Ketamine and Benzos: Absurd experience with madhouse bonus

[MephedroneCandy]

WARNING - WARNING (READ OUT)
I have nothing against homosexuals or sluts. I respect and encourage anyone who expresses their being in complete freedom, including gays, sluts or whatever. The terms used herein are friendly and joking. I don't want to offend NOBODY.

This is the scientific explanation of everything that happened, I suggest you read it to understand the context and also know important information about the incredible potential of ketamine.
Every time I do ketamine I always learn new things, I have some kind of revelation. In reality they are not really new revelations. But simply things that used to go unnoticed to me instead all of a sudden I finally manage to understand them and understand their importance.For example: I'm completely high almost into ego death and so I start thinking about things (actually I always think). All of a sudden I have flashbacks of all the times I've felt that life is purposeless as if it were a flash of genius and then FULLY AUTOMATICALLY INSTANTLY thinking about all the contexts it was said in, my experiences etc... and develop a theory about life. I really realize life is a meaningless thing and like Elon Musk doesn't even know what the fuck he's doing. I repeat all this is a flash of genius; it's instantaneous and I don't control it.
It doesn't just work on abstract things like theory of life, but on everyday stuff too!
Ketamine helps you reanalyze everything you've experienced and make you think out of the box because with the dissolution of the ego you also temporarily remove all the CONDITIONINGS you had as a child and you can come up with new ideas and theories!
Basically the CONDITIONING we have as children form very powerful synapses and with ketamine by antagonizing the NMDA receptors we can temporarily ignore them.
This is because the NMDA receptor plays a major role in the process that regulates the formation of CONDITIONINGS called Long Term Potentiation.
Our behaviors are given by our experiences and genetics such as how much serotonin we produce etc... (and we know how we react to experiences), with ketamine we act on the former.
What I mean is that with ketamine you can conquer the world.
Elon Musk also said it long after me and omitting Ketamine lol.

Here comes some awesome more Ketamine, I haven't been on it for a long time, but still less than 6 months and I'm extremely happy and start an awesome 8 hour binge session!
In this session I have my first revelation. I've been in a group for some time where we talk about substances, making a lot of money, etc... The atmosphere is very playful and also serves for messing around. In any case I'm starting to believe that all the main members of that group are fags and that they had enticed me to become a fag like them. This is because lately many have said that they were gay, but in reality I had taken this as a joke. But now I understand that they are really fags.
I spoke to whoever introduced me to the group, accusing him of being a fag and that he made me a fag as well. I started giving complicated explanations about how everything I said was true and was doing more ketamine in between thoughts. Every time I did ketamine I pointed it out to him, telling him that it was to think better, but he tells me I'm exaggerating, I obviously ignore him. But then I call another trusted person and reassures me saying that even if it is true that there are many fags including him no one is trying to lure me. So I calm down and even the binge ends! Unfortunately I lost the conversation with the first person, but it was really hilarious and completely absurd.

The next day I go to school with a very pleasant ketamine afterglow, I was very happy and everything was beautiful, but I have a very normal school day. I get home and immediately start a new ketamine binge because I wanted to have new REVELATIONS.It will be for the thoughts that I had in my mind before starting, but after a while I have a new revelation.I can think of all the times my friends or even random people said that girls were sluts.I've always thought that when people say this they mean it as a joke, like when they say girls are stupid, whatever. Instead, other experiences also come to mind and here's the revelation: ALMOST ALL GIRLS ARE SLUTS.
I don't know why but I'm extremely baffled. Probably because normally I am full of religious CONDITIONINGS because of my family that even if I refuse subconsciously they always condition.
The fact remains that it seemed completely absurd to me and I was both happy, precisely because from now on I could take advantage of it and I am extremely disappointed for myself that I only understood it now after all this wasted time.
I decide not to end the binge because ketamine has only started to reveal such useful things to me now and that I can't stop this fantastic binge in view of other very powerful revelations that make me understand everything about life without CONDITIONINGS.So the next day I go to school high on ketamine and I also bring more to binge there too.
This absurd revelation I had will "haunt" me for a long time to come. Arriving at school, I immediately ask everyone for clarification and they confirm that it is very true and it excites me even more. Then I also say that I'm stupid for only now discovering this and they say naah don't worry there are people who never understand it.
In religion class I go a little too hard with ketamine, in fact I went into ego death. We were watching a film about the story of a Muslim girl who runs away and goes to the West and her difficulties. We laugh and joke about how cute the little girl was, but at some point there comes a scene full of lights and with some drums. These drums, along with the whole scene, never stopped so I thought it was an auditory hallucination that I often have when under the influence. I asked the others if they heard them too and one laughs and says that it's not just me who hears them. So I say it's a shit movie, that these drums and colored lights on the screen for so long bother the viewer and they suck. Then I pass and go into ego death, I wake up just before the bell rings and my classmates point out to me that the teacher had understood that I was extremely high.But anyway it was that of religion it's not that there's a difference between playing with the phone and staying in ego death, right? HAHAHA

