I tried talking to my mom tonite about XTC and raving...

S

*SWeeT-e*

Bluelighter
Joined
Dec 19, 1999
Messages
1,791
Bad, bad idea.
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Don't know how any of your parents deal with the situation, but it's been an ongoing huge fight in my house ever since my sister and I started partying this summer (she's 17 and still living at home, I'm 19 and moved out, thank god!)
My sis and I always lie to my parents whenever we party cuz we know they'll be so against it, but I HATE lying!! I want so much to be honest with them and I know they know anywayz (ya can't really hide the fact when ya come home with huge pupils and sleep all day on Sundays!)
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So...tonite I called her and laid it alllll out for her: why I go, why I *love* raving so much, why I take xtc occasionally, responsibly, and in moderation... hoping she's gonna have an open mind about all this...
But no. She is very religious and has her ideas already completely formed and not open to change. Drugs are BAD. Staying out all night is EVIL. If you do drugs you must be trying to escape from reality and cover up your problems. She actually told me because I use xtc, I will end up being a heroin junkie (??????). Because I go to raves occasionally this also means I do nothing positive in my life and will go nowhere. She has said much more but no need for details, I've made my point.
She's trying to ship my sister (who's 17) off to a boarding school in Italy in 3 weeks to get her away from my evil "influence", she says I am nothing but a "problem" in our family... all because of raves!!
I thought I could talk to her and help her understand something that is such a big and important part of my life, something I *love* doing, and NOT for the drugs!! I guess I was wrong and have only made the situation worse for my sister at home.
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I am so lost... is there any solution to the problem?
PLUR,
kimmy.
 
i understand how you feel...my partents would be the same way...that is why i don;t tell them ...some things are just better left unsaid.....
anyway, my parents think that a rave is a "techno concert"..haha
but anyway...heres my advice...this worked for a friend who was in the same situation as you....
let your mom go on your computer....leave the room...and let her read through all the blue light posts...let her sit on the comp for a while just readin what people have to say....
let her understnad how people act and how mu ch love there is....
let her read how people get pissed off at eachother when we find out others are doing too many pills....we look out for eachother....and care about eachother...even though many of us have never met...
she needs to see it for herself...we are a differnt generation and we have differnt life styles...maybe if she reads it she will respect your desicions and as long as you are responsible then she can hopefully understand
let her read it herself so she knows its not about the drugs..that its about the friendships, the love, the unity and all that other PLUR stuff....
hey it might not work for you , but its a start...it worked for my buddy , i can email him for you if you wanna talk to him about it..
good luck.
peace
 
Ohhhh, That sucks, I dont know really what to say because it is really hard to try to convince parents if they are super set in there ways. I cant offer much advice because my parent know about everything that i do and get into I am very open with them. But that is just becaus ethey KNOW that I will be responsible and if i go out and, get fucked up and cant drive they know i wont. I guess you have to get your parents to trust that you are a responsible person before you can be open about that sort of thing. Hell, I work 2 jobs tuesday through friday and on job for 5 hours on monday, And My parents think That if I dont go out and party on the weekend there is something wrong with me cuz according to them, "I work real hard and deserve to have some fun in my free time and meet new peeps"
Trust is the first step.
And I totally know how you feel girl, about your sister, The WI goverment is removing my lil brother from the home for 5 moths for psycological evaluation for something he did not do! and this happens to be happining on thursday, my dads birthday.
Keep your head up girl!
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MaD LoVin, Jessiy
 
tellin your mom about you doing e???
baaaaaaad move
especially since your little sis is involved
tellin your mom youre doin chems and expecting her to not only tolerate this but smile about it and still let you go as if nothing happened (and your sister too) is a bit too much
how do you expect her to let your sis go with you if you're doing e with her. that IS bad influence
i donno your sis, maybe she goes sober. but she sees you high on e, she might get tempted some day and try it.
you didnt have to tell your mom tha whole truth
before my mom found out, i was tellin her that i'm going to concerts. but instead of guitars and singers, there are dj's
which is all true.. but i didnt mention the word "rave"
btw, about religious ppl and drugs,
my friend works at an orthodox-very-religious guy's house
the guy's son, who is also very religious, (he's about 20 years old) smokes pot daily and drops e's occasionally
i dont think his relationship with god gets worse because of a little weed and e
 
haha, that's so funny, my parents think a rave is a "techno concert" too! haha, i told them that a bunch of dj's set up different stages for different kinds of music as a concert. yeah, most parents will NEVER understand no matter what you say or do, so you must NEVER tell them. but since you did, you must feel the wrath of OVERPROTECTIVE, RELIGIOUS FREAK, CONFUSED, IGNORANT, CLOSE MINDED, BORING parents. they love you, but they're just clueless. does something happen to people when they get old? do we have to become this way? i hope i can be different...but i guess i'm on my way by adopting *raving* into my life and enjoying something that is different from the norm...
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:)**LIFE'S SHORT, CLENCH HARD!!**:)
 
it is funny to me..that people can be so fast as do judge others on there behavior....Because you are going to Raves..your mother is judging you......then again....you ahve to look at it from your mothers perspective.....she ahs never been to a party....all the bad rap raves get on the news, etc...has influenced her thinking......She probably sees you as the older sister....taking the younger one out to these horrible rave things she ahs heard so much about...and doing drugs....(heaven forbit drugs are used for a mystical perpase...(and i do believe raves are mystical experiences...
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it is a shame....so very ahrd to express your feelings and discuss raves (anything for that matter) with people that have diffrent ways of looking a things....
i am a very lucky induvidual..to have a mother who can respect me for who i am..
..my mom, at first had a hard time udnerstanding raves and drugs....but after many talks...she has a better view on them....but it is not the same for others....
i aplaude you for being honest and for trying to let your mother see
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) I do not believe that there is a solution to the problem??...!! except that your mother might never see it the way you do?.....Try to talk to her again....(which just might make it worse...)...i wish i could offer better advice Sweet-E...but i really..even though this is a sad thign to say.....don't feel there is a solution....respect?....you respect her for her beliefs.....why can't she respect yours......i think it is a circle...
*hugs*
aymi
 
