MDMA Abuse - Ansiety, insomnia, low libido and premature ejaculation

[Budal202]

Brazilian MDMA Abuse - Ansiety, insomnia, low libido and premature ejaculation

Hello guys. The reason i'm creating a new thread is because english is not my native language, and I'm having a hard time trying to study and understand the experiences reported here. so I would love to receive specific advice in my experience to facilitate my understanding.

it took me about 3 hours to write this, please do not delete my thread .

First of all, i'm brazilian and i'm feeling so alone when it comes to mdma abuse discussion. There are no forums or any other place i can have a conversation about what happened to me in my language. Luckely i know a little english but i'm pretty sure that incorrect things will be written here, but please, try to read my story because i have no one to help me in here. I'll try to resume it in every way i can.


So I started doing mdma december 2014. First time i took it was the best day of my life, that happened after the end of a 2 years relationship and i felt like that was exactly what i needed. I don't know what the fuck is happening with my country but in here it seems to be normal to take 2, 3 pills at night, everyone talks like it was normal (i think the ammount of mdma in a brazilian pill is a little less than in other countries, so the second time i took 2 pills, just 2 weekends after first time. my eyes turned, i was really drugged but i was cool. i Started to take ecstasy every three weeks, but when it came fifth time it became clear that the same dose had no effect anymore.


Well i kept taking it, never more than 2 pills. I reduced the frequency of use to once in a month and the quantity too, sometimes i just needed 1 pill and partied whole night. my count is approximately 26 pills from december to July. Let's disconsider 6 of them that was probably fake or very very weak; the beginning of my downfall was on July 13. I went to a electronic music party and bought 4 pills to take there. I took the first pill at 9 p.m., before even getting into the party. I did not felt even close to 1/10 of the feeling I had the first i did E, but i felt the effects of mdma. After an hour I took another one, felt the music but i was still i little tired, looked like it was pretty weak pills. I took one every hour but still have not had a satisfactory effect. I really don't know if those were weak pills or not, it gives me a little hope to think they were, so i actually didnt had an enormous quantity in that night. Not satisfied, bought two more pills from random guys and took then both. Now yes! I felt the vibe, it was awesome. I've read many stories in this forum, and I know most of you use to buy the drugs before going to the parties, but I'm almost 100% sure it was real ecstasy. There could be other substances together but I think the problem I had was caused by MDMA.

So, just recapping, i took 6 pills of E from 9 p.m. to approximately 4 a.m. I really think the first 4 pills were weak, from all i learned reading in here and with previous experiences i would guess 40 ~ 60 mg of mdma maximum in each of. the other two was pretty powerful, like 60 ~ 100, i couldn't know. Well, with that 6 pills i felt a bit like the second time I took E in my life.

Next day i'm feeling fine, i could talk normally to my parents in the morning even still being very high. Spent all day smoking weed. Go to sleep normally, i think.

Another day goes and after smoking a joint, I was sitting on the couch and my body started shaking a lot from nothing, it was shaking A LOT. I began to think i was gone mad. I began to feel I was floating. I obviously had a panic attack. I called one thing to another. Realized that my vision was grainy and I could see a lot of floaters when scaring light. The next week was horrible, I thought I had lost my mind and would never recover. I went into a deep depression and could only feel better when sleeping. Never had any visions with eyes closed. I decided to forget about it and after a week I began to improve and get used to the snow vision, and with time i forgot about what happened. I was living a practically normal life, working, going to college. Noticed a decrease in my libido, and still had a lot of anxiety, but it was something that i could live with.

An important fact : during this time I was feeling good , I've never done any research here in Bluelight , I preferred to abstain from any information and it made me forget a little. This leads me to believe that many of us may have created adictional problems just for beeing constantly searching about it .

I noticed i could not smoke pot anymore (damn, i miss getting high). Every time I smoked my anxiety increased so much and I had another panic attack. Stopped smoking weed and started to drink a lot more. Noticed that when I drank, I would wake up with anxiety the next day, and if not controlled had another panic attack. 2 months later I started having insomnia. I was wakin up 3-4 times a night and could not sleep again. I got to wake up seven times in one night. I continued living normally, even bothered with insomnia. I stopped drinking coffee. My work performance was good, socially also had no problems.

But about 2 weekends ago, when everything seemed to be normal again, disregarding anxiety, and insomnia, I woke up with my heart racing. I had a panic attack and went into a depression only thinking that night messed my neuro system. I researched a lot about neuro system damage with ecstasy and we all know by the facts that it happened to me. I now know a lot about low production of serotonin. I wanted to know from you guys experience whether ecstasy causes low production of serotonin or damages to the serotonin receptors, do any of you know? I believe that a good night's sleep would help but there's been two months that I can't sleep more than 4 hours straight.


