LSD and Disassociate Identity Disorder?

[Blotter Bro]

Hello all. I have been using LSD for about a year and a half, increasing in frequency as I delve further into the world of LSD. It's gotten to the point where I dose every 3 days if possible, usually above 400 micro grams but never above 1000. I guess I've had a rather strange life and have done a fair amount of research on LSD and mental illnesses, and have begun to believe I have Disassociative Identity Disorder (Multi-personality disorder). I don't have a family history involving mental illness, but have had conflicting views and standpoints exaggerated by LSD as use has continued. I have read that DID is most often linked to trauma, which I can't seem to remember any trauma and was raised relatively right by a single mother. But psychedelic use, even pot, brings me to this weird familiar head place consisting of strange patterns and objects that remind me of my childhood, though I never get answers of any sort, just a sense of repelling fear that is oh so weird. No one has come to me regarding my behavior, but my mind continues to ail me with conflicting views on life and myself that vary with circumstances. I just wants to know if any other people have any insight on this as to if I might be mentally ill, or are psyching myself out, or just needs to lay of the lucy a little. Thanks.

 

[Yeetbeat]

Hey mate, welcome to Bluelight!

First off, we don't use terms like 'SWIM' here. It just makes posts more difficult to read, and ultimately doesn't offer much protection beyond "HEY I MIGHT'VE DONE THIS BUT I'M NOT TECHNICALLY ADMITTING I DID!!" haha.

My initial thoughts are that you're definitely tripping too frequently. The general rule of thumb is a 2 week break, mostly for tolerance reasons but also because tripping too frequently can bring about undesired ongoing negative effects like DP/DR (depersonalisation/derealisation) or HPPD (Hallucinogen Persisting Perception Disorder). Not necessarily saying you have either of these, that's up to someone more experienced to chime in with their thoughts

 

[Blotter Bro]

Thanks! Do you have any other suggestions other than swim, that one could use then?

 

[Pibolar]

"I" usually works.

 

[HeadphonesandLSD]

Take a break from everything for awhile including the weed. Constant tripping will play all kinds of tricks on you, best not to worry about your mental state unless you've been sober for some time.

Note that it will take a long time to feel somewhat normal again after your use pattern. I went heavy on things two summers ago and I still don't feel 100% right but I'm miles away from where I was in the mists of my heavy use.

 

[Storms]

Lay off the LSD for sure, I'd recommend yoga/meditation/reading spiritual texts instead. Your situation sounds a bit like my bf (diagnosed with DID) who did a bunch of LSD every week for a few months before going psychotic (not saying that's going to happen to you!) just saying that a lot of lsd isn't good for your psyche, no matter what you tell yourself.

I have a dissociative disorder as well (most likely depersonalization disorder, but I black out sometimes so who knows, in the process of getting diagnosed) and the more often I trip, the worse it gets, and I start believing weird things that are really not conductive to living life, like being convinced we live in a computer simulation, everyone including me is a biological robot with no free will, foreign entities are controlling my body... may or may not be true, but believing things like this aren't really helpful especially when it comes to social skills lol.

You haven't really given much information, but if you genuinely think you might have a mental illness then try to see a psychologist. Humans naturally have an ability to hold conflicting views in their minds simultaneously (see compartmentalization). It becomes DID when the different self states start dissociating and you either black out in different states or you depersonalize heavily and feel like you're acting or someone else is controlling your actions. If either of these happen to you, then you might have DID or another dissociative disorder, if not, you're probs just psyching yourself out Anyways best of luck with everything, and lay off the drugs lol

 

[satanz_benzo]

Yeah lay off all substances for a while, I got derealisation five years ago and it comes and goes still. Pot and mushrooms are the worst for it in my opinion everyones different though. I would trip on mushys every there or four days and it really messed my life up. Most I took was ten grams of dried with a huge amount of dope. Although I did take 30g of magic mushy truffles in Amsterdam with having taking ecstasy every day for a week, wandered all night through the vondel Park in Amsterdam. That place is trippy enough sober!

 

[satanz_benzo]

Dope really plays a massive part of depersonalisation as u don't realise how psychedelic it is if u smoke everyday because that feeling becomes normal. Every time I take one puff of weed I think the world is all fake and in my head.

 

[PriestTheyCalledHim]

Take a long break from all drugs including cannabis for at least half a year or even more. Good luck.

 

[Xorkoth]

Hello all. I have been using LSD for about a year and a half, increasing in frequency as I delve further into the world of LSD. It's gotten to the point where I dose every 3 days if possible, usually above 400 micro grams but never above 1000. I guess I've had a rather strange life and have done a fair amount of research on LSD and mental illnesses, and have begun to believe I have Disassociative Identity Disorder (Multi-personality disorder). I don't have a family history involving mental illness, but have had conflicting views and standpoints exaggerated by LSD as use has continued. I have read that DID is most often linked to trauma, which I can't seem to remember any trauma and was raised relatively right by a single mother. But psychedelic use, even pot, brings me to this weird familiar head place consisting of strange patterns and objects that remind me of my childhood, though I never get answers of any sort, just a sense of repelling fear that is oh so weird. No one has come to me regarding my behavior, but my mind continues to ail me with conflicting views on life and myself that vary with circumstances. I just wants to know if any other people have any insight on this as to if I might be mentally ill, or are psyching myself out, or just needs to lay of the lucy a little. Thanks.