i talked to my mom about it yesterday, i told her i took ecstasy every week, and that i do it responsibly and in moderation. She seemed to take it well considering, my mom doesnt mind that much as i have been smoking cones the last 6 years and have quit that, as ecstasy is not as bad as dope. I dont think it sunk in that i did it until i said, how do you think i drive home every weekend at 6:30 in the morning without being DD. She then clicked on to how long id been on ecstasy for and she looked a little worried. I Explained its a safe drug and if she wanted any info visit the www.ecstasy.org site so she can check it out for herself
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happy raving hope your not too much in the shit with your mom.
 
if you ever need to talk, just let me know.
Its really really unfortunate how parents get the wrong ideas about these things by simply watching a stupid news show which never correctly portrays raves for what they are. Thats really unfortunate about your sister too.
I personally believe in a higher power, but I don't believe in all this hardcore religious shit. I think that these people who follow God so closely through churches and religion are just being brainwashed into beliveing what somebody else wants you to believve but they don't give you the chance to generate your own feelings and opinions and work them in what others believe.
I think its bullshit, and you should pray to God (my type of God) that you don't likve at home anymore cause its just way too much.
Personally, I think you sister may have been a bit too young for this scene. But thats just me cause I am an advocate of the 18 - 25 age group.
Anyways, bottom line is this:
your bluelighter friends love you, and if you ever need to talk or need some advice, then just let me know.
the doctor
PS: My pics are up on the bluelighter pic page (I am ooo happy)
www.mindspring.com/~fostern
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If it seems as if I can roll harder than others, it is only because I have rolled on the shoulders of giants
 
My mom and I were at a TGIFs with her best friend drinking, and I got a little drunk and told her about my E habit. I told her what it felt like and how much it cost and everything was cool. She even said I should get one for my father so he wouldn't be such a type A person for awhile. The next day my father shows up at my house bitching about how much money I was spending on E, and that drugs were a copout. I'm fuckin 28 years old, with a good job, I own my house, a jeep, a truck, a jet-ski,I pay my own bills; and he's bitching about a few tabs.(He really would have been pissed if he knew how much I was spending on cola at the time
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)
So I called my mom up and told her I would NEVER tell her anything again, if she couldn't keep her mouth shut. I caught shit all summer from that. I just played it off that I quit, and after a while, nobody remembered.
Sometimes parents just forget what it was like to be young. I hope I don't. I hope my kids can tell me anything, so I can help them out if they really need it. Experimenting is part of growing up. Without it, most of us guys would have never had that threesome with our girlfriends, and their best friend,
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back in high school.
Just blow it off for now, and "act" like your mom wants you to be. You might feel like your being dishonest, but you found out were telling her the truth got you.
[This message has been edited by Rotten (edited 12 January 2000).]
[This message has been edited by Rotten (edited 12 January 2000).]
 
I give up on trying to edit my spelling mistakes, I can't fucking spell without MS Word.
 
By telling your parents I think you are showing that you are deff growing up and mature... when i was in high school i would tell my parents that I was going to "safe dances" where no one was drinking and there wasnt any bad gang things going on... my parents would go on and like telling my grandparents and aunts and stuff about how proud they were of their little daughter being responsible for going to these things... they are still kinda funny about it.. I am a college and working on my thesis, dealing with drugs and society and the blasted generation-x hehee... how fitting the name actually is. but so i came out to my parents after 6 years now, and said look there is nothing you can tell me that i havent researched myself blue in the face over, you know i am a good kid, but i am a better person for being honest with you and trusting you to trust me. then they were like we arent happy, we dont condone it, but it is your decision and it is obvious you can be safe with it. BTW, my background with these parents of mine has been hell through 6 trips to rehab for coke, so its not like they started out thinking i was an angel.. anyway all the best to you, prove to your parents you are responsible, and actually be a good role model for your sister... let your parents know that your sister is her own person, if they are angry at you then let them be angry at you, keep your sister out of it.
x2k
 
Boarding school in Italy...well, raves and such are more common over there...blessing in disguise for your sis in a way. Too bad your mother blew up over your 'confession'. I found that it's best to just keep things quiet if you can, and maybe lead up to it somehow if necessary.
 
Thanks guys, yer the best.
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I'm glad to see I'm not the only one to go through this and thanx for all your support and advice.
See, I KNEW that my mom would react this way, that's why I tried to avoid telling her. Trust me, I lied for a long long time. I hated lying the whole time and wanted to be honest, but I knew if I was, this exact thing would happen.
Problem is, my mom's damn nosy. She has gone through my things in my room and my sister's. She has read both of our journals before. She read my sister's icq. She reads letters she finds between my sister and I. Anything she can get her hands on, and she figures this is justifiable because what we are doing (by going to raves and doing e) is far FAR worse than her snooping.
So you see, she knew everything the whole time. My sister has been grounded before, for 6 WEEKS she wasn't allowed to leave the house past 6pm ANY DAY because she went to ONE rave, and she TOLD my parents where she was going so she would feel safer!!!
I thought by bringing all this out into the open I could help my mom see why I party and how it is not as bad as she thinks. I thought she might understand better and open her mind. I thought I could help the situation at home between my parents and my sister. But nothing seems to work, I don't think things will ever change unfortunately.
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This is what comes of narrow minds and prejudiced thinking- divided families.
PLUR,
kimmy
 
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