im three months sober

[infantannihilator]

ive been good

but i had a dream the other night.. it basically reinforced all the folleys of shooting coke and my inability to now that ive gotten things in order (read: caring about my life, work, family, and being a real person)

I look a milliom times better, and so does my bank account.. but I cant help but prod at veins that are popping that I once thought were near dead and imagine that mind blowing rush again

 

[Moreaux]

Great job! Keep focused on your goals, and be mindful of your triggers (i.e. healthy available veins). Acknowledge the trigger but don't allow yourself to reminisce too long about the glory days, try to create an association from the trigger to some of the lowest moments your addiction brought you. You know if you start using again you'll forever be chasing the first few good highs, and it never ends well. Cravings are temporary, and sober life gets better with each additional day sober. Again, kudos for all your hard work and success and stay strong!

 

[Jabberwocky]

Bravo! While everyone is certainly different given one's DOC, habit, history of trauma, circumstances, etc., to put things in a little perspective, just you wait OP - in 38 years you'll be having a craving at the rate of maybe, maybe once every two or three years tops

 

[Jabberwocky]

Great job! Keep focused on your goals, and be mindful of your triggers (i.e. healthy available veins). Acknowledge the trigger but don't allow yourself to reminisce too long about the glory days, try to create an association from the trigger to some of the lowest moments your addiction brought you. You know if you start using again you'll forever be chasing the first few good highs, and it never ends well. Cravings are temporary, and sober life gets better with each additional day sober. Again, kudos for all your hard work and success and stay strong!

Reminds me of what I heard a doctor say at rehab...."play the tape", remember the bad things your doc brought. That in itself keeps me in check

 

[infantannihilator]

Great job! Keep focused on your goals, and be mindful of your triggers (i.e. healthy available veins). Acknowledge the trigger but don't allow yourself to reminisce too long about the glory days, try to create an association from the trigger to some of the lowest moments your addiction brought you. You know if you start using again you'll forever be chasing the first few good highs, and it never ends well. Cravings are temporary, and sober life gets better with each additional day sober. Again, kudos for all your hard work and success and stay strong!

honestly, I got lucky. I lost my job and was looking at homelessness again after a psychotic break from using serquel as a comedown. i slashed my arms up,and theyre still really scarred but ive learned to live with it.. though I find myself crossing myarms a lot to hide them. in a moment of utter disparity i talked to my dad finaly who I hadnt in years and he agreed to let me move in. Im in the sticks now and totally isolated since I dont drive anymore.

I can no longer on a whim feed into my desires and callmydrug dealer and grab within an hour, nor can I get supplies.. however I can now afford high quality darknet stuff.. and I guess I fear that when I move out I may be even more tempted since I'll have one less barrier

ots knuckle biting lust.. it brought me to the brink of death a few times, yet i still want it! I guess I can only relate it to some extreme sports stuff, that glory feeling of doing something so close to the edge, that you did it and survived.. however hitting a turn on a motocycle at 100mph is a totally different animal than waking up from a seizure with a dislocated shoulder and blood everywhere.

Ill be here for a while, and Ill continue to focus on work and becoming the real person I am, and I hope when it comes time to be a real adult again that Ill have further squashed the power of reminisce and not fall back into it..because I know it's just a chase..

 

[Moreaux]

It does get easier. I have a little over two years and am doing much better at adulting. Try to stay focused and remember difficult times happen and are temporary. Find ways to stay motivated and push through the stuff you don't want to do. There is a sense of accomplishment at the end of the day when you do fulfill your obligations, and it does eventually get easier. It takes time to learn how to accept and deal with life without getting high. I found by the one year mark it was significantly easier, and by the two year mark I'm almost like a normal person, though I still have my moments where I struggle. Exercise and deep breathing helps tremendously in difficult moments.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Adulting!!! Never heard that before. What an awesome word!!!

 

[infantannihilator]

into mid august and still going strong

drinking a bit more than id like to but its not affecting me and lifes looking up aside frkm relatonship type shit lol! getting my GED in january, then hopefully my macinist license. Ive got over 8 years experience in machining so a license is a good thing. im hoping to get a work visa overseas after

 

[Amaraline]

Awesome! Congrats on sticking with it. It will get easier, believe me. I have nearly a year off IV heroin, and at the beginning, I felt like I was leaping into an unknown void. Now,I feel very blessed to be free of a drug that had me firmly in its grip for almost 20 years. As more time passes, you won't believe the things you can accomplish, as compared to before. It really is a miracle, the difference you end up seeing. Just hang in there, and remember you don't want to go back to the misery!

 

[d3athadone]

I just had had a dream last night was shooting pills. Today Im like ahhhhhhh! Tis only been 3 weeks for me. Just be careful man. THey say it gets easier. Thats the ticket! Its a rocky boat but its our only saving grace in this dangerous ocean. I don't think you should be drinking bro. Just a feeling. What if you get too drunk and are like fuck it? I've done that before. I only drink when I go out now. WHich is basically never.