Do any of you identify with my story?

I went to a psychiatrist and he prescribed me Paroxetine, but I didnt take it, read that one of the most common side effects are insomnia and very real nightmares. (lol)

I scheduled another psychiatrist and a neurologist to have second opinions.

I tried exercising 1 night, but that didn't helped me to sleep a all, it was worse because I was more tired and had insomnia the same way. Do i need to keep exercising?

My biggest concerns are:

I'm Having a lot of Difficulty to concentrate. My memory is a crap, I do not know if it's because of the anxiety, insomnia, or due to the damage caused by mdma. Can i get better? Based on my history that could be a permanent damage?

Right now i just needed a good night of natural sleep, can someone give me any tips about it?

My libido is low and I'm having erectile difficulties, even with viagra, had premature ejaculation. This may be due to anxiety or permanent damage caused by ecstasy? How can I improve? 5 HTP would help with isomnia and sexual problems?

The funny thing is that, three weeks ago I had relations with my girlfriend and I did pretty well, after the anxiety attack i'm not being able even to fap. I Can force a erection but the muscle below my scrotum (i don't know how you say it haha) hurts a little. Sometimes, only by thinking about sex it starts to hurt.I feel my heart beating fast pretty much all day, and when I go to sleep I feel very strong pulse and heartbeating fast. I feel my pulse beating very strongly sometimes in the head and other parts of the body. Besides waking up several times during the night feeling my heart pounding. I'm afraid of having a heart attack. My heart is racing all day, my legs are shaking all day. How can get better of this?

Depression is gone because I accepted my condition, but also do not feel mood for anything, I've wasted my life, I always considered myself a very intelligent guy and now I can't even focus right. I'm afraid of losing my job, had already quit college.

I can say I'm 85% better than the first week in August (i would say i was 95% before two weeks ago) but need to know if there still hope to stop the ansiety without meds, and principally, recover my libido and sexual function (believe me, that's what worries me the most).

if you've read this far, even with the bad writing, I sincerely thank you, seriously. I appreciate the attention.

Plus: i used to have a sincere love for nature, used to admire trees, rivers, birds, and i dont feel it anymore. I don't love anyone. This apathy must be irreversible, right?

 

[Brahhhh]

Well first of all, you're not permanently damaged. What happened is that your brain chemistry is confused, it's not balanced anymore because of the MDMA, weed, panic attacks and the consequences of that, because you think differently. For sleep I would advise to get a busy day, work out, no electronics 2 hours before you sleep, and be tired. So wake up at 8 am and get a busy day, try to sleep at 2 am or something. I had trouble sleeping for about a half year, now it's perfectly fine again. I took about the same amount of mdma, like 25 pills in 8 months. My libido is also recovered, it seems to be the same for my sleep, when i couldnt sleep my libido was also bad, probably because a brain chemical is responsible for that stuff. I would also advice, don't smoke weed for a long time, when I smoked weed, everytime i got anxiety. Now I'm almost recovered but when I smoke weed again anxiety, can't enjoy it anymore. Your recovery probably needs some time, like 6 months or so, maybe longer, maybe shorter, atm I'm in 15 months now.. But I have a different story. Also your english is fine, had no trouble reading.

 

[Budal202]

Well first of all, you're not permanently damaged. What happened is that your brain chemistry is confused, it's not balanced anymore because of the MDMA, weed, panic attacks and the consequences of that, because you think differently. For sleep I would advise to get a busy day, work out, no electronics 2 hours before you sleep, and be tired. So wake up at 8 am and get a busy day, try to sleep at 2 am or something. I had trouble sleeping for about a half year, now it's perfectly fine again. I took about the same amount of mdma, like 25 pills in 8 months. My libido is also recovered, it seems to be the same for my sleep, when i couldnt sleep my libido was also bad, probably because a brain chemical is responsible for that stuff. I would also advice, don't smoke weed for a long time, when I smoked weed, everytime i got anxiety. Now I'm almost recovered but when I smoke weed again anxiety, can't enjoy it anymore. Your recovery probably needs some time, like 6 months or so, maybe longer, maybe shorter, atm I'm in 15 months now.. But I have a different story. Also your english is fine, had no trouble reading.

Thanks for the answer. It seems we have somethings in common. It makes me really happy to know that you're getting better.


The same thing happen to me everytime i smoke weed, so i stopped 34 days ago.


