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I really need advice. :(

boopityy

Greenlighter
Joined
Apr 17, 2015
Messages
2
Hello everyone.

I have been with my sweetheart for 2 years now. We bet online, we were talking for 1 year texting and video cam and it was amazing felt amazing connection. Then i moved to a place next to her town looking for job there and she was visiting, to see if in reality we would be as great as, and it was as great. I felt and still feel she is the one for me, the love of my life. The good thing is that we always felt the same way, we grew our feelings together she loves me as much as i do.

After 6 months we moved together and we have fun and so much in common. As all couples though we have problems. We rarely fight and that's good and we are comfortable with each other, but maybe too comfortable. (and i don't know why too comfortable is bad). Also we have never lied to each other about anything and we tell each other everything. Because even if something might hurt the other person, its better than keeping secrets that are ruining our lives. So far this works great and we have a true and sincere relationship.

The problem is that its both our first relationship so we don't know how to do stuff right so i feel that we will end up breaking up. We don't know how to be romantic with each other and even though i try to compliment her, she never accepts them because she thinks she is not attractive enough but i keep telling her stuff and i believe them.

The biggest problem is sex. We never had proper sex because it is always hurting after a while, so every time we have i just let her go her pace until in like 5 minutes that it starts hurting. We prepare before and we make sure that she is ready to have. But by now i think i made sex for her a hurtful experience in her mind. We are masturbating separately but we are open with that and whenever i try to pleasure he with the mouth and she never feels that good and i end up with a hurting jaw, she also never puts finger inside just rubs clitoris, it even hurts her to put 2 fingers inside even alone.

Even though i have done a lot of research and tried many stuff can't find solution. We don't want to get experience after we break up and we just appreciate what we have right now. It drives me crazy that nothing is working.

She now told me that she doesn't feel that sexually attracted to me as she used to (she says its not me or some change on me) but she still loves me very much and wants to find solution because she doesn't want to loose me. And i feel the same way like the spark is going away because we don't work that hard in our relationship and just have fun doing stuff together. We need to find a way to bring the spark back because without sex its really hard and we never really had the real spark. Just many failed attempts. We always use condoms and when we use lube it just burns her a lot.

We don't have experience so she doesn't know how to seduce me (and she thinks its silly) and even if i know stuff . She doesn't even bother to shave now for me only for when we go out clubbing because as i said we are maybe too comfortable.

Please help me I am going crazy, i love her more than anything and she loves me too very much and it would be such a waste. I am sure i won't find the same connection with another person, and i don't want to. But our inexperience is going to eventually ruin us. icon_frown.gif


Do you guys think that her hymen is still intact? Because even from the first time (and always) i was always going at her pace slowly so i wont hurt her so we never really had fast or hard sex.

 
that's tough with the gap as far as maturity on all levels. it may be helpful to seek professional help through therapy, may be psychological for her, or medical doctor if there is a real problem with either or you two.

any bad family history you can think of on her side?
 
There is a medical condition which could be the issue here,- where the vagina doesn't relax & the sex is awfully painful.

You say you never really had "the spark", & that even applying lube hurts. There's likely physiological as well as psychological aspects going on here.

Lack of experience doesn't equal lack of "seduction". A lady doesn't need to know the art of seduction to turn her boyfriend on. Generally just a welcome touch can be enough.

You're both quite young, have you contemplated that it may just not be working for you two?

Rtp
 
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