Hi,
So this is a stupidly long narrative on something that I'm quite worried but more confused about. If there's anyone out there who wouldn't mind putting up with so many words and giving me some insight into what's going on then I'd be very grateful. I'm a huge rookie when it comes to pills and any advice I've seen online on what's going on isn't specific enough.
So I took my first ecstasy pill this October. Since then I have admittedly been abusing them in that I take them too often (dropping maybe 3-4 times a month) and also rolling sometimes two days in a row, like this weekend just gone. I'm not going to pretend I'm any sort of expert on the whole subject/ecstasy and MDMA in general, I just pop the pills and see what happens, normally 2 pills at one (I started off with half/one but soon moved on to 2).
Last Friday I popped two pills slightly apart, one pink XTC pill and another light pink Louis Vuitton/LV pill a bit later. Was a great night though the come up and the high are never like they used to be, I had stomach cramps and felt a little too sober the whole way through, and later around 7 hours later I dabbed a fair bit of MDMA so I was still up when I tried to sleep around 1pm next day (Saturday).
Stupidly once I'd woken up again at 7pm I knew I was going out later that day, had a couple of drinks with mates then again over the course of the night popped another 1 and 1/2 of the XTC pills, and the high was pretty mediocre, didn't feel much even though I looked mashed. I smoked maybe 2g of weed over that night as well which made me feel quite strange as it normally does when I mix weed with pills.
So I already had a bit of a cough going on before I dropped that weekend, but on Sunday it's significantly worse. I can barely move and feel incredibly depressed, so much so that I end up staring into the corner of my room for an hour not moving. Obviously I'm on a comedown and decide to go to bed around midnight, but wake up with a banging headache and go get painkillers. Next thing I know I wake up both feeling very cold and shivering but also very feverish and shaky. I can barely move and it takes a huge amount of effort to get water by the side of my bed. I don't sleep that night but my stomach is cramping and I have some sort of tension headache that is making me feel sick, and I can't close my eyes anyway because that makes me see patterns behind my eyes and feel like I'm falling backwards.
Come 10am I'm a complete and utter pussy, crying because I can't mentally or physically will myself to move so feel paralysed, I end up getting my friend once I've managed to reach for my phone to call 111 (non emergency UK number) who recommend an ambulance is called. Ambulance staff say my temperature is way too high, at around 41-42 degrees Celsius, and my heartrate is well above normal, at around 120 bpm (my usual is around 90-100). They decide that I must have an infection and severe dehydration as well as the effects of the ecstasy, get me to move my legs etc, and send me to doctor who says I must have a viral infection not bacterial so no meds for me, recommends laxatives for my stomach (all I had eaten since Fri was 2 bowls of flakes, so my stomach was likely swollen due to constipation as well as the dehydration).
I'm at home now 'recovering'. It took a lot of effort for me to pack/get in the car to get driven home as I was very weak and felt sick when I walked, also my vision would black out whenever I'd stand up.
However I wouldn't be writing all this if the weirdest experience I have ever had had never happened. So a couple of nights ago I'm lying in bed on my side, thinking about this dude I was seeing not so long ago who happened to be pretty excellent in bed and always liked paying a lot of attention to my boobs and sucking on them which I liked. And then suddenly my boobs, parts of my back and arms are all tingling and this tingling turns into the hyper realistic feeling that this guy is there right now in my bed holding all these areas whilst he's on top of me sucking my boobs, and at that time I believe he's here and I arch my back up and moan and can hear him moaning too. My eyes were closed. Then after maybe 10 secs of me thoroughly enjoying myself I realise that fuck, this isn't possible, and freak out thinking maybe a man has broken into my room and is trying to rape me. Then it all suddenly zaps away like if you've ever had a lucid dream, and the shock of realising you're dreaming 'shocks' you out of dreaming.
I have a history of depression and OCD but never have I had psychosis/hallucinated before. It wasn't necessarily a bad experience and I actually liked it at first, but I was definitely awake as just before it occurred I remember thinking how I couldn't sleep, and I didn't have a fever at the time. I could actually feel and hear him on top of me in my bed. And I've generally been feeling a bit weird since the weekend, seeing shapes and patterns around me etc.
On top of this, particularly the day after the ambulance arrived, I would watch anything like a screen and suddenly my eyesight would blur as if my pupils were dilating and I'd get a sickening 'lurching' sensation, as if you're driving in a car and the speed fastens so suddenly that you're pressed backwards and everything blurs. So I had to avoid screens or my mobile etc for a while. It stills happens occasionally but it's more I in general have a headache most of the time.
Any idea what's going on? The hallucination thing particularly I can't really explain, it was honestly incredibly realistic. It felt a lot more solid then when I've say, had a fever and been hallucinating about something in my room - I didn't hear or feel anything then. I'm pretty positive I'll recover from how run-down my body is feeling right now but I won't be dropping for a good few months after this.
