i can't seem to have a bad trip?

[Battery Acid]

I apolisten if this happens to be the wrong thread. If so, let me know and I'll repost it elsewhere.

let me start with this.
I am weird.
I'm pretty sure a lot of us are.
But my first Lysergic Acid trip, was supposed to be the most eye opening thing i have experienced.

Here say, it was beautiful, and mind blowing. Words could not describe such effects it had on me. But before I started this 12 hour journey, I thought of some questions I had for myself, and wrote them onto paper to be read, and answered after I took the LSD.

My schedule was as follows.

6 PM I took a high end pressed Extacy, which is hard to come by in my town.

9 PM as the peak was nearing an end, I ingested a second Extacy pill.

10 PM I smoked a gram of some Black Diamond with my trip sitter.

12 AM my Acid dealer arrives with the 10 drops I ordered. Roughly 80-90 ug per drop.

12:30 AM I let my friend consume 2 drops, while I took 6. My friend is experienced in psychedelics, and I trust that he would keep me safe, even while tripping

To begin the story, I need to list the questions I had for myself.

1. What is true attraction?
2. What is the point of currency?
3. Who do I think I am?
4. Why am I constantly upset with myself
and finally...
5. What am I scared of?

Yes. I truly wanted to have a bad trip at some point, to find something that scares me. My reasoning for the majority of the trip was to scare myself. I wanted a bad trip, and still do. I wanted this, because for some reason, I tend to have no fear over anything.

Going into this trip with that mindset, and a dosage of around 525 Mic's, I was positive I would experience what I wanted.

I'll list multiple things I did to myself to try and experience the bad trip.

around 2:30, as the peak was starting, I asked my friend to put me in the closet, and no let me out for 10 minutes. No matter what.

within the first minute of being in the closet, with no light at all, and a really closed in space, I felt like I was floating. I felt extremely lifeless, and almost this feeling as if I was submerged in water. As I was standing there, the feeling slowly changed to a hanging sensation, with pressure around my throat. I had a choker on at the time, but I was extremely convinced it was a noose while I was "hanging". The pressure got worse, and I lost track of time. As I looked down at the ground with my arms swaying gently, and a large amount of pressure around my neck, I realized how peaceful it truly was. I thought about it as if I truly had hung myself. I thought of the things I've lost, family members that would miss me, and such. As 10 minutes came, and my friend opened the door, I felt a large smirk on my face, and felt devilish. The trip turned dark after I came out, and colors were all a really dark shade of itself, or almost dirty looking. Brown splotches on the wall, deep shadows under everyone's eyes. I thought I was headed in the right direction. I then covered myself in a blanket, and played a creepy noises sound track on YouTube through my ear buds. Babies crying, wolves howling, and women screaming, I got somewhat eerie visuals in the darkness of the blanket. There were dozens of faces talking to me. Pitch black Alien like eyes. Long smiles, all pointy teeth, with blood running through them. This went on for 15 minutes until my friend thought I was under the cover for long enough. He pulled it away, and stared me in the eyes. He looked frightened. He asked why I was smiling to evily, and why my eyes were so widely open. I didn't realize that I was smiling, or opening my eyes too largely at all. I checked myself in the mirror, and realized what he meant. The dark factor of the trip added to the effects. I felt like I was staring at the Devil.

I liked it.

This changed my mindset completely. I walked back into the room, and sat on the bed only to get lost in the flowing patterns, and hairs sticking off the wall. The visuals were phenomenal. I forgot what I was doing for a couple minutes, and abruptly came to my senses with a smack to my face, and my friend staring at me like I was his worst nightmare. He said I had been staring at the wall, devilishly smiling for 2 hours. I didn't believe him. I checked my phone, and sure enough, it was 5 AM, almost hours after I got back from the bathroom mirror. I stood up to my surprise, walking on my toes, and looking down at my friend, and smiling still. He said I needed to shut up, and I realized there were words coming out of my mouth, of which I had no clue. He described it as an almost "tongues" sort of language, where there were evenly distributed consonants and vowels throughout the words, to make them sound real, but it was incomprehensible. He said I slowly walked on my toes, closer to him, until he was in a corner, and I just smiled at him. I remember looking down at him, directly in the eye, with so much fear coming out of this almost "aura" feeling energy I felt from him. I proceeded by saying "What's wrong with me?" And laughing. At this point, he pushed me away, and left. He left my house for me to be alone in my room, and texted me that he will check on me around noon. I couldn't text back. So I sat down, against my wall, and stared at the wall parallel to it. I stared for 4 hours. I don't remember a single thought going through my head the entire time. I only remember staring. Then I got up, layed on my bed around 9:30 AM, and fell asleep.

my question is...
Why can't I find something Im scared of? I truly want to know. I want to find my worst fears, but I cant.
also...
does anyone have some sort of way to induce a bad trip? If so, please let me know.

