kushblowin
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jul 12, 2021
- Messages
- 110
weed is awful to me now. i dont get panic attacks or anything but after going sober i can feel what weed does to me and i just want to kill every buzz with a benzo and never be high again. i dont get crazy anxious or anything it feels exactly the same it just made me realize i hate that feeling. i cant form connections with people, it makes me anti social, all i can think about is whats going on my life when im stuck in my high vegetable-like state and probably ruining everything and it ruins my relationships and just makes me feel numb but stupid and anxious at the same time.
i just cant smoke a small amount. i used to be obsessed with weed i loved everything the look, breaking it up, smelling it, tasting it, getting that hit in the back of my throat, tasting clean wax, taking giant rips, getting drunk and smoking all night with people but after going sober for a minute and seeing what its doing to me i just hate it. it feels like im putting a poison in my body that just turns me comatose throwing away my life and its super addictive for me and i just keep wanting to smoke every 5 minutes and it just makes me shower less, eat like crap, brush my teeth less, stop cleaning. i cut back my weed to almost nothing and was using low dose benzos and holy shit for the first in 10 years i was positive, turning my life around, showering doing laundry every day, i was talking to a nice girl and as soon as i picked up weed again it was all over. just back to laying in bed feeling half schizo, anxious paranoid, just laying on my laptop doing nothing but trying to contemplate thoughts.
is weed really done for me? i dont even get excited seeing it or opening it anymore. its literally just like all the stereotypes i wish i could function normally on weed. im thinking of using low dose benzos and low dose weed only? fuck i dont know anymore. weed puts my mind in a dark ass state too like it just makes me so depressed and do nothing for so long it makes me want to take suicidal dangerous drug cocktails and shit again idk why.
i just cant smoke a small amount. i used to be obsessed with weed i loved everything the look, breaking it up, smelling it, tasting it, getting that hit in the back of my throat, tasting clean wax, taking giant rips, getting drunk and smoking all night with people but after going sober for a minute and seeing what its doing to me i just hate it. it feels like im putting a poison in my body that just turns me comatose throwing away my life and its super addictive for me and i just keep wanting to smoke every 5 minutes and it just makes me shower less, eat like crap, brush my teeth less, stop cleaning. i cut back my weed to almost nothing and was using low dose benzos and holy shit for the first in 10 years i was positive, turning my life around, showering doing laundry every day, i was talking to a nice girl and as soon as i picked up weed again it was all over. just back to laying in bed feeling half schizo, anxious paranoid, just laying on my laptop doing nothing but trying to contemplate thoughts.
is weed really done for me? i dont even get excited seeing it or opening it anymore. its literally just like all the stereotypes i wish i could function normally on weed. im thinking of using low dose benzos and low dose weed only? fuck i dont know anymore. weed puts my mind in a dark ass state too like it just makes me so depressed and do nothing for so long it makes me want to take suicidal dangerous drug cocktails and shit again idk why.