Ive been dating my girlfriend for 4 years and we are already sophomores at college. We are both going to different colleges and we have made it work last year. My question is will we last throughout all of college. I cheated last year multiple times and she still took me back and i am wondering why. She said it is because she loves me too much to let me go and i keep telling her i would take her back also because its fair and i do love her a lot. So does anyone have experience with long distance relationships and does anyone know if itll workout for us?
Long distance college relationships
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CoffeeDrinker
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You either will break up, or each be the reason the other drinks. How I envy young love....
jam uh weezy
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It's definitely possible. But it takes a lot of work.
I stuck with my girl when she left for college. She cheated on me. I kissed one girl during this time, but I have a lot of self control, and was way to into her. I still wanted her after that. Fast forward three years (we've lived together the past two years), and we're still together. She has grown up a lot, and loves me more than ever. But right now she is studying abroad, and I am the one having major desires to see other women, and I feel kind of bad that she is so in love with me right now while I am playing the what-if game...I even told her while she is away I want to see other girls, but hope she still loves me. I really do love her and feel we are most compatible. I'm guessing that is why your girlfriend wants to be with you still, because she feels like you are the one she is most compatible with.
Honestly dude, it is possible you will stick together. But the fact that you already cheated on her really diminishes those chances. Regardless of how truthful I was when I forgave my girlfriend, things like that have a tendency to fester and boil slowly over time. She may not even be aware of her subconsciousness attempting to get over you.
Would you forgive and fight for her if she cheated on you, like she did for you? If not, do you think you deserve her?
Just my humble perspective man. Only you can really give an accurate analysis of your situation.
I stuck with my girl when she left for college. She cheated on me. I kissed one girl during this time, but I have a lot of self control, and was way to into her. I still wanted her after that. Fast forward three years (we've lived together the past two years), and we're still together. She has grown up a lot, and loves me more than ever. But right now she is studying abroad, and I am the one having major desires to see other women, and I feel kind of bad that she is so in love with me right now while I am playing the what-if game...I even told her while she is away I want to see other girls, but hope she still loves me. I really do love her and feel we are most compatible. I'm guessing that is why your girlfriend wants to be with you still, because she feels like you are the one she is most compatible with.
Honestly dude, it is possible you will stick together. But the fact that you already cheated on her really diminishes those chances. Regardless of how truthful I was when I forgave my girlfriend, things like that have a tendency to fester and boil slowly over time. She may not even be aware of her subconsciousness attempting to get over you.
Would you forgive and fight for her if she cheated on you, like she did for you? If not, do you think you deserve her?
Just my humble perspective man. Only you can really give an accurate analysis of your situation.
Neoprimitive
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I have a lot of experience with long distance relationships mate. Thing is I know we are all human but cheating several times? And you said you would take her back because its fair and you do love her? sounds like your a little luke warm on your feelings mate, just my impressions but well there it is, granted I may a be a bit old fashioned in that fact that I am a one woman man but I digress. I have been on the side of the fence where the person I was in love with cheated on me. Hell I got sent a Dear John letter, broke my damn heart took her back she did it again and we parted ways permanently. I have also been tempted to cheat, never did, despite what she did to me . Now again i started a long distance thing with the girl I have now been with for 7 years ( this November), and frankly man it is a lot of work. The only way it works out is if you both work really hard to talk or communicate on a regular letters, phone skype what ever and are sincere in your dedication towards each other. The woman I am with now, I spent half our relationship over seas seeing her a week or so a year and spending every moment with her like it was our last. Trust, loyalty and friendship have to be the foundation that your relationship is built on local or long distance. My advise to you is, really sit and think about what you want, where you want to be, and whether you want to share your life with this person, because if you answer yes to the fact that shes in the what where and who then you are gonna have a lot of work to make it happen, just while your in college. Then you have the whole question of what comes after college and again is she the who the what and the where that makes up the journey of your life. Just a little bit of advice from a cat that's not that much older ^-^ either way mate good luck
BTW coffee drinker has a point. ^-^
BTW coffee drinker has a point. ^-^
pofacedhoe
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how can any of us know if it will work out for you? also you cheated more than once last year so it didn't really work did it? unless you always cheat throughout this relationship.![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
overall-who knows...
overall-who knows...
hard to say, as said above, if you cheated, do you really want it to work?
