Is it ever appropriate to take someone's keys?

[jammin83]

Was out having a drink after work the other night and a friend of a friend was there that I hadn't met. She had been drinking for hours and was pretty smashed. I tried to offer her rides and a way to get to her car in the morning, adamantly refused. you know how it goes. Not much public transportation where i live and drinking and driving here is pretty common and not particularly frowned upon. I cut myself off from driving after two because I get too sketched out. I like to drink, but usually avoid the bar largely because I don't want to drive.

Do you ever take someone's keys or is that a bit too captain america?

Would you do it with someone you didn't know very well that was with your group?

Maybe some of the time they make it home or even most of the time. if something was to happen though and i didn't stop them, i might feel partially responsible.

wasn't really sure how to handle the situation and wondering where to draw the line and how much is your responsibility. I like people to do what they do, but I don't like to see people get hurt or arrested either.

Opinions on the best way to handle these types of situations?

 

[Pharcyde]

Don't ever take anyone's keys. They're grown and know what's up. Just maybe say something like "hey man maybe don't drive" or "drive safe dude"

 

[Lysis]

I don't think I would take someone's keys. Especially someone I don't know.

Totally crossing the line IMO. Like Pharcyde said, I'm grown. If I make a stupid mistake, that's my problem. I guess it would be different if someone offered to drive me home, but most people want to be douchebags and take someone's keys and then leave them stranded. Fuck that.

Also, I'm female, so I don't like it when some dude insists that he should drive me home. Back off, buddy. I'm not letting some strange douche drive me home.

 

[Foreigner]

I've almost been killed twice from being in a car that was hit by a drunk driver. One of them had twice the legal limit in his blood. He was able to leave a bar barely unable to walk and get in his car. Nobody stopped him, not even the bar tender (which I guess wouldn't be legal anyway).

I support taking people's keys away. If someone is too stupid to prepare for a heavy night of drinking by having another way home, then they have it coming. It could save lives. I have very little respect for people who drive under the heavy influence of anything. It's testing fate.

 

[sigmond]

I think it is acceptable to take the keys but would recommend calling a cab or uber.

 

[O-pan-na]

Don't take someone's keys that you don't know it could cause an argument or fight between you and the other person. The best thing to do in a situation like that is to notify the bartender or manager on duty to plead with the person to call someone or an uber/taxi for transportation home. Most of the time the person will be extremely reluctant to let anyone tell them what to do especially while hammered. Best thing to do is notify someone that works there so that at least you tried to help someone stray away from driving drunk.

 

[Pretty_Diamonds]

I think it just depends on what kind of person you are and what type of relationship you have with that person. Like a poster above said, I'm a girl so I would feel very uncomfortable and possibly angered and scared if a stranger insisted on driving me home, especially if I was that intoxicated. My bf has been a bar manager for 7 years and I don't think he has ever taken someone's keys. If they are too intoxicated, he would usually just cut them off. It's way less messy than trying to take a drunk person's keys. >.<

I, personally wouldn't. I don't care too much about strangers. They are adults and I'm not their mother. However, if it was a close friend, I would and then force them to sleep at my place or give them a place to stay for the night. I think it's kind of fucked up to take someone's keys and not provide them with either a ride or place to crash.

I think it is acceptable to take the keys but would recommend calling a cab or uber.

Would you pay for it? Lol. It's kind of dick to do that and then the person has to pay for taxi fare to home, and then back into town, and then deal with possible towing fees, etc. I think they would hate you. Lol.

Don't take someone's keys that you don't know it could cause an argument or fight between you and the other person. The best thing to do in a situation like that is to notify the bartender or manager on duty to plead with the person to call someone or an uber/taxi for transportation home. Most of the time the person will be extremely reluctant to let anyone tell them what to do especially while hammered. Best thing to do is notify someone that works there so that at least you tried to help someone stray away from driving drunk.

What do you expect the bartender to do? I think most would just stop serving them.. but I honestly don't know anyone who would take someone's keys. It's not a easy thing to do when you think about it. I mean, the person literally has to give their keys to the bartender for that to work. And they have something like 50 drunk patrons to deal with during closing time so they don't have a whole lot of patience and time to devote to one drunk who refuses to give his keys.

 

[sigmond]

I provided a general answer to a question which depends on the situation. I don't think a bartender should ever have to step in and take someones keys. I suppose if you're out drinking in a city and your car is in paid parking lot it would be a difficult decision. House party should probably take the keys imo.

 

[thelung]

id definitely take a friends keys if they were smashed and obviously couldn't drive. but if they're just a little buzzed i wouldn't.

 

[GenericMind]

Only people you know. Because it's not really your place to judge someone's sobriety or ability to drive if you don't know their personality or how they act. I know some people who have a couple drinks and become wholeeee different people. To someone that doesn't know them you'd think "Wow they're acting WAY different than when I met them sober they must be hammered."

The only exception to that rule is if you see someone who clearly can't even walk or stand up that announces they're going to leave and drive. And even then I'd probably tell the bartender they should maybe take the keys and not interject myself into that person's business.

 

[Mmp85]

In that specific case I would have pulled whoever your friend was that brought her/ made her a friend of a friend aside and let them know what was up and ask them what to do. They probably know how to reason with them and what lines to draw.

And if it's serious enough that you think they're going to get a DUI or in an accident, do let the bartender know. Bars and even individual bartenders can get sued over accidents and even if it doesn't come to anything farfetched like that, a bar doesn't want to get a reputation for being that place that people leave and get arrested on the way home from. Bartenders usually have a mutually beneficial relationship with local cab companies, a bartender has a decent chance of getting her a free cab ride home.

Sorry that was long, I've worked in restaurants and bars and learned the standards of practice for dealing with drunks and I've also been the drunk girl the bartenders had to lure into the cab with a sandwich.

