Lost I feel like if I stop getting high my emotions will take me me instead of my addiction...

[Geegee617]

I'm completely broken I get out of a bad marriage going through divorce and the rest of my life is just shattered and I am broken anybody else feel the same?

 

[Nurse Ratched]

Welcome to Bluelight Geegee. I'm really sorry to hear that. Very sad times when we feel broken.

And no, I don't feel like you now...........but I used to.

They say that time heals all wounds. I know its a corny cliche...........but it's true.

 

[Crash Override]

I getcha. There have been times when life has been blown apart and seems unrecoverable but Nurse Ratched is right, time is a healer. Things are raw for you at the moment and it feels easier to hide under a blanket of addiction than it does to face your emotions. I absolutely get that it's hard to honestly know what is worse. What I'd say is when you're ready you need to talk this through with someone professionally.

 

[AbbeyLee]

I'm completely broken I get out of a bad marriage going through divorce and the rest of my life is just shattered and I am broken anybody else feel the same?

Hey and welcome here


"Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars." --Khalil Gibran


The rest of your life isn't shattered. Don't believe everything you think

Abbey xx

 

[TJ5]

Hey I've been there. I did drugs for 30 years. They seemed to serve many purposes, such as helping me to bring out my creativity, staying thin, plus protection from emotions I didn't have to deal with when high. The downside, was they kept me broke, I was always having to stay ahead of my addiction in order not to get sick, which in turn prevented me from ever going anywhere in life. My roommate had left and I was having a hard time finding another one. My thoughts spiraled into depression and I thought I'd never get out of my miserable, fucked up life. Suicide seemed the answer, but I thought I'd take some pills and write a note. It was 3 pages and by the time I was done writing, 75% of the power had been taken out of my feelings of doom and gloom. I realized that I had a very serious problem, but that it could still be worked out. I never thought I'd get off drugs, but I did. It is hard at first and I didn't believe those that told me that kicking physically was the easy part. The hard part is learning how to navigate life sober, but with time it can be done. NA and therapy helped give me the necessary tools to get through it. The main point is that feelings are not facts. You like how you feel? That's gonna change. Hate how you feel? That's gonna change. I've been clean almost 9 years now, so it is possible to navigate emotions without drugs.

 

[Jerry Atrick]

I'm completely broken I get out of a bad marriage going through divorce and the rest of my life is just shattered and I am broken anybody else feel the same?

@Geegee617 Have you considered seeking a therapist? This is a person who does not prescribe psych meds but who is willing/able to listen and help give you healthy coping mechanisms as well as guiding you through this difficult time. IMHO the best therapists help you come to decisions seemingly on your own rather than straight up telling you what to do.

 

[8_Psychosocial_8]

I'm completely broken I get out of a bad marriage going through divorce and the rest of my life is just shattered and I am broken anybody else feel the same?

Hi Geegee717, I can relate completely our circumstances are a little different but its the loss I fee that is so shattering. I dont know where to begin to pick up the pieces. I left my abusive relationship from a covert narcissist that I had a strong trauma bond with and on 06/14/22 @ 12:54am we hung up for the last time. That early morning HD shared with me he a new source for good heroin. I had thought he had given that up a couple of months ago , when we were together I use to find him on the floor ODing and had to give him Narcan or call 911 more than I care to admit. Now he was going to do this with no one to help himif the fent content was high. I told him please let's test your H and see what your dealing with he just laughed and said its fine its from a good source and they only put a tiny of fent in it. It scared me how hr laughed it off. Well days went by and I could not find him. Then his phone was shut off...no one in his family even took the time to talk to me and let me know what was going on. On the 5th day I texted his Sister who hated me because he would make me the scspe goat of his problems to get money from her. She texted me oh hi yea he had a mass coronary and died. Which was when I knew what happened. It destroyed me. I'm an absolute mess. Even though we had separated he kept me along for the ride keeping me from moving on. All the stuff from our storage had just been delivered from Co to Mi and he used that to keep me around holding over my head. I had gone 4 months without talking to him to try and start picking up the pieces of my life. I got s call svcouple weeks prior with him telling me his Dad was going to get all our things and bring them here. Him pulling me back in broke me into a million pieces. I'm so broken and lost even though shit got bad between us I loved him with all my heart and when I was realizing he had died I realized I didn't even know who I was any longer. I had given up all my friends for him. My family pulled away and will have nothing to do with me and I an living in a room at the one friend from H.S. I had left. I am so lost I'll never be right. In 8 months I've become agoraphobic, suffering with debilitating depression, Rage I've never felt before. I'm honestly broken. I can feel your pain, I understand those feelings very well even though are situations are different. When your life is completely shattered it leaved you lost and hopeless. I wish you strength, positive hope, and give you hugs from one shattered life to another. Hang in there I know it can feel impossible I question life on a day basis. Just know I'm beside you I feelbyour pain and can walk in sorrow with you. We have to somehow prevail! I'll be thinking of you and I'm so sorry for your pain.