So this is a stupidly long narrative on something that I'm quite worried but more confused about. If there's anyone out there who wouldn't mind putting up with so many words and giving me some insight into what's going on then I'd be very grateful. I'm a huge rookie when it comes to pills and any advice I've seen online on what's going on isn't specific enough.
So I took my first ecstasy pill this October. Since then I have admittedly been abusing them in that I take them too often (dropping maybe 3-4 times a month) and also rolling sometimes two days in a row, like this weekend just gone. I'm not going to pretend I'm any sort of expert on the whole subject/ecstasy and MDMA in general, I just pop the pills and see what happens, normally 2 pills at one (I started off with half/one but soon moved on to 2).
Last Friday I popped two pills slightly apart, one pink XTC pill and another light pink Louis Vuitton/LV pill a bit later. Was a great night though the come up and the high are never like they used to be, I had stomach cramps and felt a little too sober the whole way through, and later around 7 hours later I dabbed a fair bit of MDMA so I was still up when I tried to sleep around 1pm next day (Saturday).
Stupidly once I'd woken up again at 7pm I knew I was going out later that day, had a couple of drinks with mates then again over the course of the night popped another 1 and 1/2 of the XTC pills, and the high was pretty mediocre, didn't feel much even though I looked mashed. I smoked maybe 2g of weed over that night as well which made me feel quite strange as it normally does when I mix weed with pills.
So I already had a bit of a cough going on before I dropped that weekend, but on Sunday it's significantly worse. I can barely move and feel incredibly depressed, so much so that I end up staring into the corner of my room for an hour not moving. Obviously I'm on a comedown and decide to go to bed around midnight, but wake up with a banging headache and go get painkillers. Next thing I know I wake up both feeling very cold and shivering but also very feverish and shaky. I can barely move and it takes a huge amount of effort to get water by the side of my bed. I don't sleep that night but my stomach is cramping and I have some sort of tension headache that is making me feel sick, and I can't close my eyes anyway because that makes me see patterns behind my eyes and feel like I'm falling backwards.
Come 10am I'm a complete and utter pussy, crying because I can't mentally or physically will myself to move so feel paralysed, I end up getting my friend once I've managed to reach for my phone to call 111 (non emergency UK number) who recommend an ambulance is called. Ambulance staff say my temperature is way too high, at around 41-42 degrees Celsius, and my heartrate is well above normal, at around 120 bpm (my usual is around 90-100). They decide that I must have an infection and severe dehydration as well as the effects of the ecstasy, get me to move my legs etc, and send me to doctor who says I must have a viral infection not bacterial so no meds for me, recommends laxatives for my stomach (all I had eaten since Fri was 2 bowls of flakes, so my stomach was likely swollen due to constipation as well as the dehydration).
I'm at home now 'recovering'. It took a lot of effort for me to pack/get in the car to get driven home as I was very weak and felt sick when I walked, also my vision would black out whenever I'd stand up.
However I wouldn't be writing all this if the weirdest experience I have ever had had never happened. So a couple of nights ago I'm lying in bed on my side, thinking about this dude I was seeing not so long ago who happened to be pretty excellent in bed and always liked paying a lot of attention to my boobs and sucking on them which I liked. And then suddenly my boobs, parts of my back and arms are all tingling and this tingling turns into the hyper realistic feeling that this guy is there right now in my bed holding all these areas whilst he's on top of me sucking my boobs, and at that time I believe he's here and I arch my back up and moan and can hear him moaning too. My eyes were closed. Then after maybe 10 secs of me thoroughly enjoying myself I realise that fuck, this isn't possible, and freak out thinking maybe a man has broken into my room and is trying to rape me. Then it all suddenly zaps away like if you've ever had a lucid dream, and the shock of realising you're dreaming 'shocks' you out of dreaming.
I have a history of depression and OCD but never have I had psychosis/hallucinated before. It wasn't necessarily a bad experience and I actually liked it at first, but I was definitely awake as just before it occurred I remember thinking how I couldn't sleep, and I didn't have a fever at the time. I could actually feel and hear him on top of me in my bed. And I've generally been feeling a bit weird since the weekend, seeing shapes and patterns around me etc.
On top of this, particularly the day after the ambulance arrived, I would watch anything like a screen and suddenly my eyesight would blur as if my pupils were dilating and I'd get a sickening 'lurching' sensation, as if you're driving in a car and the speed fastens so suddenly that you're pressed backwards and everything blurs. So I had to avoid screens or my mobile etc for a while. It stills happens occasionally but it's more I in general have a headache most of the time.
Any idea what's going on? The hallucination thing particularly I can't really explain, it was honestly incredibly realistic. It felt a lot more solid then when I've say, had a fever and been hallucinating about something in my room - I didn't hear or feel anything then. I'm pretty positive I'll recover from how run-down my body is feeling right now but I won't be dropping for a good few months after this.
