously knocked my confidence. However, I was never bullied - I seemed to retain a strength of character where i wouldn't allow that to happen.

Obviously, when I hit 15 drugs came into my life - or rather I actively sought them out. I had always been curious and when I heard about drugs on the news from an early age I was determined to try as many as possible - probably because my mum was also saying how disgusting and depraved people who take drugs are. Apparently people who have sex were disgusting and depraved as well - god knows how she had three kids.

So I embarked upon my career as a druggie. I felt more accepted by other drug users - they were more accepting and less judgemental than the straights and my family.

I was pretty intelligent and sailed through my O levels at 16. But failed my A levels at 18 - much to the disgust of my mother who delighted in ramming it down my throat how well my brothers had done.

Since then I've muddled through life. Experienced multiple substance abuse issues, many different jobs and low levels of income.

My parents are now dead. My brothers are still leading very 'normal lives' wrapped in their little bubbles shielding them from reality and I have very little to do with them now. I'm the black sheep and we are totally different.

I still take drugs - and I still enjoy it. I have my own family now. My mrs is a nutter and my kids are cunts, but I love them all dearly - at least they're not fuckin straights.

Oh, and I'm the only one of us to have attained a university degree when I became a mature student at the age of 35. It's pretty meaningless to me, but it's a big "fuck you" to my brothers...

Sounds like your mom was a classic narcissist.

 

[Specified]

Yeah

 

[G_Chem]

God, I can relate to this story.

I was the youngest child with an age difference of 11 & 15 years between me and my two older brothers. My mother doted on me, but she was overbearing, controlling and frankly, smothered and repressed me from an early age. She was always telling me how she had wanted a girl and I always felt that she was disappointed that I was yet another boy. In fact, she basically treated me like a girl by being overly protective and making me look 'pretty'. This resulted in me developing a rebellious streak. I became devious, did everything she forbade me to do and learnt to lie extremely well. Whenever I did something she disapproved of, she'd say "your brothers wouldn't do this, do it again and I won't love you".

Yeh, I know.

My family were all so fuckin straight it was weird. Everything was always so perfect - at least it appeared that way. My dad worked long hours 7 days a week so I rarely saw him. I was totally under the control of my mum. Although I idolised my brothers they were more like uncles due to the age gap. They passed exams, never got in trouble and got good jobs (it wasnt until several years later that I discovered my oldest brother's porn addiction. If only mum knew...)

I entered my teenage years repressed, anxious, and feeling like a mummy's boy. Due to being very blond and wearing thick national health glasses my schoolmates used to mercilessly take the piss, which obviously knocked my confidence. However, I was never bullied - I seemed to retain a strength of character where i wouldn't allow that to happen.

Obviously, when I hit 15 drugs came into my life - or rather I actively sought them out. I had always been curious and when I heard about drugs on the news from an early age I was determined to try as many as possible - probably because my mum was also saying how disgusting and depraved people who take drugs are. Apparently people who have sex were disgusting and depraved as well - god knows how she had three kids.

So I embarked upon my career as a druggie. I felt more accepted by other drug users - they were more accepting and less judgemental than the straights and my family.

I was pretty intelligent and sailed through my O levels at 16. But failed my A levels at 18 - much to the disgust of my mother who delighted in ramming it down my throat how well my brothers had done.

Since then I've muddled through life. Experienced multiple substance abuse issues, many different jobs and low levels of income.

My parents are now dead. My brothers are still leading very 'normal lives' wrapped in their little bubbles shielding them from reality and I have very little to do with them now. I'm the black sheep and we are totally different.

I still take drugs - and I still enjoy it. I have my own family now. My mrs is a nutter and my kids are cunts, but I love them all dearly - at least they're not fuckin straights.

Oh, and I'm the only one of us to have attained a university degree when I became a mature student at the age of 35. It's pretty meaningless to me, but it's a big "fuck you" to my brothers...

I feel for you man. It sounds like you couldn’t escape her. My one saving grace was my dads place. Since my folks got a divorce I was more or less able to choose as I got older where I stayed.

My moms house was the rich house in suburbs, supposedly picture perfect. My dads house was this little place out in the rural sticks. My dad was much poorer but for everything he didn’t have, there was one thing he did. Peace.

That man never gave me shit for any of my indiscretions, cuz he’d lived them himself. We’d spend our days smoking cannabis and talking for hours as we sat outside admiring the forests and beauty around us. Any time my mom, step dad or step siblings (I got a fun step sister too lol) would make my life hell, that was my oasis.


I know what you mean though, life using drugs will forever beat the life of a straight. As is evidenced above, you could try your best to play by the rules and have it all goes sideways on you.


I should note that my mother and step father are such bad addicts now that they eat codeine, hydrocodone, lorazepam, soma, cannabis edibles, anything relaxing they can get their hands on. They kicked me out and treated me like garbage only to find out they were much worst than I ever could be.

Last time I went to see them, I for some reason still have this desire even after all this to make mom happy. I brought her some high potency opioid hoping to see a smile and a “thank you son” but instead she took them and then immediately (because of her guilt) began going down my throat with the “oh GC are you hooked on these again?!?”

She has this remarkable way of justifying her own massive addictions (of which she’s the worst functioning addict I’ve seen, she somehow always barely pulls it off) by reminding me of when I was in HS a decade and a half ago.

I just walked out without saying a word, that’s my momma. Mom issues huh? Lol.

I prefer being the black sheep to that family cuz frankly they’ve never been positive in my life anyways, nothing for those people. I was shocked at how good I was doing once I finally got rid of them, but my step bro in particular. It was almost like an abusive relationship growing up where he made me feel that I’d never be cool without him around, until I realized friends preferred my company because of his narcissistic personality.


FUBAR I will say your relationship with your kids is a positive one no matter what anyone says. I remember so many people judged my dad for how he’d act with me at times but looking back his openness and acceptance was exactly what I needed.

-GC

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

FUBAR I will say your relationship with your kids is a positive one no matter what anyone says. I remember so many people judged my dad for how he’d act with me at times but looking back his openness and acceptance was exactly what I needed.

-GC

Heh 'mom issues' indeed..

But thanks for that last paragraph, it means a lot. My kids have seen the best of me, they've seen the worst of me. But most of what they've seen is honesty. I've never tried to make them something they're not. I support them fully even when they fuck up. I want them to know me like I never knew my family...