Im an alcoholic???

[Lndnrb_144]

Everytime I drink i I binge, I can't just have one or two, sometimes I'll drink every day for a week, the longest I go with out drinking is a week or two and then I'll binge, usually a couple days in a row. Sometimes I drink socially but I still end up drinking too much because I'm uncomfortable around people. When I drink alone it's usually because I'm bored or I'm stressed or sad, either way my goal is always to drink until I can't feel anything. My goal is to be numb. I try to drink until I pass out because really I just want to pass the time feeling as little as possible. I hate myself when I'm sober so I drink because I can't stand myself and I can't be around other people because I'm so insecure. But then when I'm drunk I do/say stupid shit and once I'm sober I regret it. And I hate myself and that makes me drink more. A couple days ago I went to work drunk and my manager found out. I thought for sure I was going to get fired but she just kept asking me if I was okay and she hugged me because she said it looked like I needed it. People keep telling me they think I have a problem. I don't know what to do. I know I drink too much but I don't have any other coping mechanisms. I don't have anyone to talk to. Idek why I'm here in just venting i guess. I'm angry at myself and my life. I'd rather be dead but I can't kill myself so I'm just stuck drinking to numb it all. Drinking is an instinct at this point. When I'm upset I'll go buy a bottle of vodka and I won't realise what I'm doing until I'm at home pouring a glass. It's like breathing, it just happens. It's getting harder and harder to hide/deny its a problem. It used to be easy,, I just said that since I can go without drinking for a couple weeks it can't be a problem. But now it's almost every day and it causes problems at work and costs so much money and I hate myself and don't know what to do

 

[Cdkman]

Alcoholic like the word addict is just a label..all labels are relative so it depends on the experiences and beliefs of the person labeling the person with the problem..it is obviously a problem for u and that's all that matters..I know it's hard I struggle with opiates just as u struggle with alcohol.instead of the thinking too far ahead or in the past focus on the present moment..you will not stop overnight but just cutting down the amount and/or frequency u drink is a start..drinking is not the true problem here it's making your life when your sober something u can be proud of so u don't need to numb out..best of luck my friend

 

[Moreaux]

If you find you are asking yourself that question then alcohol is most likely a problem for you. Your story sounds very similar to mine except I stayed in denial for years and the alcoholism just kept getting worse.

Yes, you need to learn how to cope with stress and anxiety without booze. Look into mindfulness and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). I was a hard alcoholic for 17 years and CBT helped me learn how to manage life while sober - I now have two years clean, though instruggled for years and chronically relapsed because I couldn't deal with life. Try to eat healthy and get adequate sleep. Definitely consider therapy - you need to address the underlying issues motivating you to drink.

If you can go week without booze consider getting naltrexone or better, the Vivitrol shot - it halos with cravings. If you experience a craving have something sweet like candy or juice - it really helps. You may find you have a lot of cravings early on - keep indulging in sweets instead of booze. You're body is used to the flood of sugar alcohol provides and it will be hard to just stop cold turkey without sugar. Sugar in and of itself is a little addicting so stopping drinking is like stopping two habits. Don't worry about weight, since you're binge drinking you probably won't replace all your drink calories with sugar, and your sugar consumption with drastically diminish within a month. When I first quit drinking I ate six snickers bars a night and it slowly dwindled down to one rational dessert and evening.

Let me know if you have questions - stopping drinking is hard but not impossible. Good luck!