its not real likely, ive seen so many longterm relationships get destroyed by college. but if you both want it enough and are willing to make the sacrifices to keep it going, it will
hard to guess but good luck
its not real likely, ive seen so many longterm relationships get destroyed by college. but if you both want it enough and are willing to make the sacrifices to keep it going, it will
hard to guess but good luck
Thanks for all the answers guys, she says she will never cheat and I'm trying to be the best for her. We've been dating so long that we both agreed that we wouldn't let anything hold us back. We both agreed we wanted to be married after college. We see each other every month which makes it easier for us to make it work. We both know it takes a lot of work and thats why we both do romantic stuff for each other we both thought we were very mature for our age until i messed up. I still think we have the dedication to keep it together and the ability to see each other makes it easier. She still loves me very much and i try and have her talk everything out with me we are both very open with communication. We both go out and drink on the weekends which causes most of the problems and temptations yet we both agreed to be open and honest about everything and make an end goal to be together after college through anything. Which i really want to d. We both understand people make mistakes and i just want her to be happy during college so if that means getting drunk then i want her to live her college years to the fullest. Just wondering if this type of mentality will get us through it if we dedicate stay honest and romantic towards each other cause i really love this girl a lot.
Last quick question is it normal to think shes going to cheat because i did? I get these terrible thoughts that shes doing stuff behind my back at college but maybe its because i dont trust myself because i messed up? I get really paranoid and i read online that a lot of girls cheat at college and it just makes my paranoia worse. Is my paranoia due to me cheating?
Pagey
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^Well, I'd say a certain level of paranoia isn't really that strange or out of the ordinary when it comes to long distance relationships. I'm currently in one and I can't pretend the thought that my boyfriend might have cheated at one of the drug/alcohol-filled parties he goes to 5x a week without me hasn't crossed my mind - and I can tell he feels kind of the same about me. That being said, the best thing to do when it comes to this kind of paranoia is remember that if they haven't given you any real reason to be suspicious, then don't be. All that's likely to achieve is to deteriorate the relationship.
ilikestims
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long distance relationships are pure AIDS. why am i going to be attached to something i can't really "have"? not a good look
omnipresenthuman
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^^^ Pretty much got to agree with 'ilikestims' there...
But yea, I wanted to speak on this for a second -
My second relationship, and my first really, really serious one, took place when I was 17-18, and it was 'long' distance, although we were just living an hour apart. We had sex a few times, and then she went off to college (she was actually younger than me but a year ahead in school), broke up with me right before she went, reconsidered, really wanted me to come to her college a days' drive away and visit her (although I really did not have the time at all to do this - was busy with extracurricular activities all the time) to have sex, and then a month or so passed and she told me that she had slept with a ton of dudes and yea, I really wasn't interested in her after that.
I'm not putting in all the details about how we got together and how close we were because that's beside the point here - our relationship was near doomed from the start because we really weren't able to put in the 'relationship' time. Now, your case does sound somewhat different, but, honestly man, if you were the one who cheated on her and she came back to you she's either hopelessly naive/'truly in love' with you or she just thinks that you guys are like truly meant for each other in the end, regardless of some flaws that might pop up along the way...
You understand you're talking about being committed to someone else for the rest of your life and you guys don't even interact in close quarters more than 12 or so times a year (I know I'm simplifying what you said, I'm just saying) AND you openly admit to readily cheating on her and basically getting back together with your girl, like, for her? Not to be disrespectful, because you DO seem like a perfectly cool dude, but that's a little fucked up, man.
I've seen plenty of friends' long distance relationships crumble to the dust after a year or two, three max, in college, and trust me, all those couples absolutely LOVED each other - but people can really change in college, especially by senior and post-grad years. My own long distance relationship, which, albeit, was always long distance, only lasted for a few months even though it was really intense and I don't regret it.
I might be biased, admittedly, but I'd tread with a ton of caution. It's up to you what to do, but just think it over very carefully - you're talking about very deep shit committing to someone in this day and age, what with all the fluctuations in personal life and economy that's going on RIGHT NOW. Anything could happen between you guys, honestly, just be prepared, lol, like the Boy Scouts.
But yea, I wanted to speak on this for a second -
My second relationship, and my first really, really serious one, took place when I was 17-18, and it was 'long' distance, although we were just living an hour apart. We had sex a few times, and then she went off to college (she was actually younger than me but a year ahead in school), broke up with me right before she went, reconsidered, really wanted me to come to her college a days' drive away and visit her (although I really did not have the time at all to do this - was busy with extracurricular activities all the time) to have sex, and then a month or so passed and she told me that she had slept with a ton of dudes and yea, I really wasn't interested in her after that.
I'm not putting in all the details about how we got together and how close we were because that's beside the point here - our relationship was near doomed from the start because we really weren't able to put in the 'relationship' time. Now, your case does sound somewhat different, but, honestly man, if you were the one who cheated on her and she came back to you she's either hopelessly naive/'truly in love' with you or she just thinks that you guys are like truly meant for each other in the end, regardless of some flaws that might pop up along the way...
