Hi
New here.....
Looking for advice with my boyfriend. We've been dating for over 2 years aND I've known him for 15 years.
He was honest about his oxy addiction in Dec 2015. His use got worse and eventually he was shooting Heroin. After many fights and my tears he decided to go on methadone maintenance in May 2016. Saying he wanted to change his life and he was doing it for himself. Things were going ok I think for a while. I am proud of the progress he's made. I suspect he slipped up in the beginning but really felt in my gut he was not doing any illicit drugs for months. But the last couple weeks I noticed some behaviour that was familiar. Leaving the house for an unexplained length of time, the shady attitude, being secretive with his phone.
( Also the back story is he hasn't paid me any $ toward rent in months which was agreed upon when he moved in last year, he dosnt have his own car for years and i let him drive mine, he was barely working, and we haven't had sex in more than a year....)
I ask him calmly what's going on? Please don't lie. Are you doing drugs? He immediately gets defensive and raises his voice. I'm am doing my best to try to trust and i truly felt good about things for a while. But now I'm getting that horrible feeling in my gut again and I don't trust he's being honest now so I told him I want him to please do a drug test for me and he refused saying it's stupid and degrading. I asked him to not lie to me and he still insits I'm crazy. I asked him to please stay in the spare bedroom and leave my house for good in one week. I'm so upset I cried myself to sleep. I'm so torn. I love this man with all my heart and he is genuinely a good person. But I just don't know if I can do this anymore. If he were honest with me and tell me I would be much more understanding. It's the lies that I can not deal with. I know something is up. I went so far as to look online to buy a tracking device to tell me where he's going.
I want children, I want a life I can look forward to with a strong man by my side. Am I not being understanding/ supportive enough? Am I just fooling myself thinking he will do the methadone and not use illicit drugs also?
Please any sincere advice is welcomed from those in my boat or past experiences....I need honest, hard truth here. I realize some may think I'm just so dumb for sticking by this man..... I get that. But I do love him and I don't want to give up on him.
Thanks for listening
New here.....
Looking for advice with my boyfriend. We've been dating for over 2 years aND I've known him for 15 years.
He was honest about his oxy addiction in Dec 2015. His use got worse and eventually he was shooting Heroin. After many fights and my tears he decided to go on methadone maintenance in May 2016. Saying he wanted to change his life and he was doing it for himself. Things were going ok I think for a while. I am proud of the progress he's made. I suspect he slipped up in the beginning but really felt in my gut he was not doing any illicit drugs for months. But the last couple weeks I noticed some behaviour that was familiar. Leaving the house for an unexplained length of time, the shady attitude, being secretive with his phone.
( Also the back story is he hasn't paid me any $ toward rent in months which was agreed upon when he moved in last year, he dosnt have his own car for years and i let him drive mine, he was barely working, and we haven't had sex in more than a year....)
I ask him calmly what's going on? Please don't lie. Are you doing drugs? He immediately gets defensive and raises his voice. I'm am doing my best to try to trust and i truly felt good about things for a while. But now I'm getting that horrible feeling in my gut again and I don't trust he's being honest now so I told him I want him to please do a drug test for me and he refused saying it's stupid and degrading. I asked him to not lie to me and he still insits I'm crazy. I asked him to please stay in the spare bedroom and leave my house for good in one week. I'm so upset I cried myself to sleep. I'm so torn. I love this man with all my heart and he is genuinely a good person. But I just don't know if I can do this anymore. If he were honest with me and tell me I would be much more understanding. It's the lies that I can not deal with. I know something is up. I went so far as to look online to buy a tracking device to tell me where he's going.
I want children, I want a life I can look forward to with a strong man by my side. Am I not being understanding/ supportive enough? Am I just fooling myself thinking he will do the methadone and not use illicit drugs also?
Please any sincere advice is welcomed from those in my boat or past experiences....I need honest, hard truth here. I realize some may think I'm just so dumb for sticking by this man..... I get that. But I do love him and I don't want to give up on him.
Thanks for listening
