My 84 year old mom is a hospice volunteer and her latest patient is 102. This woman is mentally alert and engaged and while she hates her situation she is not depressed. She is often uncomfortable from being so sedentary since her last fall but she is not in pain per se. She lives in a small adult foster care house with 4 others that are also bedridden in their separate rooms. In the last years she has become almost completely blind and deaf. This means that she can neither read nor listen to audio, watch films or anything else to pass the time. She lives for visits and there are exactly two every week--one granddaughter and my mom. She barely sleeps so this means hour after hour of simply lying in bed with absolutely nothing to do--not even anything to look at.
I am visiting my mom so went with her yesterday to see this woman, M. M. said to my mom, "every single day I pray that I will die and yet my body just keeps on going." My mom said, "M., I pray for that, too." My mom has to get right next to her ear and literally yell to communicate. It makes M. wince because some of the sound is too loud and yet she can barely distinguish the words. Usually it takes about 3 tries and then she registers recognition and responds. When my mom said that she prays for this, too, M. laughed and squeezed my mom's hand and then cried. I felt so sad when we left, sad and helpless. This is an assisted suicide state (Oregon) and yet this woman has no right to it because she has no terminal illness. While I appreciate the complexity of assisted suicide, I felt angry that M. has to live on like this indefinitely. She doesn't want to and she certainly should have the right not to.