You understand you're talking about being committed to someone else for the rest of your life and you guys don't even interact in close quarters more than 12 or so times a year (I know I'm simplifying what you said, I'm just saying) AND you openly admit to readily cheating on her and basically getting back together with your girl, like, for her? Not to be disrespectful, because you DO seem like a perfectly cool dude, but that's a little fucked up, man.
I've seen plenty of friends' long distance relationships crumble to the dust after a year or two, three max, in college, and trust me, all those couples absolutely LOVED each other - but people can really change in college, especially by senior and post-grad years. My own long distance relationship, which, albeit, was always long distance, only lasted for a few months even though it was really intense and I don't regret it.
I might be biased, admittedly, but I'd tread with a ton of caution. It's up to you what to do, but just think it over very carefully - you're talking about very deep shit committing to someone in this day and age, what with all the fluctuations in personal life and economy that's going on RIGHT NOW. Anything could happen between you guys, honestly, just be prepared, lol, like the Boy Scouts.
llama112
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Wait ... YOU CHEATED???
.... and then she took you back??
That just sounds like a messed up situation to begin with.
Break up now!
..........
Okay I'm just adding that I was in a long distance relationship for two years and we never cheated on each other until I cheated on him (kinda) at the end and then I broke up with him. There are many reasons besides just that, this does make me look like the bad person here and although I certainly did some not so nice things, the relationship was far from perfect and at least it ended at some point.
Long distance relationships CAN work, we were LDR for two years. But during those two years, it was fine, if we had cheated ex. had sex with someone else, that would mean a break up for sure. And I don't think he would have taken me back if I told him I kinda cheated on him. I'm not telling him now because there's no point in hurting him but still.....
.... and then she took you back??
That just sounds like a messed up situation to begin with.
Break up now!
..........
Okay I'm just adding that I was in a long distance relationship for two years and we never cheated on each other until I cheated on him (kinda) at the end and then I broke up with him. There are many reasons besides just that, this does make me look like the bad person here and although I certainly did some not so nice things, the relationship was far from perfect and at least it ended at some point.
Long distance relationships CAN work, we were LDR for two years. But during those two years, it was fine, if we had cheated ex. had sex with someone else, that would mean a break up for sure. And I don't think he would have taken me back if I told him I kinda cheated on him. I'm not telling him now because there's no point in hurting him but still.....
Roger&Me
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I would literally bet $10,000 that she has hooked up with several other guys already. Especially if she knows you cheated on her. She's at college, man, and you're not around -- let her go.
Find someone that you can actually be with or be single for a while. College is the perfect time to be single, and a terrible time to attempt a serious relationship, imho. Serious relationships are for when you graduate and have to become a boring fuck like everybody else. :D (I kid, I kid)
You're young, you'll recover.
pofacedhoe
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yes- cheaters are always the accusers on jeremy kyle. youtube that sh*t
people often think that others are like them. so cheaters think their girlfriend is going to cheat. maybe she will as you have kind of given the green light by doing it yourself and you have no way of keeping an eye on her.
put it this way if someone cheated on me and i stayed with them i would be upset at first but then i would be well up for banging loads of people and having a relationship at the same time. double bonus with a cherry on top. whats to lose? who has the moral high ground? er... no one?
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I was in an on again off again relationship in college and all I have to say is this: If you're looking elsewhere and cheating or if you're not 100% certain about this woman (and the fact that you're asking us this question shows that you aren't) end it. You've been together since high school and now you're wanting to explore your options and she's hanging out hope that things work out.
If you're cheating it's time to end things. You aren't doing yourself or her any favors by staying in the relationship. Also, let's say it it does work out and you stay together through college and end up getting married or whatever the end goal is at some point the resentment that she has regarding your infidelity will come out. If you think that your cheating is gone and forgotten you're delusional. Being cheated on builds resentment and bad relationship foundation.
I would highly recommend not continuing your relationship. If you want specifics on my situation, which to a large degree was similar to yours, you can PM me. I wish you the best of luck.
If you're cheating it's time to end things. You aren't doing yourself or her any favors by staying in the relationship. Also, let's say it it does work out and you stay together through college and end up getting married or whatever the end goal is at some point the resentment that she has regarding your infidelity will come out. If you think that your cheating is gone and forgotten you're delusional. Being cheated on builds resentment and bad relationship foundation.
I would highly recommend not continuing your relationship. If you want specifics on my situation, which to a large degree was similar to yours, you can PM me. I wish you the best of luck.