MDMA "Flashbacks", preoccupied with the memory of ecstasy.

[JitterBob]

So I have been doing Molly infrequently over the past year. I recently did it after waiting about 3 months. It was half a gram of Molly. I didn't expect much. My boyfriend and I each mixed half a gram crushed into a bottle of water and chugged it. Within about 10 minutes I felt something light. My boyfriennd asked if I felt it and I said a little. I sat down and about 10 seconds later I was SO high I couldn't believe it. My eyes were shaking all over and I was just in utter and complete ecstacy. I couldn't even move. My boyfriend was on the floor in front of the computer listening to that song "Safe and sound". It sounded so fantastic, he asked me to come to the floor and watch it but I was so high I just couldn't even move. It mellowed out about 10 minutes later and I had oone of the best rolls of my life even though nothing particularly special happened. We just hung with out old roommates and listened to music.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about it. It was about 5 days ago and I still cannot stop thinking back on it. It bugs me only because it's more of a "I miss that" feeling. I remember the way it felt but I'm sad when I think about it. I try to describe it to people and it's just obvious they don't grasp how amazing it was. I know it sounds stupid and I will get over it but I guess I just haven't had such a great time on MDMA in a very long time and it made a big impact on me. I especially can't think about or hear that particular song I heard while I was peaking without getting an extremely sad sentimental feeling. It feels sort of like if you were to think about a friend who died a long time ago? If that makes any sense?

I just wonder if anyone else has felt something similar after a great roll? It's not like a huge problem. I still go to work and function fine, it's just bothersome.

 

[Mr.MDxx]

I get that after anything super enjoyable. I'm still wishing I could go back to the Zedd show I saw last weekend and am missing all the friends I went there with (it was in Seattle with my rave family who are all from Seattle, I'm from Vancouver BC) I was completely sober for the show but I still have that "take me back" kinda sad feeling.

But... You know what makes me happy? The fact that I am going to be back down there again in 2 weekend and then again the weekend after that for two more shows! I find if I have something to look forward to it keeps the sadness away.

 

[JitterBob]

Thanks, that's sort of helpful actually. I'm thinking of asking my boyfriend for Molly as my birthday present in December. I think it's reasonable to keep doing it as long as I put a good amount of time in between rolls. I don't really feel the urge to do it often, I know that would diminish the overall strength of the rolls. It's just good to know other people experience this sort of separation sadness after something super fun like ecstasy.

 

[LucidSDreamr]

This is totally natural and common.

That song will probably always give you that feeling of longing....but just not as bad as it is right now.

its like a feeling of nostalgia

 

[laugh]

Agreed I'd say you are still feeling some afterglow effects.

This is part of the beauty of the substance (similar to that of LSD), where it has the potential to be a life changingly positive experience. Obviously it can go the other way to, just read some of the horror stories and threads of threat and fear.

I prefer LSD to realign my sights but I know mdma can have similar effects.

Caveat emptor; what goes up must/usually comes down.

 

[badrobot114]

I had a similar experience two weeks ago, although i took much less than half a gram. every pore of my body was overflowing with euphoria and sitting with my girlfriend in a vast field as the sun was coming up(as were we ), listening to the the birds waking up and gazing upon the mountains in the horizon i simply couldn't help myself but cry tears of joy. it took my about a week to stop getting goosebumps an the urge to cry again(tears of joy, of course) thinking of that roll.

a good roll(or trip) like that, is in my opinion, the pinnacle of joy and an experience that will always remain in your heart. with that said, your reaction is normal and as time goes by the experience will be better integrated into your life and not evoke these strong emotions but turn into a happy and empowering memory that can give you strength and put a smile on your face in times of need.

besides, there's always the next roll