Stopped every kind of drug, even caffeine, except ocasional alcohol.


I just wanted to know if there is any supplement or substance i could use to help to sleep.


Heard that tryptofan helps a lot.

 

[Brahhhh]

Thanks for the answer. It seems we have somethings in common. It makes me really happy to know that you're getting better.


The same thing happen to me everytime i smoke weed, so i stopped 34 days ago.


Stopped every kind of drug, even caffeine, except ocasional alcohol.


I just wanted to know if there is any supplement or substance i could use to help to sleep.


Heard that tryptofan helps a lot.

Good to hear, any kind of substance that brings your brain chemistry out of balance should be avoided. This also includes alcohol, although, I do take 2-3 beer sometimes. That should be okay. But like 10 beers is definetly not okay.

I did use L-tryptofan for 2 weeks, but it made me sleep worse and once it even gave me a brain zap, then I quit immediatly. But maybe it works for you idk. I think it did help to let me fall asleep, but then I woke up after 15 mins again. So didnt work.

I think what works the best is the normal things, regular sleep patterns, ENOUGH sleep, although its hard, its very important. Work out, 5 times a week, have people around you who support you, do things you like, for instance gaming, to get your mind off the bad stuff. And last of all time is the heal for most wounds. And ofcourse the way how you stand in it, if youre like shit omg what have i done thats not making it better. Positive thinking.

 

[Budal202]

Good to hear, any kind of substance that brings your brain chemistry out of balance should be avoided. This also includes alcohol, although, I do take 2-3 beer sometimes. That should be okay. But like 10 beers is definetly not okay.

I did use L-tryptofan for 2 weeks, but it made me sleep worse and once it even gave me a brain zap, then I quit immediatly. But maybe it works for you idk. I think it did help to let me fall asleep, but then I woke up after 15 mins again. So didnt work.

I think what works the best is the normal things, regular sleep patterns, ENOUGH sleep, although its hard, its very important. Work out, 5 times a week, have people around you who support you, do things you like, for instance gaming, to get your mind off the bad stuff. And last of all time is the heal for most wounds. And ofcourse the way how you stand in it, if youre like shit omg what have i done thats not making it better. Positive thinking.

Thanks man,

 

[Brahhhh]

Thanks man,

You're welcome. If you have any more questions feel free to ask them. I have 15 months of experience, and I know my body pretty well.

 

[LittleCrazy]

I posted the following on another thread: Hope it can help you. Good Luck mate.
Let me begin with some details about myself. I am a 27 year old male, career-oriented pharmacist. This story is my road to recovery, mental and physical…always healing one step at a go. I never believed in writing, however reading a lot online has made me realise that this post may save one life, give that life hope, reading this may help those who feel hopeless. It surely helped me. A large part of my road to recovery was through positive posts that people posted online. Trust me, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I promise, that this cliché line is actually true.

I’ve always been that party guy, went to uni till the age of 22, partied away. Alcohol and Marijuana was my medicine. Getting wasted and high was a 4-day week ritual. I moved back home after uni, where my alcohol consumption dramatically decreased, because my new toxin was weed. Oh how I loved it, never understood those who hated it. Smoking a blunt was a daily occurrence, working sober during the day, and post-work highness and binging on food. This went on for a good 2-3 years.

Note that I still had never done drugs to this date. Then came September 2014. I was at a house party, got quite tipsy. Went out to a night club after that, and one of my friends gave me a very tiny ecstasy pill. I swallowed half. Felt nothing. Thought it was just activated charcoal or a filler or something similar. So I decided to have another quarter. Still nothing. Note that all my other friends were rolling at this point and were dancing their night away. I was simply standing in the corner watching them as I was talking to another friend who doesn’t roll. Then it hit me. It was like a wave hit my head. At first I got worried and anxious, never felt anything strange like that before. My friend took me out to calm down. Then the music hit me. I had never felt so amazing in my life. I was blending in with the music, loved everyone around me. Oh I was rolling hard.

Next day went by, no come down, no suicide Tuesday as my friends call it. I even had an amazing afterglow for months after. Life was amazing, I looked at the whole world in a much more positive manner. Grass looked greener. Everything looked beautiful. So I decided to have my next roll in December 2015 for new years. I rolled hard again at a pool and beach party the day before new years, and again on new years night. Both nights were amazing. 1 pill on the first night and one MDMA capsule in water on new years night. Rolls on the successive nights were getting better and better. This was an amazing drug. Alcohol is a loser clearly. Again no come down, no suicide Tuesday, no depression, nothing! This drug was amazing! I could dance for hours, as long as I kept rehydrated etc. I rolled two times again after that. Once in February 2015 for my birthday and then in March 2015 for a house party. So basically, I was averaging a roll a month, if not longer. Everything was going perfect. Life was looking better and the afterglow was getting better. And clearly, smoking weed was helping the comedowns such that I didn’t even feel any.