 

[Max Power]

I accidentally took my buddies' Black Keys record.

Does that count?

 

[nuttynutskin]

In that specific case I would have pulled whoever your friend was that brought her/ made her a friend of a friend aside and let them know what was up and ask them what to do. They probably know how to reason with them and what lines to draw.

And if it's serious enough that you think they're going to get a DUI or in an accident, do let the bartender know. Bars and even individual bartenders can get sued over accidents and even if it doesn't come to anything farfetched like that, a bar doesn't want to get a reputation for being that place that people leave and get arrested on the way home from. Bartenders usually have a mutually beneficial relationship with local cab companies, a bartender has a decent chance of getting her a free cab ride home.

Sorry that was long, I've worked in restaurants and bars and learned the standards of practice for dealing with drunks and I've also been the drunk girl the bartenders had to lure into the cab with a sandwich.

This. If they're someone you're close to it might be appropriate to take matters into your own hands, but a stranger? No. Like Generic basically said, if you tell the bartender then you're making so it's not your responsibility anymore. I'm generally not a fan of getting into other people's business and would probably only do it if I thought it was imminent that this person was going to cause a wreck, but I have called a cab on a friend who was hanging out with me that could barely even walk and wanted to ride his bike home. I likely saved him from crashing or weaving into traffic.

 

[SKL]

Only a friend, and only if I was prepared to spot him a cab ride home/to his hotel or whatever (which I generally would,) provided I could encourage him to take the ride. Otherwise I wouldn't take it to the extent where it might cause a physical confrontation, except perhaps with my very best friends, with whom a physical confrontation probably could've been diffused anyway.

Seeing a stranger walking out of the bar clearly wasted out of his mind and getting into his car, I think that the Right Thing To Do might be to stop him andtry and convince him to do otherwise, but I've never done that and probably wouldn't. We are very much as a culture socialized not to get into other people's business like that, and I think that for the most part that is a good thing ... although clearly in this case from a utilitarian perspective you might be missing the opportunity to convince someone not to do something dangerous.

However, I doubt that most drunks who are willing to do something as antisocial (in the clinical sense) as drive drunk are going to yield to a polite suggestion from a strange. Now, physically taking the keys of someone you aren't close to, however, is not really acceptable: pretty likely to cause a physical confrontation and also I think crosses some inviolable personal boundaries.

Now, somebody actually passed out at the bar, even a stranger, I might take the keys and give them to the bartender: not just to prevent him from driving but to prevent him from getting his car jacked.

 

[sigmond]

Seeing a stranger walking out of the bar clearly wasted out of his mind and getting into his car, I think that the Right Thing To Do might be to stop him andtry and convince him to do otherwise, but I've never done that and probably wouldn't. We are very much as a culture socialized not to get into other people's business like that, and I think that for the most part that is a good thing ... although clearly in this case from a utilitarian perspective you might be missing the opportunity to convince someone not to do something dangerous.

However, I doubt that most drunks who are willing to do something as antisocial (in the clinical sense) as drive drunk are going to yield to a polite suggestion from a strange. Now, physically taking the keys of someone you aren't close to, however, is not really acceptable: pretty likely to cause a physical confrontation and also I think crosses some inviolable personal boundaries.

yea, the guy might stab you..

 

[Felonious Monk]

Others have referenced the bartender--in America it is 100% the bartender's duty to not overserve patrons. They risk losing their license because of it.

For me it'd depend on the person, but I'm not above taking someone's keys. People, especially drunk people, are fucking stupid and they don't have the right to put the lives of other people in danger. If you chose to get hammered with no plan, that's your problem.

We live in the 21st century, if you can't afford an Uber home you have no right paying 500% markup for alcohol.

Edit: And for what it's worth, I'm pretty sure in most locations jotting down their license number and calling 911 would be justified if they're clearly too intoxicated to safely drive. Might be a dick move but I have zero sympathy for people who drink and drive.

 

[JessFR]

Would I take the keys of a drunk trusted friend if I thought not doing so might get them or someone else killed? Yes. Obviously I'd drive them home or pay for a taxi for them instead.

Would I take the keys of someone I didn't know? Very unlikely, and if they're male, not a chance, I don't want them to kill themselves or anyone else but I'm not putting myself at risk to do it when it's not my responsibility. Maybe if I had nobody in the world who loved or depended on me if something happened, then I might, but I do, so I wouldn't.

 

[Moreaux]

Others have referenced the bartender--in America it is 100% the bartender's duty to not overserve patrons. They risk losing their license because of it.

For me it'd depend on the person, but I'm not above taking someone's keys. People, especially drunk people, are fucking stupid and they don't have the right to put the lives of other people in danger. If you chose to get hammered with no plan, that's your problem.

We live in the 21st century, if you can't afford an Uber home you have no right paying 500% markup for alcohol.

Edit: And for what it's worth, I'm pretty sure in most locations jotting down their license number and calling 911 would be justified if they're clearly too intoxicated to safely drive. Might be a dick move but I have zero sympathy for people who drink and drive.

I agree. In my opinion, if someone is really smashed and decide to drive it's almost like attempted premeditated murder as they made the choice to drive. If someone is going to drink, they need to have a plan to get home. I have witnessed people barely able to walk get in their car and drive. I have absolutely called the cops. There is never an excuse to drive drunk. I understand that this seems harsh, but the brutal reality is that the drunk person is risking the life of every person they encounter on the road, and that is both horribly selfish and inexcusable. If you know someone is too drunk to drive, and you don't intervene, is it really more important to be the nice guy and go ahead and let them drive if they accidentally kill someone? Odds are, they're not even going to remember you trying to take their keys the night before. I would rather be the asshole that got someone in trouble than read about a family getting hit by a drunk driver the next day.