ChaosInTheER
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jul 4, 2016
- Messages
- 24
Hello everyone! First off I'm so sorry I know this should go in like blogs maybe? But I'm still greenlight status
But here we go. This might be a long one so I don't fault you for skimming, maybe someone will read the whole thing lol.
This all started for me 3 years ago. I asked my mom for some pain medication cause I fuckedt back up at work. So she obliges I figured a vicodin or something, she turns up at my house with a bottle of 10 30mg oxycodone ir tabs.. And that my friends was the first day to the end of my life.
At that time. I knew very little about opiates, except 15mg of vicodin would have me feeling nice all day... Man how I miss those low tolly days.. Like everyone I'm sure ha.
But I digress, after my pills ran out. And they actually lasted quite a while at first didn't take them every day but did take them to get high.
I went back to my mom and asked if she had anymore cause they worked SO well for pain (I wanted it to get high at this point.)
So she gives me 100 more...
And this is where shit really hit the fan. Started with half a pill to be really nice all day, then a whole pill. Then 2.... But we all know how this goes.. Eventually her "stash" dries up. She gave me equal to 30k usd in oxycodone over the course of 9 months. Needless to say I was very addicted at this point. So I got a real back injury. Seemed like perfect luck and timing. (looking back I think most the pain was wd)
So I go to my life long family doctor who happily writes me a script for 60 5mg oxy hcl, obviously that lasted about 3 days so I would then take to the streets to stave off wd.. Never used H but everything else you can think of..
Eventually I got my script up to 20mg ir every 4 hrs. Or 180 tabs a month. I was in HEAVEN! but that script eventually didn't make it past a week..
In the height of my habit ~80 just go feel normal. 150+ for a buzz that lasted all of 20 minutes and and 230-300 for a beautiful nod state.. Single doses. My max daily intake at one point was over 400
My last dose of oxycodone was 150mg approx. 3 days ago. This time has been the hardest as my habit was the worst
As I'm sure everyone knows this shit sucks a massive black cock!
I haven't slept a wink. Got glass lodged in my throat spent the last 30 hrs waiting in doctors offices and ers. And the glass is still there.. Fuck the American Medical establishment! Im a dude completely covered in tattoos so I assume they figured me just a drug seeker.. Actually I know as the last doctor said "I do not feel comfortable prescribing YOU narcotics" like wtf? I have glass in my throat dude. I just wanted a couple vikes to take the edge off the pain. . But naww
So I've been a miserable pile, with glass in my throat full blown wd. And I just feel like I'm going crazy.. Zero sleep these past 3 days took 40mg of Valium yesterday cause of the doctor trips and me hating them enough even high. Took 20mg more when I got home plus 15mg of flexeril to try and knock myself out. Didn't work.. As I have to go to work here pretty soon..
Im just going crazy and losing my shit so this took like 10 minutes that's 10 minutes I didn't spend thinking about opiates. Lol
Why's this shit gotta be such a blessing and a curse.. Oxy should. Just be otc.. It's not more destructive than alcohol if it's readily available junkies won't commit crimes if they can just go to wally world and grab a bottle nawm-sayin lol maybe that's my stupid addict brain logic lol but idk! Legalize oxy! ?
But to summize. My recovery is on the best path it's ever been despite the hell it's been. I havs some 30 fent patches in my dresser drawer that I haven't even looked at.
Thanks for reading. Support is always welcome.
And I send out my support to anyone else fighting this hellish war, this is the real war on drugs lmao
Good luck my fellow blrs and remember. Always find the silver lining. It definitely helps.
Peace and love my fellow addicts and recovered inspirations!
-Chaos
But here we go. This might be a long one so I don't fault you for skimming, maybe someone will read the whole thing lol.
This all started for me 3 years ago. I asked my mom for some pain medication cause I fuckedt back up at work. So she obliges I figured a vicodin or something, she turns up at my house with a bottle of 10 30mg oxycodone ir tabs.. And that my friends was the first day to the end of my life.
At that time. I knew very little about opiates, except 15mg of vicodin would have me feeling nice all day... Man how I miss those low tolly days.. Like everyone I'm sure ha.
But I digress, after my pills ran out. And they actually lasted quite a while at first didn't take them every day but did take them to get high.
I went back to my mom and asked if she had anymore cause they worked SO well for pain (I wanted it to get high at this point.)
So she gives me 100 more...
And this is where shit really hit the fan. Started with half a pill to be really nice all day, then a whole pill. Then 2.... But we all know how this goes.. Eventually her "stash" dries up. She gave me equal to 30k usd in oxycodone over the course of 9 months. Needless to say I was very addicted at this point. So I got a real back injury. Seemed like perfect luck and timing. (looking back I think most the pain was wd)
So I go to my life long family doctor who happily writes me a script for 60 5mg oxy hcl, obviously that lasted about 3 days so I would then take to the streets to stave off wd.. Never used H but everything else you can think of..
Eventually I got my script up to 20mg ir every 4 hrs. Or 180 tabs a month. I was in HEAVEN! but that script eventually didn't make it past a week..
In the height of my habit ~80 just go feel normal. 150+ for a buzz that lasted all of 20 minutes and and 230-300 for a beautiful nod state.. Single doses. My max daily intake at one point was over 400
My last dose of oxycodone was 150mg approx. 3 days ago. This time has been the hardest as my habit was the worst
As I'm sure everyone knows this shit sucks a massive black cock!
I haven't slept a wink. Got glass lodged in my throat spent the last 30 hrs waiting in doctors offices and ers. And the glass is still there.. Fuck the American Medical establishment! Im a dude completely covered in tattoos so I assume they figured me just a drug seeker.. Actually I know as the last doctor said "I do not feel comfortable prescribing YOU narcotics" like wtf? I have glass in my throat dude. I just wanted a couple vikes to take the edge off the pain. . But naww
So I've been a miserable pile, with glass in my throat full blown wd. And I just feel like I'm going crazy.. Zero sleep these past 3 days took 40mg of Valium yesterday cause of the doctor trips and me hating them enough even high. Took 20mg more when I got home plus 15mg of flexeril to try and knock myself out. Didn't work.. As I have to go to work here pretty soon..
Im just going crazy and losing my shit so this took like 10 minutes that's 10 minutes I didn't spend thinking about opiates. Lol
Why's this shit gotta be such a blessing and a curse.. Oxy should. Just be otc.. It's not more destructive than alcohol if it's readily available junkies won't commit crimes if they can just go to wally world and grab a bottle nawm-sayin lol maybe that's my stupid addict brain logic lol but idk! Legalize oxy! ?
But to summize. My recovery is on the best path it's ever been despite the hell it's been. I havs some 30 fent patches in my dresser drawer that I haven't even looked at.
Thanks for reading. Support is always welcome.
And I send out my support to anyone else fighting this hellish war, this is the real war on drugs lmao
Good luck my fellow blrs and remember. Always find the silver lining. It definitely helps.
Peace and love my fellow addicts and recovered inspirations!
-Chaos