Then at the end of March, I was smoking a joint at one of my friend’s house, and did ONE line of cocaine. Chilling, enjoying the moment, when suddenly I got a Panic Attack. My first one ever. It was the worst thing ever. It was a MASSIVE Panic Attack. Shortness of breath, hyperventilation, could not breathe, heart was pounding, I was thinking it was a heart attack and thought the cocaine had damaged my heart. I literally thought I was going to die. Pacing back and forth. Did not sleep the whole night, Panic Attacks were coming and going in waves, with extreme Anxiety in between. I did not know what was happening. I thought I had damaged myself. That was the last time I had ever done any toxin for a long time.

From this day I experienced daily shortness of breath for months, despite stopping all caffeine (coffee & tea), alcohol, cigarettes, sheesha, weed, drugs. I stopped everything. I felt like my condition was getting worse. A lot of anxiety. Frequent Panic Attacks. Depression. I felt like there was nothing worth living for, I was single, life was pathetic, what is the point of living like this. Will I ever recover. It is my fault for my stupidity. And none of my friends around me seemed to care, since this had not happened to any of them. Am I weak. Why is this only happening to me. I have ruined my life, my career, probably upset my Mum, who I am extremely close to. Started to lose majority of my friends who were in this drug binge, and clearly since I wasn’t doing any of that, they would not chill with me. The depression, anxiety, panic was taking over my life. Suicide was the only way out. Only thing that helped me not commit suicide is that it is against my religion.

I have always had OCD but to manageable levels, and now the OCD was getting unbearable. Social Anxiety went to the level where I couldn’t even have small meetings or hold a presentation at work without getting a severe Panic Attack and excusing myself from conducting them. And before this I was amazing at them. I used to be so brave and courageous. General Anxiety was taking over my life, which was leading to Agoraphobia. I just did not want to leave the house. Stopped talking to ALL my friends. These Panic Attacks would come and go in waves, especially when I first wake up in the morning, then in the afternoon and one at night, daily. Chest tightness, feelings of depersonalisation and derealisation was overshadowing my daily living. This shortness of breath continuously was killing me. My OCD was getting so bad, that I thought I had HIV, I thought I had Cancer, I thought I had brain lesions. Went for various tests. Spent so much money on these tests. I thought I had Schizophrenia, then Pyschosis, that I was going mental. Being in the medical profession made it worse. I thought I had everything. I live in Africa, and the sight of any disorganisation and dirtiness would send my brain spiralling out of stock. I was constantly restless and agitated. What had I done to myself. I did not even want to wake up in the morning. Just hope I would sleep and not wake up. I was a slave to my own mind.

I decided to go and see a doctor and psychologist, a month after my first panic attack, and that was around April 2015. The doctor said I suffer with Anxiety, Panic Disorder, Depression (I cried to the doctor like a small baby) and OCD. I was put on Benzos and Anti-depressants (Xanax & Prozac to be specific). But being a pharmacist, I knew about the adverse effects of these medications. The withdrawals associated with them. I messed myself with one drug, I didn’t want to mess myself up with other drugs. My anxiety was making me extremely anxious about medication itself. I stopped seeing the doctor. Stopped all medication, because I was getting worse.

But I promise, it gets better. Day after day, it gets better. It gets better in waves. I altered my lifestyle completely from April 2015 to date. I didn’t know I had so much will power, but I do. Months have gone by, I exercise very regularly. Ingest very little toxin, whatsoever (started drinking only a month ago, which I still do not enjoy as I get panic attacks when I drink). I started to meditate, pray, I am not back to 100% of my old self. Maybe 60-70%, but this is a far progress from where I have come from. I promise it gets better guys. Exercise. I cannot over emphasise on that. It helps so much. Positive thinking. It is so difficult but it helps. Multivitamins. Omega-3 Capsules. More exercise, going for nature runs in the forest, working out, yoga, playing squash.

