Shankar96
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Dec 14, 2015
- Messages
- 11
Hi friends,
So I was diagnosed with ADHD-Pi in July and after giving Adderall a try, decided against taking it. Well this was a bad decision. Now almost half-way through the semester I am doing awful and in general just accomplishing anything is extremely difficult, even things that I want to do.
So I decided on my day off to give it a go again. I forget why I chose to take 40mg, but I did. When I first tried it back in July or August I took 5mg. In short, it made me sleepy, but it made me feel slightly more normal. I noticed my thoughts not going off as much as usual. Not a strong effect, but a subtle one.
Anyways, so I took 40mg, and it was perfection. I felt like my "normal" personality had finally returned. It felt like I was a kid again, and that I could accomplish anything. (It felt quite similar to MDMA actually.) I mowed the lawn, cleaned the bathroom, and did a bunch of other things that I was putting off for ages. I nearly started crying I was so happy to have finally rediscovered my "self."
I found myself also much more empathetic towards others, it was much easier to relate, have conversations, look people in the eye, start conversations, etc. That day I had the best shift at work I have ever had. I work in a restaurant, and I didn't have to look at the tickets more than once to memorize what was on them. I didn't forget to check the oven. I had a great time talking to my co-workers and the best part is - when I was finished with work, I hardly even wanted to leave.
That night I had a hard time getting to sleep as you can imagine and a pretty bad crash. At that point I decided it would probably be best to find the lowest dose that can sustain that motivation, energy, and focus I was able to achieve.
So the next day I took 5mg, felt subtle effects but nothing noticeable. 5mg more, slight bodily effects and still no focus/motivation. 15mg I felt mild improvement in ability to focus, pleasant bodily effects.
But what I did not feel was happy or motivated. Sure I could focus but I was absolutely miserable. I had no desire to talk to my family, everything and everyone was somewhat irritating. I had to pay close attention to how I was feeling as to not overreact to what someone said. I figured that 10mg more would be helpful, so before work I dosed 10mg more. Well that shift, I could not focus at all. My memory was shot, I forgot to check the oven multiple times, had to check tickets, messed up on an order. I felt much more stimulated however, I was a tad shaky, very alert, but just not feeling like myself.
Why could this be? Does this mean I need to up my dosage even higher? Or did I screw it up by giving myself a tolerance from the first dose? Did I drain my brain of any and all dopamine? Any help would be appreciated.
So I was diagnosed with ADHD-Pi in July and after giving Adderall a try, decided against taking it. Well this was a bad decision. Now almost half-way through the semester I am doing awful and in general just accomplishing anything is extremely difficult, even things that I want to do.
So I decided on my day off to give it a go again. I forget why I chose to take 40mg, but I did. When I first tried it back in July or August I took 5mg. In short, it made me sleepy, but it made me feel slightly more normal. I noticed my thoughts not going off as much as usual. Not a strong effect, but a subtle one.
Anyways, so I took 40mg, and it was perfection. I felt like my "normal" personality had finally returned. It felt like I was a kid again, and that I could accomplish anything. (It felt quite similar to MDMA actually.) I mowed the lawn, cleaned the bathroom, and did a bunch of other things that I was putting off for ages. I nearly started crying I was so happy to have finally rediscovered my "self."
I found myself also much more empathetic towards others, it was much easier to relate, have conversations, look people in the eye, start conversations, etc. That day I had the best shift at work I have ever had. I work in a restaurant, and I didn't have to look at the tickets more than once to memorize what was on them. I didn't forget to check the oven. I had a great time talking to my co-workers and the best part is - when I was finished with work, I hardly even wanted to leave.
That night I had a hard time getting to sleep as you can imagine and a pretty bad crash. At that point I decided it would probably be best to find the lowest dose that can sustain that motivation, energy, and focus I was able to achieve.
So the next day I took 5mg, felt subtle effects but nothing noticeable. 5mg more, slight bodily effects and still no focus/motivation. 15mg I felt mild improvement in ability to focus, pleasant bodily effects.
But what I did not feel was happy or motivated. Sure I could focus but I was absolutely miserable. I had no desire to talk to my family, everything and everyone was somewhat irritating. I had to pay close attention to how I was feeling as to not overreact to what someone said. I figured that 10mg more would be helpful, so before work I dosed 10mg more. Well that shift, I could not focus at all. My memory was shot, I forgot to check the oven multiple times, had to check tickets, messed up on an order. I felt much more stimulated however, I was a tad shaky, very alert, but just not feeling like myself.
Why could this be? Does this mean I need to up my dosage even higher? Or did I screw it up by giving myself a tolerance from the first dose? Did I drain my brain of any and all dopamine? Any help would be appreciated.