Stimulants I sold my soul to Crystal Meth

[ThatSpaceyKid]

I am so lost and confused at this moment... The debaucbery has already begun. I am paranoid and on edge all the time. I am a failed burnout. I am a disappointment... I am so estranged from the world and too far gone.
7 years ago I sold my soul to crystal meth. She is my disaster. I am walking chaos. Ever since then... I have experienced strange things. My soul lives to use meth. I prefer to IV use it. I have IV drugs since I was 19. And used them since I was 16... I have experienced a fall. I was born into this world broken.... I am bad luck. I am the son of darkness... I shit you not I was born at the dead of night at 3:04 am. I know I am not schitzo because this deep connection to the spiritual realm has been present since before...
I have rebelled against God. These days I Sin and Sin. I have a strong attraction to the occult and such things... I have done some awful things... I want to bring up this strange ostracism that I have been dealing with. I feel like I am black listed or some thing.... Maybe I am just simply self absorbed....

But I know... I am occupied by legions and legions of the beginning and the end. Using meth and needles.. As well as a hard life.... And abuse.... And neglect. Suicide. And sexual sins.... I know there is definitely some thing evil that lingers.. I have noticed how people look at me with this mortified, sad, scared, and look of disbelief.. Or at times I notice random people are glaring at me and snarling at me. I am not invited out. I am not approached. I notice my presence brings silence or it causes discomfort and panic... No one asks about my past or socializes with me. My own family avoids me... If some one is near me often... Such as my coworker, family, friends, etc.... There life gets darker.... They too start experiencing bad luck. They become somber and negative. They end up quitting work or transferring departments.... My mother will not be alone with me. My father will cancel plans along with my brother and sister just to be here with us. Appliances at my house keep breaking...... The water heater and the heater mainly.

My parents are unable to complete projects around the house. Our wifi is jacked up and goes off and on often. Our house is really cold at times. My aura is heavy and sad... Its like I have been forgotten.... I just wish to die most days.... When someone first meets me we hit it off well... But all of a sudden and without reason... They begin to avoid me.... Or ignore me... I notice animals stare at me. At times even causing them to tremble...

I am so confused....

 

[Opi_Kid_Rock]

Psychosis from long-term Meth use. Inpatient treatment is a first step.

 

[KS78]

You are just addicted and possibly in the middle of a psychosis and suffer from depression which is exacerbated by long term abuse of methamphetamine.

This has nothing to do with mysterious, magical, almighty things up in the sky.
Addiction is possibly the reason for most of your mental and family issues.
If you want, you could get in touch with some health professionals and addiction specialists in order to solve your problem or at least get it under control, also get more in touch with reality.

 

[Zonxx]

you need to get ahold of yourself, how long have you been awake, surely more than a few days, if you need any support shoot me a pm. i'll support you so much you'll probably overdose on my support, but the first step is cutting back, you need to do that, you didn't mention physical issues from the meth, thats a really good thing i can't begin to list why, but there's hope, trust me, lots of hope, you surely just need to open your eyes alittle because theyre closed right now, which is why you see so much darkness... i'll help you open them if you're up to do it, but you have to want to change to change, no one can do it for you, that doesn't entirely mean giving up using drugs, it means using in a different fashion. i don't believe in 'sobriety' but moderation i do believe in. PM me i'll be glad to talk with you.

 

[Painful One]

Come on home to The Light.
We miss you and we love you. Unconditionally.

Kick off the sin. Repent. Accept forgiveness.
Let go of this heavy, heavy baggage you are carrying.
just drop it. It is breaking your backbone.
kick out the Darkness and let in the Light!

Stop thinking all these negative thoughts about yourself.
Think good thoughts, beautiful things about yourself.
Let your natural Shine come through.

Reclaim yourself from crystal meth!
Give that shit the death blow.

Awaken to a New World.
Come Home!
We miss you!

 

[Meth novice 79]

I just love how supportive everyone is here!
You’re in the right place, now to follow the advice of those above so you can move forward.

In treatment will get you sufficiently sedated to get some much needed sleep, just commit to a 30 day program and let the professionals do what they do best.
They’ll take care of you and make the come down less nasty.

Best of luck!

 

[d1nach]

Maybe God wants you to get treatment because im athiest but i believe even god and jesus needed help sometimes. I think Noah built the arc to save the animals from dying in the flood (a pretty dark time). Maybe you need nonspiritual interventions like nurses at a hospital, doctors, medications, and therapy ect.to save you from dying in a pretty dark time.

 

[8ft-Sativa]

My viewpoint is all that occult /electricity/random coincidence stuff sound EXACTLY like meth psychosis.

Exactly bro..... Like textbook case.

I would hit up those people above who posted above offering advice.

How old are you bro?.....

Just curious to gain more perspective.

 

[8ft-Sativa]

Your 23 I'm guessing...... At your age I was also a mess..... I'm 34 now and shits great.

Again message those posters above...... They seem legit.

 

[Lucy20]

Sounds exactly like 5+ days of meth