And the best of all, I fell in love with someone who loves my condition alongside with me. I understand not many of you may be in this position, but I am just sharing so you know what has helped me. Initial reaction is to push everyone away. That is wrong. My mum and my second half have been by pillar through this tough time. You need comfort. I still get those days where I feel extremely anxious, extreme shortness of breath, negative thinking, depressed, panicky, or a mixture. But you know what, it is not forever. It is temporary and will go away. I have learnt to embrace my mental conditions. I have become a much better person. More caring and loving. This all was a blessing in disguise. Everyone has a wake up call sometime in their lives. This was mine. I have come to love my anxiety. I embrace it. And it is getting better, although in waves, there is an upward trend to recovery. I have learnt to have a few friends who are actually there for me and who will be there in sickness & in health, rather than having a gazillion fake friends, who are there just to party and blow money and show off.

I thought that posting my experience will help those who are on their road to recovery. I do not regret my past. I enjoyed. It is out of my system. I can focus on my life and my career now.

I promise, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I promise guys. Hang in there.

 

[LittleCrazy]

Additional to my post above...
Get enough sleep (i sleep on average 8-9 hours a night...sleep by 10 and wake up by 7-730)
I can't smoke weed at all. Even when people smoke around me and if i breathe second hand smoke i get anxiety & panic attacks.

 

[Cotcha Yankinov]

Hi there, I think the insomnia is the most important thing to fix, once you fix your sleep your system will repair itself. Cardio early in the day does help some people, I can definitely recommend mindfulness meditation, especially meditating on the breath. I wouldn't worry about permanent damage to your serotonergic system, the effects of chronic sleep deprivation are probably much more important. If you are having pelvic floor pain (which it definitely sounds like) then pelvic floor exercises might help you, they are also known as keigels. You basically act like you are trying to hold in your poop and pee and pull up your scrotum while sucking in your stomache for 5 seconds and then completely relax for 10 seconds, you can do this many times throughout the day and if you notice you are more sore or having problems the day after doing these exercises a lot then I think they will be even more important. The relaxing for 10 seconds part is very important and maybe mostly what you need, you might have too much pelvic floor tension, but there is a chance you also have a weak pelvic floor and need to tone it up. But unfortunately most of your growth hormone is released during sleep and you do most of your bodily repair during sleep, so to benefit from the exercising and cardio it's important to sleep well. Let's talk about sleep.

There are many medications used for sleep but I really recommend ones that work by antagonizing a kind of serotonin known as 5-HT2A, such as Trazadone (can cause priapism in the morning rarely, this might be of concern but it knocks most people right out) there is also Mirtazapine, and low dose Seroquel which I like myself. Low dose meaning 25mg or so. There are then the GABA drugs such as Lunesta, Ambien, Xanax and such, these are drugs that do work but you don't want to take them for long because they are so addictive. Clonidine is a drug that will help shut down your adrenaline and can help some sleep through this way, but Clonidine can hinder some peoples production of MELATONIN which is very important, so I highly recommend taking extended release melatonin with it. I highly recommend trying extended release melatonin anyways in your situation, you can sure try 5-HTP (it is the precursor to serotonin and your brain can have trouble making serotonin for a while after taking MDMA) but it can cause restlessness and such in some few people, it makes some people sleepy though. But I would try melatonin first. Normally your brain makes melatonin out of serotonin.

So basically I think a lot of your problems are related to sleep deprivation and you should do whatever you can to fix your sleep (while being careful not to get addicted to benzos and such) but if melatonin and 5-HTP don't help a medication such as low dose Seroquel or Clonidine with melatonin will be worth looking into. I wouldn't bother taking L-tryptophan, your body normally takes L tryptophan from your diet and makes 5-HtP and then serotonin out of 5-HTP, but after MDMA your body has a hard time making 5-HTP from tryptophan so that's why it can help to just take straight 5-HTP. I would try 100mg twice a day of 5-HTP, although unfortunately it's not absorbed in the brain very well, to increase its absorption you can take it with a substance called ECGC that will make the 5-HTP last longer in your bloodstream (and therefore make it more likely some of it will make it to your brain.

Exercising EARLY in the day is very important, 30 minutes of cardio would be fantastic and will very likely help you with your pelvic problems and sexual problems. Mindfulness meditation to wind down will definitely help, the goal is to shut off your thoughts and the voice in your head. 5-HTP might help your serotonin and melatonin might help you sleep. I would advise complete sobriety aside from looking into a sleep medication such as Mirtazapine. And yes SSRIs do usually cause insomnia, I would stay away from them. I realize antagonizing (shutting down) serotonin seems dumb but 5-HT2A is essentially a "bad" kind of serotonin that keeps you awake, I would see if Mirtazapine helps you sleep. Your problem (though counter intuitive) might be too much of one kind of serotonin (because you might lack serotonin reuptake transporters to clear serotonin from the 5-HT2A's synapses, which an SSRI would just make worse).

