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I feel like the only Heroin addict that leads a normal life.....sorta

S

Supersonicalleycat

Greenlighter
Joined
Jan 9, 2018
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So I'm new here so hello everyone but I'm glad I found u guys. It's hard to talk to my dope friends about this bc not one of them is like me. I'm 36 and been doing H for 10 yrs. Now in the very beginning I started off like most with eating pills, then snorting pills, to snorting H to shooting it. My life fell apart and went to rehab after about 4 years of full time using. Got clean for 2 yrs working the program then moved from New York to San Diego. Relapsed here like right away but there was somethijng about NA out here that rubbed me the wrong way then I thought of something. Instead of how it is in the rooms where u surrender to the program I just surrendered to my drug. I looked at myself just like the guy that works all day then drinks a 6pack when he gets home. I told myself I'm probably gonna be a Heroin addict for the rest of my life unless I get sick of it like I did coke. I noticed i could go about 12 hrs in between shots before I started getting sick. I'm talking in west coast terms doing about .40 each shot or 4 bags each shot NY style. . When I started doing this about 4 years ago I swear on everything I have, that the drug stopped working against me and started working FOR me. I've been working the same profession for 14 yrs. In the past I would go from company to company in the same trade bc I would fuck it up somehow. Last 4 years I've been at the same job.and been sort of in trouble 1 time not drug related, and called in sick not one time. Pay my own rent and bills and recently dropped 4grand deposit down on one of my dream cars. Cadillac CTS coupe. I am super fucking disciplined. I'm not saying I don't slip up and do a little more dope than usual but in this time I've never had to sell my personal shit, if I get a front I pay it back, or haven't had to steal something from someone and sell it on CL. There are some weeks when I'm almost broke when coming up on payday eapecially since this new car. But living a normal life while being a junkie is possible. Now I'm a former Army Ranger with 3 tours under my belt so me and discipline go together like pigs and shit but cmon.....anyone can teach themselves discipline. I'd rather do 2 maybe 3 huge fucking shots a day than 6 or 7 little ones. That's where I started. After a couple months everything fell into line. I have a valid drivers license, no criminal record ( no idea how), and good credit. It can be done people.
P.S. my sex drive is soooooo much better doing just 2 shots a day. It's back to how it was in the beginning of using where when u did an opiate and lasted all night. Sorry tmi I know but it just popped in my mind that last little perk.
 
So you can maintain a job on H. That's doesn't mean it's still absurd to HAVE to do and chase a drug everyday or get sick.

Or inject street chemicals into your arm that could kill you via infection or fent.

There are other consequences and annoyances about heroin beyond hurting your job. It depends if you get sick of dealing with them.
 
Drugs/ Substances are only a problem if they're causing problems in your life.
If this is NOT causing problems well then yay for you.
Be careful.
PS it's illegal.
 
It's a house of cards. You may have everything stacked up all nice and neat right now but it doesn't take much to blow it all down: getting arrested/charged or having your addiction suddenly spiral out of control from under you (it happens sometimes even to those who consider themsleves well disciplined) etc.
 
I don't know,.H is some pretty serious shit but I've been on damn high doses of pain meds (opiates) and am able to do just fine with work and all. I know it's not exactly the same thing but aside from shooting up it kind of is, no? I realize it's not a perfect scenario for long term success but so far so good. There's also the case of taking enough to fight pain/maintain vs. getting high. That I actually rarely do. Thoughts?
 
Welcome to Bluelight, you'll find a lot of fellow functional addicts here. Nobody at work has any clue I use either, even right after shooting up in the locker room. And I earned a BS in neuroscience while strongly addicted to oxy and coke for 3 of the 4 years.
The biggest obstacle is withdrawal. If you never have to worry about facing it (in my early days it was unlimited supply, but now lope is good enough to work normally if out), your life is as normal as any pain patient on high dose medical opiates, assuming you can deal with just taking enough to not be sick when working or can't be seen high. I'm not someone who will ever quit either, since opiates allow me to lead a normal life.

@Beachbum, I shot oxy for 8 years and heroin for 7. There's no difference.
 
svacheme3 said:
Welcome to Bluelight, you'll find a lot of fellow functional addicts here. Nobody at work has any clue I use either, even right after shooting up in the locker room.

The biggest obstacle is withdrawal.
Click to expand...

this. its not difficult to be a functional addict and keep it a secret that you use. trying to work while in wd is nearly impossible though.
 
Aloha,
I say right on ssalleycat. I am down with your cause. I have known several functional addicts, and I myself am one. Now, I don't shoot anything. Never have. I have been dope sick and turned down the opportunity....I have an actual phobia of needles. So with that affliction, I prefer to free base fentanyl over anything else.

However those days are over. I basically stick to what I'm able to get from the doctor. I do like heroin, but I don't look for it. If it finds me, I am all over it. Smoking it goes through it way fast, so I snort it. If it's tar, I drop a gram in a lil nasal spray bottle with water, works fine for me.

I have been cut back over the past 2 years, and now I only get 120 8mg dillys a month, and have to just make due. But I can see cat's doing well it appears. And I say feeling good, is good enough. You know, what's wrong with feeling good? I say if you are able to get on through life well enough, and are able to maintain the discipline to not go completely off the rails. Where is the harm in that. If alleycat feels ok with it. Shoots brah...automatic.

I do however recommend having some kratom, just in case you have resupply issues. I just recently got back from SD, and they sell it everywhere it seems. I had to get a bunch when my dillys ran out.

But yeah, nothing wrong with a functional addict. I do realize however, this is not something that some people are able to do.

feeling good is good enough ssalleycat. Hold fast brah.
 
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I was able to hold down a well paid job as a functioning ketamin addicted at one point, cocaine addicted for 2-3 years and along with this I was heavily abusing benzos. My work never had a clue.

Would I even consider doing it again? No.
 
tathra said:
this. its not difficult to be a functional addict and keep it a secret that you use. trying to work while in wd is nearly impossible though.
Click to expand...

Damn if that's not the truth! There were a few times I tried to struggle through it but NOPE, not happening. I had to leave early the few times I actually tried to make a go of it but most times I just stay at home and hope everything will work out OK.

I do kind of find it funny how I can be on pretty whack doses of pain meds and no one has a clue. Makes me wonder how many others are doing the same thing. I have a few suspects but nothing definite.
 
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