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Venting I've never been in a clean/sober relationship

PrincessCrizzack

PrincessCrizzack

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 30, 2021
Messages
42
Can any of you tell me what its like?
my boyfriend died of a heroin OD 3 years ago and since then I've dated one person I met at a meeting. I don't blame him for me smoking crack again but it didn't help that he wasn't.
nobody before them two didn't get high
also idk what forum this belongs in so .. idk
 
I can move this to the relationships forum.
I have been lucky enough to have friends and partners that don't do any drugs and are really supportive of me. It certainly helps, but sometimes I wish I had someone around that understood addiction and drugs better.

Everyone has issues and sometimes a sober partner can still be an absolute disaster to be with. I hope you're able to conquer your addiction and find someone who is supportive of you.
 
PrincessCrizzack said:
Can any of you tell me what its like?
Click to expand...
Ive been with the same woman over 26 years and the only substances she partakes is a glass of wine (red) and what the doc prescribes her. This is here for the whole time.
I on the other hand have used the whole time. Other than an occasional break here and there for whatever reason or incentive I have used (mostly openly but discreetly if ya get me) this whole time. She knows this.
She does not like me when I am completely sober. Lots of compromising with myself and her. Clean I get way to agitated and IDK just an asshole (moreso).
Whats it like? This has been the most educational experience of my life. Of all. I would love to give her all the lauding but we both grow in experience, knowledge, patience (thin lol ), compromise (daily), share to the point that if the other isnt around we will skip a dinner idea for an example. Just doesnt seem the same when the other is not around. Like life is ok but it is bland, ya know?
Change sometimes is just a thing. We grow and change constantly ime. Bot mind and body never an end of change. Even when we "die" we are only changing providing life and sustenance to the rest of the phenom. Where that spark goes? Why does it have to go anywhere? Its here. LOL ;) Sorry.
Uh.... Whats it like:
If it is a "committed" relationship of "friendlies" its awesome. I rarely do any drugs these days other than maintenance shit but the flip side is a comfortable, fed and somewhat healthy family (no chirrens but SO and two post-feral kitties that are my babies). I seem to be never comfortable regardless but my focus isnt always on me now, is it...? :)
She has been my hero for many years. I was hers, wasnt and maybe am again. haha lolzes. Doesnt matter we are there for each other if something goes sideways. Always. Without fail other than me being an ass and getting shunned for a while. That shit hurts. ;)
Ummm, It can work. My issue with "relationships" is it takes time to know a mf and what of the time and energy put into this to find that the prince is a frog after a while. So many of these before I met ol girl. shhhhh....:blkitty:: Dont regret the learning curve but what a lot of wasted everything other than the learning. Maybe experience and hopefully a little wisdom is all we can hope for in return? Bahmeh.
I'll try to get back to this cause the title is screaming for answers in my head even if they are for my eyes only (and by extension bl ai enthusiasts, users and abusers all). What grandiosity I display, no? 😁 We all know all this is posted with errors and misinformation so I just read between the lines. halz
Best in your relationships.... Give and take, compromise, share whatever if ya want it to work it will be worth it if the other is like minded. Fuckin time, man. We should just know who is right. Maybe we do and are distracted for profit. ? 🤔
OK.
Later.
peace
 
I've been in maybe one, very short (months) long relationship (if you could call it that) sober. The rest I've been using semi regularly in and I find it immensely difficult to open up to people and potential partners when sober especially due to trauma which is a big stumbling block for me.

It took me 5-10 years to tell some of my closest friends my trauma history and I know for a fact a potential partner won't wait that long, but the impacts of it effect my life in such profound ways they would be blind not to notice something like the fact that I'd never introduce them to my family lol.

So yeah. I've pretty much given up on the possibility of ever having a partner due to that and being really autistic. People initially think I'm shy and it's cute then they realise I'm just totally inept and its work. The drugs help mask that.
 
I've had a couple. The main things that got in the way were the lying and prioritising drugs over my SO.

I believe if someone can occasionally and recreationally use drugs, there's no reason it won't work.

If you smoke crack regularly it's likely you're an addict, and you probably need to get healthy before you can be in a healthy relationship.

Of course there are occasional crack users and you might be one of them. The likelihood of finding someone else that can use it responsibly or accept your use seem low, sorry.
 
Me neither, I long for one. Eventually one will come, I know time is going to reward me sooner or late :)
 
Neither have I. Not for long anyway. I tend to choose partners for the longer terms that are sober themselves, but I don't manage. The relationship eventually ends. I remain friends as I always try to maintain the friendships I have to some degree. I fail everyone. I disappear for days @nD weeks and months on end sometimes and I can't keep up with everything I've put to the outset for my life.

I'm desperately alone and fucked out of my tree. So people say. Inside of my own perception I'm alright, I can't put controls on certain aspects of mental illness and neurological issues. Especially if I'm still using or have been using recently.

I don't know if I can actually recover anymore. It's been so long since I've had a good stretch.

Regardless of all that, I'm doing everything I can to power through anyway. It's a fucking tough and lonely life. My health in all manners is declining for reasons fat beyond just drug use too. I'm a rollercoaster emotionally.

I don't know what's ahead. But as long as I put my own spin onto that direction we all get thrown into. A curveball can theoretically wind up straight to the point I hope to attain, right?

A relationship that doesn't fail.

A life that's okay and in one place for awhile.

A network I've made online to become more homely in the end, and accomplished. I go offline.

I go offline and pass the buck on to whomever can carry my torch.
 
Welll ive been on opiates and benzos for about 15 years so it's kinda hard for me to be in a clean and sober relationship
 
Me neither. It's always been a constant battle to choose: either the girl or dope. Sadly, I chose the dope and lost a good girl but aye that's life.
 
Yes. Giving up drugs to the extent I did (for many years) was very hard and it made me less happy. The relationship didn't work out, and that was a significant factor.
 
It's cool. When you have a bad day , you just count to ten. No yelling no violence, no breaking shit. And you wonder why wasn't life this easy before?
 
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