However, when I get home, I decide to finish the remaining ketamine by making a single intake to go into ego death. But then it lasts longer than expected, my parents arrive and they call the ambulance scared that I won't answer, which takes me to the nearest hospital. They obviously don't do shit there and just wait for the effects to pass. While they waited I spoke to a psychiatrist who asked me how I was and stuff. I obviously completely excited about my new discovery I tell him that all girls are sluts and he laughs and that instead of taking ketamine I should take advantage of it. After a few hours the ketamine stops taking effect and we go home!
The next day I think my journey with substances was not finished yet!
So I go to buy some Tavor at the pharmacy I take one, but it doesn't matter to me, I take another one. I forget I took it so I take another one until I finish the whole box and realize it's over when I was taking yet another.I want to clarify that usually with risk reduction etc... I am extremely cautious, including with the dosage. However the benzos just made me forget I took it, it was impossible to control even with all the good will in the world being my first time.Euphoria rises, I'm fearless and I think I can do anything. I start going around all the pharmacies with fake prescriptions and I ask for medicines that they can't give me, not even killed, even with a prescription, like Ritalin. Anyway I think like I want to rob pharmacies or something. I steal my mother's card and then I call her asking for the PIN, because I thought if I took the card in advance, she would give me the PIN for sure, but she didn't.
I fall all the time due to muscles that give up (muscle relaxant effect of benzos).
I still have in mind that all girls are sluts and after having had all the necessary clarifications in these days I decide to test this theory first hand!
I call someone completely high on benzo and ask her: Would you like to go out?
She says Okay, to do what? And I said, what to do what? Her: what do you want to do, go to the bar I don't know. I pause for a moment and then I tell her to fuck and I start laughing. She gets very angry and she tells me that she doesn't want to talk to me anymore (fortunately it wasn't for real). Anyway I apologize please forgive me mercy, but she blocks me.The next day (still in extreme benzo high) I go to school with my shirt torn because I always fell. I'm a bit disappointed because my theory didn't work exactly as it was supposed to so I ask a friend of mine for further explanation why girls don't want to prove they are sluts (the ketamine was over, I couldn't use it to think better). She answers me over and over again, but I constantly forgot the answer and asked for it. To this day I don't remember what she replied to me.

They make me call home because I kept falling over because my muscles gave out randomly. Arrived at home they bring me to the hospital (again) and doctors interned me in psychiatry. They give me more benzos to avoid absurd hangovers and for the first 1-2 days I am calm.
Later I realize that staying even just one more day in that asylum is absolutely not good so first I kindly ask if I can go out, but the answer is negative and it seemed that they treated me as if I were crazy, giving me vague answers. I get pissed seriously and make a mess like why don't you let me out??? This is a madhouse. If I want to go out it is my right to go out. You are tyrants, how do you sleep at night??
I'm so pissed they tie me to the bed for like 15 minutes and give me a tranquilizer. (I'm still very angry about these things I've suffered and I think the Italian state owes me).Since I was a minor my parents had to sign me out and they didn't want to sign because they thought I was still under the influence (which I was, but still I couldn't stay until they dropped benzos to 0), so they told me to wait some more. Eventually they'll let me out the next day.
I resigned myself to having ended up in an asylum for life practically going back to test the theory that almost all women are sluts. First I think about trying a pretty nurse, but then I think it's too specific a case to test the theory. So I decide with a girl my age that I had found nearby. I say hello how are you doing? etc... And then smiling I tell her do you want to fuck? She smiles too and tells me I'm cute but she says we are being watched in that place. I say okay then I will find a solution. Then the next day I went out and then there was no time to find a solution.
I have a telegram channel where I write all my scientific research and my experiences. Come in! (at)SciemenzaReborn

 

[Mcracken420]

Dude you need to stop. While I see your point where you say most girls are sluts etc. These are not 'revelations'. You are simply understanding what people are saying to you. When you speak of 'conditioning', are you sure the ketamine isn't an illusion in itself? You are borderline kook, and as someone who was also like you I recommend you just stop. I actually had a very profound experience on MDMA a while ago where I realized that people who do psychedelics and dissociatives are living in an illusion. In reality most people are, it's just that your illusion is different. Everyone is trying to find the truth and the path you're on isn't it.

 

[MephedroneCandy]

Dude you need to stop. While I see your point where you say most girls are sluts etc. These are not 'revelations'. You are simply understanding what people are saying to you. When you speak of 'conditioning', are you sure the ketamine isn't an illusion in itself? You are borderline kook, and as someone who was also like you I recommend you just stop. I actually had a very profound experience on MDMA a while ago where I realized that people who do psychedelics and dissociatives are living in an illusion. In reality most people are, it's just that your illusion is different. Everyone is trying to find the truth and the path you're on isn't it.

I respect but I don't agreee to your opinion. Most of the stuff you say I already said.

 

[Mcracken420]

I respect but I don't agreee to your opinion. Most of the stuff you say I already said.

What is it you disagree with? It's possible you know something I don't, but I believe that as someone who has experienced it, you will eventually find out you were misled. Unless of course that was your point, in which case I must not have understood. Regardless, I have still had these realizations that you speak of and I know how helpful they can be. Be safe bro.