Although there are adverse effects like anxiety sometimes reported with 5-HTP, Melatonin is safe to take and I would try this first, along with early morning exercise. If your sleep problems persist I would think about a sleep study or at least figuring out if you snore or not. Snoring is a sign of sleep apnea and you might very well have sleep apnea.. Serotonin regulated your paralysis during sleep. That's actually why Mirtazapine is being investigated to treat obstructive sleep apnea. I would be wary of sleep apnea, skinny young people do have it frequently (I do myself) and there is actually a correlation between MDMA use and sleep apnea, I mean to say that MDMA appears to cause obstructive sleep apnea, and the more severe the MDMA abuse is the more severe the sleep apnea is. It is very common for people with sleep apnea to have frequent awakenings. So a sleep study is in order if your sleep problems persist.

Best of luck, any questions are welcome. Many people have been where you are or have been much worse (Personally I abused the shit out of ecstasy and took hundreds of pills when I was 14-15 and I never thought I was going to get better) but we have gotten better, it just takes time and sleep, though there are things that might speed along your recovery, I certainly wish I could go back in time and tell myself to start exercising and meditating sooner. Take care of yourself

 

[Budal202]

Additional to my post above...
Get enough sleep (i sleep on average 8-9 hours a night...sleep by 10 and wake up by 7-730)
I can't smoke weed at all. Even when people smoke around me and if i breathe second hand smoke i get anxiety & panic attacks.

Thank you, friend. I had read your story before in another thread. It is really inspiring. However I believe you didn't abuse that much, and in the case of MDMA abuse you are lucky, because this amount will probably not cause any permanent damage, it may only have triggered one thing, which led to another. I'm sure you will recover 100%.


My case is a bit more complicated as I did many doses and high doses of MDMA in a short period of time.


Anyway I am very happy for your recovery, I hope one day you look back laugh about all this.

Take care!

 

[Budal202]

Hi there, I think the insomnia is the most important thing to fix, once you fix your sleep your system will repair itself. Cardio early in the day does help some people, I can definitely recommend mindfulness meditation, especially meditating on the breath. I wouldn't worry about permanent damage to your serotonergic system, the effects of chronic sleep deprivation are probably much more important. If you are having pelvic floor pain (which it definitely sounds like) then pelvic floor exercises might help you, they are also known as keigels. You basically act like you are trying to hold in your poop and pee and pull up your scrotum while sucking in your stomache for 5 seconds and then completely relax for 10 seconds, you can do this many times throughout the day and if you notice you are more sore or having problems the day after doing these exercises a lot then I think they will be even more important. The relaxing for 10 seconds part is very important and maybe mostly what you need, you might have too much pelvic floor tension, but there is a chance you also have a weak pelvic floor and need to tone it up. But unfortunately most of your growth hormone is released during sleep and you do most of your bodily repair during sleep, so to benefit from the exercising and cardio it's important to sleep well. Let's talk about sleep.

There are many medications used for sleep but I really recommend ones that work by antagonizing a kind of serotonin known as 5-HT2A, such as Trazadone (can cause priapism in the morning rarely, this might be of concern but it knocks most people right out) there is also Mirtazapine, and low dose Seroquel which I like myself. Low dose meaning 25mg or so. There are then the GABA drugs such as Lunesta, Ambien, Xanax and such, these are drugs that do work but you don't want to take them for long because they are so addictive. Clonidine is a drug that will help shut down your adrenaline and can help some sleep through this way, but Clonidine can hinder some peoples production of MELATONIN which is very important, so I highly recommend taking extended release melatonin with it. I highly recommend trying extended release melatonin anyways in your situation, you can sure try 5-HTP (it is the precursor to serotonin and your brain can have trouble making serotonin for a while after taking MDMA) but it can cause restlessness and such in some few people, it makes some people sleepy though. But I would try melatonin first. Normally your brain makes melatonin out of serotonin.

So basically I think a lot of your problems are related to sleep deprivation and you should do whatever you can to fix your sleep (while being careful not to get addicted to benzos and such) but if melatonin and 5-HTP don't help a medication such as low dose Seroquel or Clonidine with melatonin will be worth looking into. I wouldn't bother taking L-tryptophan, your body normally takes L tryptophan from your diet and makes 5-HtP and then serotonin out of 5-HTP, but after MDMA your body has a hard time making 5-HTP from tryptophan so that's why it can help to just take straight 5-HTP. I would try 100mg twice a day of 5-HTP, although unfortunately it's not absorbed in the brain very well, to increase its absorption you can take it with a substance called ECGC that will make the 5-HTP last longer in your bloodstream (and therefore make it more likely some of it will make it to your brain.

