I love her, but I don't know if she loves me just as much

[wikiidgremlin]

I have a problem. There's a girl in my life on and off for the past 8 years or so. When we first met, we just locked eyes and smiled...I knew she was the one for me. After talking to her, my feelings were reaffirmed (seriously, no pun intended.) We hung out for awhile, just as friends going to parties and clubs together. No sex, I think we might have made out once. She's been with other guys, me with other girls, but I was never able to begin a real relationship with any of them, because I am totally in love with this girl. She's the only one I want, but I'm "friendzoned", or so I think. We lost contact a couple years ago, and I thought that she was completely out of my life. I was sad, but I chalked it up to a loss, as I've found it commonplace to not be able to hold onto the people or possessions that I love dearly. Then, a little over a week ago, she called me out of the blue. She told me she found my number on facebook. We were supposed to hang out for the first time in years two weekends ago, but for whatever reason it fell through. I've been talking to her about every 2 or 3 days since. She wanted me to go to a wake for a mutual friend yesterday, but I felt like shit, and it was held at the same funeral parlor as my ex-fiance's services, and I didn't want old feelings to boil to the surface again. I'm going to call her tomorrow to see how the services went. My question is this: Does she love me as much as I love her? I think she does, but how can I tell? I want to ask her straight up, but I don't want to scare her away...

 

[Pretty_Diamonds]

Easy there.. I would suggest to take it slow. Hang out with her more. Get to know her. Take her to the movies, a nice restaurant (nothing too fancy), pick up the bill everytime. That was really makes it a "date" vs two friends going to see a movie/ go to dinner. Also, it'll give her the hint that you like her since you're paying for all the "dates" and want to "treat her".

 

[alasdairm]

how do you measure love?

alasdair

 

[gmlifer]

sounds like you're jumping the gun. Have you ever told her how you feel?

 

[placid space]

You think youve made out once? You dont forget that, youre talking about a girl you love and making out with her only once. That would be carved into your memory like into a stone.
I wouldnt go too slow she'll just meet someone else inbetween and again youre the friend shes talking to him about her bf. And youll want to put your head through a wall. But i wouldnt tell her you love her. That IMO ruins the moment completely. Like suggested either make date nights, so its clear you want it to be a date or try to read into her behaviour when hanging out and if you think shes also interested, go for it, women love decisive guys. And then tell her youd "Like to try something more" or sth like that. I wouldnt go directly to I love you, might scare her off. But then again, you know her best.
IMHO Id say there is probably something there, calling you out of the blue after all this time without a bf, doesnt seem just a friend kinda of thing but who knows. She might not be admitting it to herself even.

 

[wikiidgremlin]

Thanks guys and gals, I really appreciate the input, it's helped immensely...I think I'll make good on the advice and continue to take it slowly with her. I called her this morning to see how the services went...she didn't pick up, but she normally calls me back within a couple hours if she sees a missed call from me. We just started talking again, so you peeps are right, I need to tread carefully and take it slow. Diving in headfirst would be very unwise, I need to test the temp of the waters first. Her and I definitely have chemistry, that's for sure.