champagnencocaine
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Jun 17, 2017
- Messages
- 17
Really I have no clue whats going on with me and drugs, I just can't really get high any more, it's frustrating me because it could be many things, I find the anxiety is building up because I haven't got high in a while, I think it could be psychosis or anxiety, my eyes are wide when I look in the mirror. I feel emotionally numb and confused about my emotions, there's just this sense of dullness with every drug I take, it could be dopamine depletion though, I definitely feel different to what I used to when I started taking drugs.
I find even MDMA not to be fulfilling anymore, like building up for an orgasm but not releasing, it's a tease because you feel good but you want to get over that barrier and be in heaven, really only once or twice have i rolled, since then i've lost the magic, it is probably methylone though - so disappointing. I want the old days back where I used to bite my lips, red raw lips, jaw clenching etc. Now it just feels positive like a a strong antidepressant.
I find even speed doesn't really feel like it used to, the desire, motivation, horniness is there, but the high isn't.
Since these antidepressants my mood has been very neutral, I don't have lows or highs like I used to.
It could be...
- dopamine depletion
- psychosis
- anxiety
- shitty drugs
- damaged serotonin receptors
- dopamine receptor downregulation
- depression
- tolerance (because speed tolerance effects MDMA)
Before Mirtazapine I used to be able to get high, my lows have improved which is good, but I prefer being more bipolar than I am now, even though amphetamine put me in a hellish crash cycle + depression I preferred that over this emotional neutrality that I have now, life isn't life anymore.
I find even MDMA not to be fulfilling anymore, like building up for an orgasm but not releasing, it's a tease because you feel good but you want to get over that barrier and be in heaven, really only once or twice have i rolled, since then i've lost the magic, it is probably methylone though - so disappointing. I want the old days back where I used to bite my lips, red raw lips, jaw clenching etc. Now it just feels positive like a a strong antidepressant.
I find even speed doesn't really feel like it used to, the desire, motivation, horniness is there, but the high isn't.
Since these antidepressants my mood has been very neutral, I don't have lows or highs like I used to.
It could be...
- dopamine depletion
- psychosis
- anxiety
- shitty drugs
- damaged serotonin receptors
- dopamine receptor downregulation
- depression
- tolerance (because speed tolerance effects MDMA)
Before Mirtazapine I used to be able to get high, my lows have improved which is good, but I prefer being more bipolar than I am now, even though amphetamine put me in a hellish crash cycle + depression I preferred that over this emotional neutrality that I have now, life isn't life anymore.