 

[MephedroneCandy]

What is it you disagree with? It's possible you know something I don't, but I believe that as someone who has experienced it, you will eventually find out you were misled. Unless of course that was your point, in which case I must not have understood. Regardless, I have still had these realizations that you speak of and I know how helpful they can be. Be safe bro.

As I said ketamine does not provvide you new knoledge. As I said psychedelics and dissociatives can help you process the infos you already have in a new way finding new stuff. In my first post I said that if would not be for ketamine I would still believe that most girls are not sluts because of my religious conditionings.
When people said it to me I just recognized it as a joke because of my conditionings and when girls were kind of sluts on me I misinterpreted always because of my conditionings. In a ketamine session I interpreted everything in the correct way. And now the correct interpretation is in my knowledgebase. It is kinda "the answer has always been in you".

 

[Mcracken420]

As I said ketamine does not provvide you new knoledge. As I said psychedelics and dissociatives can help you process the infos you already have in a new way finding new stuff. In my first post I said that if would not be for ketamine I would still believe that most girls are not sluts because of my religious conditionings.
When people said it to me I just recognized it as a joke because of my conditionings and when girls were kind of sluts on me I misinterpreted always because of my conditionings. In a ketamine session I interpreted everything in the correct way. And now the correct interpretation is in my knowledgebase. It is kinda "the answer has always been in you".

True. I do agree with the thing about girls. However, I think that having that mindset is bad for you, and I just want to make sure you are really understanding everything correctly. I am not saying you're unwise and haven't done this yet, but question everything you learn, even from psychedelics or dissociatives. I have definitely had these realizations and I simply implemented wrong. I don't think there's anything you've said that I disagree with, and you definitely seem to have gained a lot from your experiences, but my point is just that we all know that guy who's tripped a few too many times. Your hospital experience is the only thing that concerns me.

 

[Mjäll]

I would rather criticize the use of hardcore psychoactive drugs in places like school.

The girls are sluts thing is a bit more complicated, but the value in dissociative deprogramming is very real. For me it's centered around self esteem and i think that's a good focus to have. These drugs work as emotional regulators by facilitating self therapy. They don't bring knowledge, but they can bring openness to knowledge by helping to deconstruct self-limiting thoughts created by dark emotions. The astounding array of such expanding realizations is impossible to articulate or even remember for me. I just feel it.

Anyway happy drugging and stay safe. I want to tell you that you don't need such amounts to get the benefits, but i'm a slight hypocrite with regards to another substance...

 

[Mcracken420]

I would rather criticize the use of hardcore psychoactive drugs in places like school.

The girls are sluts thing is a bit more complicated, but the value in dissociative deprogramming is very real. For me it's centered around self esteem and i think that's a good focus to have. These drugs work as emotional regulators by facilitating self therapy. They don't bring knowledge, but they can bring openness to knowledge by helping to deconstruct self-limiting thoughts created by dark emotions. The astounding array of such expanding realizations is impossible to articulate or even remember for me. I just feel it.

Anyway happy drugging and stay safe. I want to tell you that you don't need such amounts to get the benefits, but i'm a slight hypocrite with regards to another substance...

Oh yes using these substances for self improvement and self esteem is a very good reason. Good luck with your future trips I hope you continue to learn and grow. I had a very similar experience on a solo roll a while ago. Do you have any experience with MDMA for this purpose? If not, I highly recommend it.

 

[Mjäll]

Oh yes using these substances for self improvement and self esteem is a very good reason. Good luck with your future trips I hope you continue to learn and grow. I had a very similar experience on a solo roll a while ago. Do you have any experience with MDMA for this purpose? If not, I highly recommend it.

For me MDMA is more relationship or socially oriented. Never tried a solo roll. I can see that working for some

 

[Mcracken420]

For me MDMA is more relationship or socially oriented. Never tried a solo roll. I can see that working for some

Yeah I still do prefer rolling with friends and that was definitely something I didn't expect from MDMA

 

[plumbus-nine]

I do know what you mean with "revelations" and I have to say that sometimes part of them is really new, but most is indeed just dissociative induced delusion. When I was doing dissociatives routinely I thought I began to understand the world; in fact I was just experiencing my inhibited memory and thus reality with less inhibitions. This stuff (dissos) should destroy everything I had in life, relationships and money, and almost took away my physical and mental health as well. Nevertheless I can't see them as "bad/evil" drugs and would probably continue if I wasn't cut off any research chemical supply and street K is too expensive and toxic/short lived for me to bother with it. But there are some positive things as well, when getting the dosage exactly right not to drift off due to memory inhibition taking over and not to remain underwhelmed because of too less, then some "magical" things can happen. Like learning with almost photographic memory. Or new social contacts when I was usually so overly inhibited by social anxiety related symptoms. Stuff would remain in memory after a single time of reading something. Most of that would eventually go away with abstinence though.

But about these revelations, I wrote my thoughts down on some occasions and filled more than one notebook with them but in the end it was just nonsense mostly. Problem with dissociatives is that they blur the line of judgement between what is worthy to keep and which thoughts should be discarded, and after some time one develops whole thought buildings off some weird nonsense.

Take care!