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Me and my Husband constantly argue over sex

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PeggyLuXXX

Greenlighter
Joined
Dec 28, 2017
Messages
1
Hi all.
Me and my Husband are constantly arguing over sex.
I have quite a high sex drive and could easily have sex 2 or 3 times a day but I only get it between every 3 - 5 days.
It’s really frustrating and causing me psychological damage that my Husband doesn’t realise how deep it runs.
It also causes a buildup of pain within my body that my Husband believes I am lying about because I didn’t tell him about straight away.
The reason I didn’t tell him was because I was too ashamed to.
I can’t go on arguing with him forever but I’m at a loss as to what I can do.
All I want to do is connect with him again through sex but it’s treated like a taboo subject and it’s really embarrassing to me how much of a prude he is.
I wish he’d openly discuss the subject instead of telling me to “shush” all the time.
I’m at my wits end and I’m having to pretend that I’m happy when I’m not.
I have tried pretending that everything is OK and that he doesn’t have to worry anymore about it but I do worry about the impact it is having on me which is why we end up arguing over this all the time.
I don’t want to cheat on him and I love him dearly but I’m at a loss as to what to do because he won’t cooperate by say going to the doctor and getting pills that will increase his sex drive (not viagra which doesn’t do anything for sex drive.)
I can’t go on like this but nobody is taking me seriously and I’m being told it is a low priority.
I feel like crying all the time and it is because of sexual frustration, embarrassment, physical pain and non connection to my Husband through sex.
Can anyone help me or give me advice as to what I can do?
Many thanks.
Lin.
 
Humans are all different. Sex drives vary. Presumably you and your husband share other things that are important to you. Rather than demanding that someone's sex drive mirror your own (or him demanding the same of you) it seems that you should accept each other for what you do have (assuming you are happy with the sex when it does happen) and work on finding ways to satisfy yourself sexually when he isn't into it. Because if you allow this to destroy the relationship it will. I guess it's just a matter of whether it is the most important part of the relationship.
 
So, what happens in these arguments? What is said to one and other? It sounds like you are over-valuing sex while he's under-valuing it. I'll tell you one thing, if I found out my wife felt like this, I'd be completely heartbroken. I would feel like I let her down, but at the same time she let me down by not communicating this. However, you say you guys argue about it so there is at least SOME communication happening, but it doesn't sound healthy. Which is why I ask about the contents of these arguments. Is any actual information being exchanged or is it just frustrations boiling over?
 
My boyfriend and I regularly use heroin and it's had different effects on our individual sex drives. I'm like you and could easily enjoy getting shagged 3 times a day, and when I'm high it's really, really nice but my boyfriend finds it difficult to get an erection, let alone maintain one when he's spun. I usually end up playing with a toy while we cuddle. For us, the bond around our mutual need for dope is deeper and ultimately more fulfilling than the kind of sex we have when he's not high.
 
OP --- you suffer Physical Pain from NOT having enough sex ?
Did I understand this correctly?

You are upset that the Husband doesn't want to see a doctor to get on medication to increase his sex drive....
Have you seen a doctor about this pain you suffer from not getting enough sex ? I personally have never heard this complaint (not from a female any way. Pain from too little sex hmmmmm ) ????

I learned about a term called Vaginal Congestion in my human sexuality course in college. It was a back-up (apparently ) of fluids within the vaginal walls which would normally be released via orgasm. I don't recall too much about it except that it was something noted in the Kinsey Studies of the 1950s . It wasn't entirely surprising that certain statistics were hard to measure or levels were negligible, considering that the females recruited for participation in his studies were prostitutes --- they hadn't been getting their orgasms because they physically were not Enjoying the sex they were having.

I'm sorry this is takin a toll on your relationship. Any proposal of counselling? ? ? (I'll take a gamble that if your spouse is not too keen on seeing his doctor for this subject, that sitting in a therapist office Discussing it may not be on his To-Do list either )

I hope you don't jump to extra marital affairs over this, I mean unless he approves? If it can be an open marriage? I would fear even then it would cause more problems than bring about benefits.

You need good honest communication. If that fails for long enough, relationships fall apart.

Are your other needs met ?
Household / income/ health / emotional support from outside the house / validation as Individuals whether thru occupation / or children or a position in the community?
I guess I'm asking "is this sex thing the ONLY problem? " . . . I dont mean for that to sound insensitive

I wish you luck-- maybe see about a doctor for your Pain and a therapist about the Discrepancies between your sex drive and his. Usually sexual dysfunction is a symptom. Not of some awful illness I mean but a symptom of something psychological that's not been healed or addressed properly.

Take care. Keep posting.
 
Masterbation may be part of your solution, especially if experiencing physical pain and a doctor rules out anything more serious.

Also it is very unclear how well you are communicating considering you argue about it but also pretend that it isn’t an issue.

Honest communication is key to all relationships, even if it is the undoing of the relationship.
 
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Don't have an affair be an adult and don't be weak fuck. Talk to him and solve it. Wish my wife waantd to fuck 3 times a day I'd love it
 
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