Thank you guys, it's very appreciated.

 

[FlawedByDesign]

If you are actively using psychedelics it is likely that sooner or later you will have a "bad" trip. Since I was 16 I thought I was immune to these experiences, I'm now 23 and have had two challenging trips in the last year. I can say that all of my lsd experiences have been overwhelmingly positive, mushrooms and 4 substituted tryptamines provide the introspection needed to produce the kind of confronting trip that you're describing.

 

[Erikmen]

I had bad trips from day 1.
Btw, welcome to BL!

 

[DrGreenthumb]

Eat a lot of mushrooms & smoke some weed for an introspective trip. LSD & MDMA is for parties, just not at those doses of lsd.

 

[Kl519]

Why are you seeking a bad trip? Having fear means having something you care about, so whatever it is you care about must be at stake (at least in your mind) if you want to have a bad trip.

Some things that can induce a bad trip:

Tripping on a bad day

Taking too high of a dose and becoming confused in whatever way possible, eg. trying to understand a chaotic situation with other people freaking out, so you don't know what to do esp. in your current state

Watch a scary movie, become attached to the characters, and see what happens (there are lots to choose from)

Get in an argument with someone and have them shout at you

Although it feels weird to encourage bad trips. It seems very irresponsible. I can't analyze your character/personality by one post, but you don't seem very empathetic with the way you chased off your friend. If you enjoy bad trips, then they aren't really bad trips. And based on what you posted, it doesn't sound like one either. You should feel scared, hopelessness, pain, angry, confused, or basically any negative feelings or a combination thereof for it to be considered a bad trip. And this will greatly alter the visual and mental effects of the trip in a way where you are, at least, unhappy and uncomfortable.

And my last thought about this thread is...wtf?

Edit: I forgot to mention that ecstasy is good for taking the edges off of lsd. If you really want a bad trip, try taking it by itself. But I don't find a bad trip advisable to anyone.

 

[Battery Acid]

Thank you all for the information, and thanks for the welcoming I'm not crazy, I just would really like to learn some of my own fears.

 

[Ineffable14]

Try finding them without psychedelics.

As someone who has been to the darker corners of the human psyche and felt the tortures of the damned...you have NO idea what your asking for.

 

[jason7]

Take a bunch of MXE, smoke some hash oil, then consider the impossibility of the universe existing and that when you fully realize that fact it will cease to exist. If that's not working, hit some salvia extract on top of that.

 

[neurotic]

i guess what you're looking for is a deep, meaningful and introspective trip into yourself... facing your fears and stuff, and that actually sounds like an amazing trip.

a bad trip in my book is more like when for some reason you freak out, because you either think you're gonna be like this forever, or you damaged your brain, you're gone for good etc... and end up panicking, feeling lost and everything. i've had one extremely bad shroom trip that left me with random panic attacks for a whole month after.

also i second the notion of going for mushrooms if you're looking for more deep trips... they're very uhhh... unforgiving i'd say.

btw that idea of writing questions and pondering about them while tripping is awesome

 

[.:Holy::Toast:.]

You do not want a bad trip OP don't be ridiculous
They are often confusing and frightening and do not always yield personal change.
Good perspective shifting trips can be filled with insight, introspection, tears, laughter and everything in between.
Bad trips are absolutely terrifying; do not seek them out OP they can be very mentally straining.
I have only had one bad trip in my life and let me tell you it did NOTHING to help my mental state.

 

[szuko000]

Also depending on how bad the trip is it can be extremely hard to "get over" you may come out of it with PTSD and get extreme anxiety thinking about it or being in that room/place where it occurred.

 

[4meSM]

I think it was the MDMA, sounds like your trip wasn't as clean. I would blame the extacy for the brain fog, especially because you took LSD on the comedown.
Next time try pure LSD and at the peak you can smoke some weed if you want to, but don't take MDMA if you're searching for that kind of trip!

 

[Xorkoth]

How many times have you tripped? Bad trips can happen but for many people they're quite rare. Well, actually there are 2 types of "bad" trips. There are difficult experiences which can cause a lot of anxiety, even terror, but when they're done, you can look back and derive something useful from them... I don't really like to call those bad trips as often they can be among the most useful and impactful and can leave you feeling better afterwards. I had one particularly difficult trip, my third trip ever, on mushrooms... the setting was bad and it was quite terrible to live through but as soon as we came down we were filled with euphoria at simply feeling normal again, and I learned some important things about myself and psychedelics, and the next day I felt better than I had before I did it, I was filled with a gratefulness for ordinary perception and the bright, sunny world I found myself in once again.

