skeptictreehugger
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Mar 15, 2018
- Messages
- 7
Hi!
I would like to start a discussion on magic mushrooms and their impact on love life. What can happen if you are in love with a bad person for you and you end up taking a psychedelic.
In a nutshell: I have used shrooms thinking about a person, who was a bad and unhealthy choice for me, but because I was so much in love with him, mushrooms multiplied those feelings and i ended up with ego dissolution and feeling maximum of Love one can possibly feel. Since I broke up with him, I could not feel love again. Also, SSRIs and Abilify are in the game too. This is not some personal rant, it has everything to do with brain chemistry.
Full story im more details:
I specifically want to talk about my experience. You see, there was a guy, with whom I fell in love with on the first sight. The discussions were endless, the spark in his eyes, the electricity i felt in my palms when we touched, his handsomeness, cleverness, tenderness. Yet I felt nothing, when we kissed. But that might be because I suffered from depression back then. But I am digressing.
Because it was my first and last psychedelic experience and I had a bad setting - people I was with were strangers to me, one of them outright unfriendly and I felt like it was becoming a bad trip, therefore I put on some sitar music and thought of him. If you ever read Harry Potter, thinking of him was my version of a Patronus spell. So I ended up having amazing trip seeing universe, the Buddha, boddhisatvas, Jesus and him.
And the love I felt for was multiplied by thousands of times and lead to my ego dissolution in Love. I never felt more calm nor peaceful. And I was not my old self anymore. Yet, he was not a right person for me, he treated me coldly for some reasons. So I ended up breaking up with him a month later. It was the most painful thing I did.
I think that mushrooms amplify everything that is inside you.So I am not saying that my love for him was not real, but I want to say that use of mushrooms was too powerful. I feel like I will never feel such feeling of unlimited love transcending time and space and strong bond like with him anymore. It is because of various factors, mainly because I am on SSRIs (Luvox is a miracle though), and Abilify. I am quitting abilify (i have never been psychotic, it is just adjunct therapy for depression and anxiety). But I cannot do mushrooms anymore, because it is too dangerous for my mental stability and i might end up with psychosis.
But what I wanted to say is, that antipsychotics not only caused me temporary gential anesthesia /which means I cannot feel pleasure in genitals, it affects like 0.2 percent of users/, but I also swear these chemicals cause inability to stay in love. I am a hopeless romantic, but those feelings are only temporary. On one hand, it is a pro, because I use rationality far more, sor I pick better partners and dont fall head over heels. But at the same time, and I guess you probably get it. I AM AFRAID I WILL NEVER FEEL THAT LOVE AGAIN. IN SUCH INTENSITY AND POWER. I burned so much. I burned out. All my capacity to love might be gone. That is what i feel. Anyone here who can advise me or who had similar experience?
Thank you. I only recently realized how powerful it was and how emotionally crippled I am at the moment. Also, this trip and thing with him happened in 2012. So yeah. Ever since, there have been boyfriends, but my affections did not last. I dont know how should i deal with it. I feel like just talk therapy wouldnt suffice, it never helped in any way.
I would like to start a discussion on magic mushrooms and their impact on love life. What can happen if you are in love with a bad person for you and you end up taking a psychedelic.
In a nutshell: I have used shrooms thinking about a person, who was a bad and unhealthy choice for me, but because I was so much in love with him, mushrooms multiplied those feelings and i ended up with ego dissolution and feeling maximum of Love one can possibly feel. Since I broke up with him, I could not feel love again. Also, SSRIs and Abilify are in the game too. This is not some personal rant, it has everything to do with brain chemistry.
Full story im more details:
I specifically want to talk about my experience. You see, there was a guy, with whom I fell in love with on the first sight. The discussions were endless, the spark in his eyes, the electricity i felt in my palms when we touched, his handsomeness, cleverness, tenderness. Yet I felt nothing, when we kissed. But that might be because I suffered from depression back then. But I am digressing.
Because it was my first and last psychedelic experience and I had a bad setting - people I was with were strangers to me, one of them outright unfriendly and I felt like it was becoming a bad trip, therefore I put on some sitar music and thought of him. If you ever read Harry Potter, thinking of him was my version of a Patronus spell. So I ended up having amazing trip seeing universe, the Buddha, boddhisatvas, Jesus and him.
And the love I felt for was multiplied by thousands of times and lead to my ego dissolution in Love. I never felt more calm nor peaceful. And I was not my old self anymore. Yet, he was not a right person for me, he treated me coldly for some reasons. So I ended up breaking up with him a month later. It was the most painful thing I did.
I think that mushrooms amplify everything that is inside you.So I am not saying that my love for him was not real, but I want to say that use of mushrooms was too powerful. I feel like I will never feel such feeling of unlimited love transcending time and space and strong bond like with him anymore. It is because of various factors, mainly because I am on SSRIs (Luvox is a miracle though), and Abilify. I am quitting abilify (i have never been psychotic, it is just adjunct therapy for depression and anxiety). But I cannot do mushrooms anymore, because it is too dangerous for my mental stability and i might end up with psychosis.
But what I wanted to say is, that antipsychotics not only caused me temporary gential anesthesia /which means I cannot feel pleasure in genitals, it affects like 0.2 percent of users/, but I also swear these chemicals cause inability to stay in love. I am a hopeless romantic, but those feelings are only temporary. On one hand, it is a pro, because I use rationality far more, sor I pick better partners and dont fall head over heels. But at the same time, and I guess you probably get it. I AM AFRAID I WILL NEVER FEEL THAT LOVE AGAIN. IN SUCH INTENSITY AND POWER. I burned so much. I burned out. All my capacity to love might be gone. That is what i feel. Anyone here who can advise me or who had similar experience?
Thank you. I only recently realized how powerful it was and how emotionally crippled I am at the moment. Also, this trip and thing with him happened in 2012. So yeah. Ever since, there have been boyfriends, but my affections did not last. I dont know how should i deal with it. I feel like just talk therapy wouldnt suffice, it never helped in any way.
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