Exercising EARLY in the day is very important, 30 minutes of cardio would be fantastic and will very likely help you with your pelvic problems and sexual problems. Mindfulness meditation to wind down will definitely help, the goal is to shut off your thoughts and the voice in your head. 5-HTP might help your serotonin and melatonin might help you sleep. I would advise complete sobriety aside from looking into a sleep medication such as Mirtazapine. And yes SSRIs do usually cause insomnia, I would stay away from them. I realize antagonizing (shutting down) serotonin seems dumb but 5-HT2A is essentially a "bad" kind of serotonin that keeps you awake, I would see if Mirtazapine helps you sleep. Your problem (though counter intuitive) might be too much of one kind of serotonin (because you might lack serotonin reuptake transporters to clear serotonin from the 5-HT2A's synapses, which an SSRI would just make worse).

Although there are adverse effects like anxiety sometimes reported with 5-HTP, Melatonin is safe to take and I would try this first, along with early morning exercise. If your sleep problems persist I would think about a sleep study or at least figuring out if you snore or not. Snoring is a sign of sleep apnea and you might very well have sleep apnea.. Serotonin regulated your paralysis during sleep. That's actually why Mirtazapine is being investigated to treat obstructive sleep apnea. I would be wary of sleep apnea, skinny young people do have it frequently (I do myself) and there is actually a correlation between MDMA use and sleep apnea, I mean to say that MDMA appears to cause obstructive sleep apnea, and the more severe the MDMA abuse is the more severe the sleep apnea is. It is very common for people with sleep apnea to have frequent awakenings. So a sleep study is in order if your sleep problems persist.

Best of luck, any questions are welcome. Many people have been where you are or have been much worse (Personally I abused the shit out of ecstasy and took hundreds of pills when I was 14-15 and I never thought I was going to get better) but we have gotten better, it just takes time and sleep, though there are things that might speed along your recovery, I certainly wish I could go back in time and tell myself to start exercising and meditating sooner. Take care of yourself

This is the 6th time I'm reading your post. I don't really know what to say.


Yesterday when I got home from the gym (my first day of training), I arrived exhausted after another sleepless night and an extremely hard day, and I thought, I'll see if someone posted anything.


When I read what you wrote, all the advice, how much you dedicated to give me all this information, I realized that there is still love, and i felt it.


Seriously, everything you said is extremely valid. I already bought a pot of melatonin after reading it, did the research and is known as the best natural substance to aid sleep. Even the problem of pelvis you were you able to identify and help me. Are you a doctor? If not, you could be.


As you said, I'll do a test with melotonina to see if i can have a proper night, and if i do, I'll post if the other symptoms get better.


if symptoms of insomnia begin to improve, but the other don't, I will test the 5-HTP along with EGCG.


I will also start with cardio in the morning from tomorrow (it will not be very difficult to wake up, if know what i mean)


I've been trying to meditate but it is very difficult because I keep listening to my heartbeat and I can't ignore it, but I'll keep trying, I think it is not very easy right?


Tomorrow I'm going to see a neurologist and I will talk to him about Mirtazapine (here in Brazil we need a medical authorization to buy these kind of drugs)


Apnea may be considered too, I use nasal decongestants regularly because I can't breathe properly due to a deviated septum, perhaps all this is connected some way.


At the moment I feel like the protagonist of "Fight Club". These sleepless nights are driving me a little crazy and I'm starting to get used to it, but your advices will surely help me. Certainly.


Again, I immensely thank you, I hope that the universe can find a way to reward you, and from now on I will follow the posts of the forum and try to help everyone who are going through something like it, because you inspired me to.


Have a great week. ♥

 

[Cotcha Yankinov]

I hope you can keep trying at the meditation, it can help to set aside 15 minutes just before bedtime and get into a routine. My advice is to focus on the way your breathing feels, every time a thought comes into your mind return your attention to your breath The harder it is to shut off your thoughts the more you need meditation, and the same with cardio, the harder it is, the more you need it and more you will benefit in the long run. This and exercise along with possibly melatonin and Mirtazapine can help your falling asleep, but obstructive sleep apnea is a matter I'm concerned about with you.