The other kind of bad trip is the psychotic break trip. This seems to happen to some people and not others, and is characterized by (often) having no memory of it, and by the person behaving very irrationally, often with inappropriate sexual behavior, nonsensical behavior, or destructive behavior. It is my belief that generally these experiences happen to people who have been traumatized in the past and the psychedelic triggers something, or if they are prone to psychosis as an individual. Most people never experience anything like this from psychedelics, but I would truly call this a bad trip. People do not report achieving any sort of insight or positive result from these experiences, and in fact they can be left in a long-lasting negative state from it.

For people who respond "normally", difficult experience are certainly possible and I think most of us have experienced them at some point. But as you get more experience under your belt, it becomes less likely you will have them. After tripping countless times over the past 13 years, I have my doubts I will ever experience a trip that has more than brief periods of true difficulty again. Of course I could be wrong about that. Either way, difficult experiences are just part of the range of psychedelic experiences, but they're nothing to fear as they tend to reveal yourself to you in different and useful ways from your positive, joyful trips.

With my difficult experience (I have had more than one but my third trip was the most frightening), I could have come out of it and framed the experience in a negative light and allowed it to affect me negatively but instead I just chalked it up to a learning experience and I was fine. I find that some people will have difficult experiences and begin to obsess over them and it begins to almost deconstruct everything they knew before and can cause them some lingering depersonalization and anxiety/depression. But if you let it wash over you and accept whatever you experienced and also accept that once it's gone you're back to the way you were, and that in fact we as humans can never really know anything for sure about the way things are, you can gain something useful from it. I find, incidentally, that people with issues of letting go of control tend to have the largest negative repercussions from difficult psychedelic experiences, and also a larger incidence of difficult experiences to begin with. I have read of people experiencing ego loss who experienced terror and then were unable to rationalize away what they experienced afterwards, and since they feel a need for iron control over their view of existence, it causes them a lot of internal fear/conflict. I believe being a "control freak" (for lack of a better term) is an unhealthy state anyway. My ex-wife falls into this category, she had a difficult/traumatic experience on smoked DMT and it began a spiral down into some serious mental ramifications, but had she been able to let go, perhaps the outcome would have been different.

Just some thoughts, sorry if it was a bit rambling.

 

[Ismene]

I've never had a bad trip.

There are probably a few ways to induce one - start telling yourself that the police are coming for you at the height of the trip, start telling yourself that your loved ones are ill or dead etc. Can't really see the point myself.

 

[incaseofaburglar]

You do not want a bad trip OP don't be ridiculous
They are often confusing and frightening and do not always yield personal change.
Good perspective shifting trips can be filled with insight, introspection, tears, laughter and everything in between.
Bad trips are absolutely terrifying; do not seek them out OP they can be very mentally straining.
I have only had one bad trip in my life and let me tell you it did NOTHING to help my mental state.

Agreed! I have had one bad trip (psilocybin), it was awful. So awful. However, my good trips whether it was LSD or DMT or psilocybin or (insert drug here) have often been heavily profound, existential experiences that I gained a lot from. I think the key for you is to lower your expectations and let the experience take you where it wants to take you.

 

[turnupboss]

i have never had a bad trip from shrooms or lsd, only brief bad vibes but nothing that would negatively cause a bad trip. only time i had some what of a bad trip was dark scary hullucinations on a molly binge induced psychosis.

 

[Thomas Davie]

I was going to say I haven't had a bad trip, but I've had; trips that were uncomfortable, trips that I definitely wanted to be over, trips that I knew were wrong as soon as I dropped, and specific moments that had me curled up in a ball.

I try not to take psychs lightly, but weed has given me many more anxious moments.

Tom

 

[Boognish]

Sure most of us have had tough, uncomfortable trips that we want to be over and whatnot - which sometimes are beneficial upon reflection. But then there's those BAD trips, like I'm talking in a state of pure catatonic despair, babbling about synchronicities and likely a danger to yourself and possibly others. I've witnessed someone in this state, luckily me and my other friend were able to physically overpower our other friend in order to keep him down and safe until the hellishly long trip(unknown amount of 5-MEO-AMT + unknown amount of 2c-t-2) started to fade away. Actually I've approached the catatonic state once a long time ago during a recklessly planned ayahuasca experience, however I just thought I was dying and stuck in a loop of death for a while, but was never a danger to anyone or violent - just temporarily nuts. I even had bad PTSD/anxiety for years after that experience but, eventually worked through it for the better. The point is you don't necessarily want a real deal bad trip, that shit can fuck your head up bro, peace.