I'll echo what others have said... you're tripping too frequently and I would take a break from all drugs (including marijuana, which can really exacerbate some things even worse than psychedelics can). I'm wondering what makes you think you have multiple personality disorder? Do you find yourself having blackouts where people tell you you're acting like someone else or something? What you're describing sounds like depersonalization/derealization. Actually the symbols from childhood, familiar place you describe I used to get all the time from weed, I found it interesting though.

 

[Fresnel]

Take a break from drugs (including weed, it's powerful shit on a vulnerable psyche) and maybe look into whether you did have some very early trauma that you have no memory of. You could have a conversation with your mother, maybe do therapy, all the while being wary of how false memories are a thing people often get/are given when looking into early trauma.

 

[broManDudeGuy]

I had HPPD that lasted for damn near a year. From a lot of LSD over a long period of time. And i was CLEAN from all psychs except ganja during that year

 

[Kethery]

Firstly. LSD is not going to cause DID. LSD isn?t going to bring out anything not there.

My GF & I have both been Dx with DID for over 20 years. We each drop 20 (roughly 3,000) at least weekly if not 2-3 Xs a week. But then we are comfortable with being multiple and more importantly comfortable with each other. I trust her more than I trust myself & vise versa.

I would suggest getting Dx without telling them about the acid. And probably not dosing until you have a handle on being multiple. Low dosing maybe a better option for a time too as psychedelics are very healing for mental disorders such as DID, PTSD, depression, & anxiety.

Just because you as an alter (everyone is an alter, there are no ?originals?) don?t remember abuse doesn?t mean that it didn?t happen. Start a journal &
Make it clear that anyone who wants to write &/or communicate are welcome to do so.

.

 

[Xorkoth]

Fascinating... what is it like having multiple personalities, if you don't mind me asking? Do you remember the experiences of the other(s) as each one, or are the memories closed as each person? How do you deal with that?

 

[Kethery]

When we were younger the walls were thick & we were not aware of the others. When I was 27 the walls started to thin & we started to have more communication. Everyone is still a distinct person but it?s easier to work toward common goals.

 

[alxcapone]

Hello all. I have been using LSD for about a year and a half, increasing in frequency as I delve further into the world of LSD. It's gotten to the point where I dose every 3 days if possible, usually above 400 micro grams but never above 1000. I guess I've had a rather strange life and have done a fair amount of research on LSD and mental illnesses, and have begun to believe I have Disassociative Identity Disorder (Multi-personality disorder). I don't have a family history involving mental illness, but have had conflicting views and standpoints exaggerated by LSD as use has continued. I have read that DID is most often linked to trauma, which I can't seem to remember any trauma and was raised relatively right by a single mother. But psychedelic use, even pot, brings me to this weird familiar head place consisting of strange patterns and objects that remind me of my childhood, though I never get answers of any sort, just a sense of repelling fear that is oh so weird. No one has come to me regarding my behavior, but my mind continues to ail me with conflicting views on life and myself that vary with circumstances. I just wants to know if any other people have any insight on this as to if I might be mentally ill, or are psyching myself out, or just needs to lay of the lucy a little. Thanks.

hey man, I feel like u couldn't have explained my situation any better. I took heavy doses, 3-6 tabs, every weekend and it ended up to be like every other day id take two or three. It made me feel so detached from reality. One time my mom came home and I just felt like a completely different person. I was acting like i was meeting a stranger for the first time. I ran back to my room and sat there and stared at my drapes as they turned into a spiral of geometric shapes and i cried and asked myself who am i, what am i. Metaphorically, i went into lsd with a safety rope around my waist that was tied to the real world, but i lost grip of the rope and lost myself in that process. I had to refind myself, and I had to relearn how to enjoy things and I had to stop looking for happiness and find it in the spontaneous little moments in life that make us smile or appreciate something. Now, i feel like i may be experiencing psychosis, flashbacks and split second hallucinations that i had before, or sometimes new ones. I am an artist, so it gets me curious and I draw what I see, but I just dont know what it means yet. I look back on my old drawing and I know what they mean, so i guess ill wait for these to get old. Anyways, I relate so much to what you said.

 

[awesome31311]

I don't think it can "cause" DID, it can certainly cause you to dissociate or depersonalize at times when coupled with heavy use. This is not the same as DID, because DID implies it's a condition of your brain that cannot be cured. Dissociation from heavy drug use goes away when you stop the drug use and stay sober for a couple of years. The same is true for work as well. and school. You do anything too much, your brain starts taking breaks even when you don't want it to, and you'll be zoning out quite a bit.