I really think there's a really good chance you have sleep apnea. It is VERY common with deviated septums to instead of breath through the nose at night to snore through the mouth. I had sleep apnea when I was younger and it affected my sleep severely, typically I would find myself waking up constantly, especially laying on my back (your throat doesn't collapse as much if you sleep on your side). My septum turned out to be really deviated and such but when my septum was fixed a later sleep study showed my sleep apnea was cured. The doctor who did my surgery said this is very common, curing the deviated septum cures the sleep apnea, and I have heard other stories of this as well. Once you are a bit stronger (maybe a couple months out?) I would really think about solving the deviated septum/sleep apnea. You could have a sleep study done first (neurologist should be able to prescribe one) to see how you are doing before you go through with the surgery of course. But it seems MDMA causes/worsens obstructive sleep apnea and deviated septums cause sleep apnea as well, and your report of waking up many times and your symptoms match with it as well.

Every time you go into brain repairing REM sleep your throat collapses and you stop breathing, then you consciously wake up a little bit and get pulled out of REM sleep. This is absolutely horrible for your long term health. The problem lots of time is not the throat but the nose.

I actually fucking love fight club because I relate to the insomnia as well... My sleep problems still persist (have had some since I was born) but I'm not skipping days anymore or only sleeping 1-2 hours. Unfortunately sleep deprivation leads to losing your mind and then that makes it harder to sleep, but once you start sleeping well enough your brain will fix itself and will be able to sleep better without medication. Melatonin isn't very strong but it's something that should be at least tried, many MDMA users report it has helped them. Mirtazapine helped me a lot at the lower doses 15-30mg, only take 15mg or less if you can get away with it, especially if you won't be able to fix your septum for a while and need to ride it out on sleep meds.

Best of luck to you, let us know how you are doing and if you have any questions it gets better Keep exercising and meditating on the breath! Lay on the floor and relax every muscle and area of your body one by one as you stare into your eyelids.

 

[Magicmonk]

Come downs feel like everyone you love has just died, I had a horrible come down off of 7 pill green Dom Perignons in one night, that come down was so savage I went on a long run forced vitamins fruits vegetables down me and drank lots of water consistently it felt like I was truly losing myself but it gets better I didn't have an anxiety attack however I did on 800uG of LSD which im almost recovered from fully I can still do everything fine but when I think of the moment I still feel very uneasy that was in July. It will get better your chemistry is just a little
Fucked up good luck to you!

 

[FuckWithRaw]

Great posts CY!

Come downs feel like everyone you love has just died, I had a horrible come down off of 7 pill green Dom Perignons in one night, that come down was so savage I went on a long run forced vitamins fruits vegetables down me and drank lots of water consistently it felt like I was truly losing myself but it gets better I didn't have an anxiety attack however I did on 800uG of LSD which im almost recovered from fully I can still do everything fine but when I think of the moment I still feel very uneasy that was in July. It will get better your chemistry is just a little
Fucked up good luck to you!

Those doses are ridiculous man might want to take it easy...

 

[naima]

Hi!
I've been reading this forum since spring, but never wrote here. I saw your post and thought that maybe i can help you with some advices, so i've decided to write my first post here. English is not my native language too, so sorry for mistakes
First of all, a little bit information about myself. I'm 27, live in Russia. I think we here have similar problem with irresponsible drug using among people because of problems with getting information about drugs. So people use MDMA a lot (and mix it with anything - alcohol, cocain, amphetamine, etc.), i've been using MDMA with my husband for almost every weekend for about half of the year. Our condition at the end of it all wasn't good, believe me. But we are ok now.
You must understand that your brain will fix itself, it just needs some help, but everything will be fine. The first thing you need to normalize is your sleep - you fix it, everything will start to get better faster. You can take melatonin before sleep, it will make your sleep deeper. Also it is good to walk about 30-40 at the evening. Do not use any devices (phone, tablet, PC) before sleep - blue light from them worries nervous system and you can't get sleep. Read book instead or listen to your favorite music. Don't drink alcohol, many people think that if you drink enough you can get sleep. But it doesn't work like that, your sleep after alcohol is usually discontinuous and not deep.
I don't know if it's true, but i've read that some products can help restore serotonin levels, such as bananas, cashew, etc. You can try them, why not?
It worked for us after bad MDMA and amphetamine using. I believe that you will get back to normal life and everything will be fine with you! Get better!

 

[Magicmonk]

They were mad man it damn it was lovely I've knocked it down now mdma use is to once a month minimum
But doses still pretty high I dont think il be doing that again haha the LSD was crazy also but was manageable. The largest was 1.2g of mdma in a pint of coke and necked it that was insane absolute madness rolling was an understatement but I know come downs are different for everyone but vitamins and exercise really helped me
Through it eating and being around positive people!