Looks like I Land down in the bottom of hell. But by just one pill ?

[dzidektencerz]

Hi, Please help my guys to fugure out what happens to me couse since september last year I'm paranoic of reading, researching and thinking what specially ruined my life.
In the last 3 years I'v benn of combinations of some antidepression drugs.
2013 - citalopram 3 months
2014 - prozac 2 weeks and cital again (2 months)
2015 - mirtapazine just 5 weeks.
Beetwen those drugs it was allways one year gap of treatment, Always after tapering and disconnectong I become hipomanic, beside this I didn't notes any serious side effeckt exept being so happy and full of energy. Unfortunately I seriously crashed on september last year in the same week I stop cold turkey Mirtazapine and went for party and toked pure MDMA which my freand first time in our life. The problem is I dont know what dose it was exactly.. The crystal it was very tiny, something around 300mg. Now I know it was too much. I didn't notes any huge euphoria, rewire for dance, and any stuff like this.. Just a little bit and problems with sleep after party. In the next 3 weeks I become asexual, emotional zombie withoud motivation and desire for life. In oktober when I suffering the most of insomnia after one terrible night of no sleeping people asked me what hapent to me couse I looked like I lost my soul and my face is withoud expression. What else I have is tinnitus in my ears. Cigaretes and coffe dont works on me that much as before. I wake up many this during night but that improve after 4-5 months. Looks like my metabolism has been change. I cant connecting with other people. Sometimes I look at them like for aliens. I dont have desire to see my family and freands any more. All I doing with auotopilot. I dont care about any thinks. I dont feel shame, fear, presure any more. Just completly numb. Sometimes I getting my old felling but only for one second and after that gone like someone cuting wires response for emotions in my fucked up brain. My arms and legs very easy and often getting numb like poor blood circulations. All the time Im lack of energy and so weak. I stop listing music couse is just annoying for me. The same movies. All what I leasing or watching it seems to me stupid. About sexual side.. I could write seperate topics how many dysfunction I get.. What I concerne the most Is real asexuality.
Well as you see gentelmens is after stupid amators decision of taking something with I didnt know even small clod is so strong toxic and dangerous I become allmost vegetable. Well.. actually I dont know. Is that possible ? Since september I'm paranoid and reading stuff every day on antidepression drugs forums, especially PSSD forums. My side effect are very simillar to PSSD victims. I 'been convince I got PSSD syndrome after quit mirtazapine (I lost lipido during 5 weeks treatment) I spoke with others MDMA users, and they fine even after years of using and biger doses. My freand which rolling with me that night is fine as well. I gone see neurologic this month regarding my condidtions. I done blood test and is perfect.
Am so sorry about my english. Please reply me if so drastic demages are possible ? Shall I notes demages directly after that night ? Because in the first 3 weeks after party I was ok..

 

[Londonscouser]

I have read about these sets of symptoms many times. I hope you recover, but i do think it will take months-years...Hopefully it isnt permanent, but yeh i suffer from same thing. Emotional numbness, anhedonia, cant connect to others, apathetic ect ect

How long as it been ? 7 months ?

 

[Neithman]

some people seem to be very sensitive to mdma and will get the life destroying side effects much sooner than other people but its only a matter of time if you do it every few weeks and once it gots you its a long path to recovery
Im still recovering from my past mdma use and it wasnt even that extensive(every 3-4 weeks for about a year)and its 8 months ago since my last dose
Mdma is a hardcore drug not to be underestimated and one has to use it very wisely and cautious but i think its safe to say that taking it once a year is safe because even when you take 3 months brake between doses you will build tolerance over years and thats signing to the fact that mdma is changing your neurochemistry pretty hardcore for long periods and i have seen it people changing pretty hard

 

[Kl519]

Ime just one year is enough to fully recover in as much as you can perceive. Granted, that means staying fully abstinent where in that case, three months will feel like a really long time. When you're counting your sober days, the days go by slower.

It feels like a long time ago to me but it hasn't even been 2 months yet since I sobered up.

If you're getting what seems to be a three week comedown from mdma use, why use it? I can't see many people who would do that, and that would mean mdma just isn't a drug your body plays nice with. It's powerful in a lot of ways. Many of us who have used it without such disturbances probably wouldn't have if that was the case for us too. I'd simply turn to psychedelics, which I ended up doing anyway. A lot of them have a more unique set of effects coming from the perspective of not having delved much into them (psychedelics), assuming that you haven't. And if you have, then just trip off of them because there's a lot to offer on that side. And most of them are safe too.

Anyway, you should text your stuff before you try it. And oral administration is a preferred ROA for new users.

 

[dzidektencerz]

Dont get me wrong, I inks used that poison just on september and until new year party I didnt do any hardcor thinks exept 3-5 times weed and alkohol on weekend. 3 weeks after not lucky party I feel ok.. I dont get it why I crash so much if during the unlucky party I feel pretty well. I mean if I overdose mdma, why I didnt get any bad trip symptoms on that night ? After 3-4 months I startet feel much better. Sleep improving, energy and mood. But still it was far away road to my old self. Specially sexual dysfunction which I focused on them so much. During this time I was sure about Mirtazapine did that to me. That way in new Year party I toked mdma again! But this time by my small fingertip. And again just feel normal, no euphoria. I mean normal.. since september I serious reckon about sucicide every day, living in Hell. Realy recovering I starting just know when I relized that mdma drug do this to me. My neuroligic next week should confirm this. I planning dont touching any stymulant thinks. I hope some day I will start live again.

 

[Nambo]

Arguable although rare these are the 'typical' symptoms of those of us who have had a really bad reaction to mdma. What I can tell you is that only time will be the potential healer and eventually adapting to the new you. Also brain scans, blood tests etc will come back normal. I found taking ashwagandha and black seed oil morning and evening helped calm my brain and provide some relief from the depression.

 

[Kl519]

Dont get me wrong, I inks used that poison just on september and until new year party I didnt do any hardcor thinks exept 3-5 times weed and alkohol on weekend. 3 weeks after not lucky party I feel ok.. I dont get it why I crash so much if during the unlucky party I feel pretty well. I mean if I overdose mdma, why I didnt get any bad trip symptoms on that night ? After 3-4 months I startet feel much better. Sleep improving, energy and mood. But still it was far away road to my old self. Specially sexual dysfunction which I focused on them so much. During this time I was sure about Mirtazapine did that to me. That way in new Year party I toked mdma again! But this time by my small fingertip. And again just feel normal, no euphoria. I mean normal.. since september I serious reckon about sucicide every day, living in Hell. Realy recovering I starting just know when I relized that mdma drug do this to me. My neuroligic next week should confirm this. I planning dont touching any stymulant thinks. I hope some day I will start live again.

...it's not really poison. Well, maybe with the way your body reacted to it, but I would think S & S can be a deal breaker as well. Maybe a party isn't the best place to try it for the first time? I wouldn't, personally.

If you're attributing all of this to your spare use of mdma, then of course seek abstinence or safer alternatives/activities. The fact that you're on mirtazpine says to me that you shouldn't be taking mdma anyway. Mdma can and will worsen your depression in that case.

I can empathize with this. But yeah, consider that without getting the best effects of mdma, then it's not worth using. Idk, it's still my favorite substance ever, but it's not like I'll ever feel like wanting to use it again. I can't really relate because I've had a lot of good memories from it, however we should be in the same boat of abstinence from it. Heh.

Personally, the worst I've seen IRL are people who get like an immediate 'come down' after the effects wear off, depression/anhedonia/misery for about a week or two at most and all out bad trips where someone flips out. Note that all of these are very real possibilities, but I'm estimating that a good chunk of users do not ever experience this. But a three month come down sounds worse than all of those (for only a 6 hour trip...). There are so many factors at play here, though I'll just say that sucks.

However, you'll definitely recover. Some things just take time to heal, as well as actively doing things for your own health. That goes beyond substance users, eg. everyone.

 

[Dresden]

To the OP, I realize I don't know you or your situation intimately, but I believe you are probably putting too much negative power in the hands of a little pill. I know that many drugs can trigger manic or depressive episodes in highly susceptible individuals, such as us (I know they have done that to me more than once), but you have to realize that the drug use is only the trigger, not the cause.

 

[dzidektencerz]

To the OP, I realize I don't know you or your situation intimately, but I believe you are probably putting too much negative power in the hands of a little pill. I know that many drugs can trigger manic or depressive episodes in highly susceptible individuals, such as us (I know they have done that to me more than once), but you have to realize that the drug use is only the trigger, not the cause.

How come I not shoult not putting negative power to mdma if thad ganger drug runing my life, and just after one experence! I relize it wa my decision and maybe I took to much but what I can see during research is people made huge fun with mdma on one night and than crash, suffering weeks with depression. So i really point and wirth? If some one didnt crash yet than definitaly will crash in future. Anyway I spoke with me neurology. Hi seet those drugs produce toxic in the brain making damages and those damages are PERNAMENT

 

[electric moon]

Many of us who have used it without such disturbances probably wouldn't have if that was the case for us too. I'd simply turn to psychedelics, which I ended up doing anyway. A lot of them have a more unique set of effects coming from the perspective of not having delved much into them (psychedelics), assuming that you haven't. And if you have, then just trip off of them because there's a lot to offer on that side. And most of them are safe too.

Anyway, you should text your stuff before you try it. And oral administration is a preferred ROA for new users.

I would think that psychadelics would give him the same type of problems since they are both serotoninergic. When people have these kind of problems with these type of drugs, I am of the opinion its because their serotonin is either low or the receptors arent quite up to snuff and their brain is having trouble getting the levels to return to normal.

 

[Kl519]

I would think that psychadelics would give him the same type of problems since they are both serotoninergic. When people have these kind of problems with these type of drugs, I am of the opinion its because their serotonin is either low or the receptors arent quite up to snuff and their brain is having trouble getting the levels to return to normal.

Great. Nice opinion.

Honestly, I don't know what else to say.

 

[electric moon]

I cant tell if there is sarcasm in there or not.

 

[Kl519]

lol, why would it be sarcasm when what you said makes sense? I've made tons of posts like that but I mean it. I know you don't know me, but my natural state is very happy and positive, so no worries whoever you are, It wasn't sarcastic.

Be at ease.

 

[electric moon]

I didn't think there was, but when I hear someone say, nice opinion, I just picture someone sitting at their computer with a snobby little look on their face. lol. Anyways, its all good.

 

[Kl519]

Haha. No worries, I post with my phone with a =l face most of the time.

 

[Londonscouser]

I would think that psychadelics would give him the same type of problems since they are both serotoninergic. When people have these kind of problems with these type of drugs, I am of the opinion its because their serotonin is either low or the receptors arent quite up to snuff and their brain is having trouble getting the levels to return to normal.

something like this