I am terribly confused

[TheDragonBall]

This issue has been bothering me forever and I need to hear somebody else's point of view. I am 18 years old and I have been with my girlfriend since September 2010. I love her so much and we get along beautifully however there is one thing that bothers me. We have been together for 5 years and I just can't help but feel that she does not feel a sexual attraction towards me. At first I just thought it was trust that I needed to gain but as the years went by its impossible to ignore it. I have brought up my feeling about it and she says that she wants to have sex too but her answer is always "soon", I've been hearing this excuse for about 2 years now. She claims that she is just very fearful of getting pregnant and that is understandable but if you love somebody a lot wouldn't it be hard to not feel a sexual attraction towards them ? For example her father was not fond of her having a bf at first but she risked staying with me because she loves me right ? So wouldn't that same love kick in and let her risk having sex with me ? It depresses me so much and I love this woman so much that I wouldn't dare go seek sex somewhere else , especially since I am a virgin. Although she says its because of her fear of pregnancy I can't shake the feeling that she is simply not sexually attracted to me. I looked up a few articles in sexual deprivation and its effects and I showed her these articles and told her how sad it made me feel. I really thought things were gonna change , I thought she understood how it was effecting me , but there was no change at all. I can't shake the feeling that something is wrong with me. And when I say no sex I mean NOTHING sexual. I have seen her breasts and that is all , we often mess around in my bed but when I try to make sexual advances she pulls my hands off. It makes me more depressed because I hear my friends talking about all of their sexual experiences with multiple females that they just kick to the curb afterwards and its so hard to believe that its easier for them to have sex with random girls , and I can't have sex with my own girlfriend of five years. I would just really like to hear somebody's opinion on what is going on here , I know I wrote quite a bit but I've been keeping this to myself all these years and I need answers, help?

 

[Jabberwocky]

You are in the friend zone. The 5 year friend zone that is If the concept of sex means a lot to you, just go get a hooker and blow your load. It's no big deal everyone else does it.

 

[llama112]

You're 18, you're young. Sometimes people want to wait to have sex. It's a big deal for the first time for some people.

Also, don't get a hooker. Not everyone does it.

 

[tomdpimp]

You've been dating since you were 13. Maybe you want to move on.

 

[queenbee1127]

Her fear of pregnancy is easily fixed by using condoms correctly. It just sounds like a shitty excuse to stave you off.

I agree that you need to move on to someone who makes you feel valued.

 

[pofacedhoe]

don't get a hooker. Not everyone does it.

this. hooker= mehhhh

i would leave her. sorry but 5 years and causing you to feel rejected and unloved. nah

i just couldn't stomach it personally, her "reasons" sound like bullshit.

possibly closet lesbian, asexual, or just doesn't fancy you but man that would wear me down self esteem wise

 

[Clitnhawk]

She's not really a GF... you both have been PLAYING BF / GF. You know, like playing house. I have a higher chance of fucking your girlfriend more than you do, and I'm 45yrs old... with a car, money and experience, well - if she's hot enough.

Move on, break up with her. You are BOTH 18, legal adults. Stick a condom on it. I've never gotten anyone pregnant until I hit over 40, after I got married. You can get her pregnant sticking it in her butt, that a time honored Catholic school girl tradition... I remember my Catholic School Girlfriend when we were 15...

Your love for her is real, but its "kiddie' love. Once your heart is broken a few times, then you'll know when you really find the right one for you. You only know this ONE girl... you need to try out many girls... date them, sex optional. If you don't have sex with a girl within date 3 or so, it will NEVER happen. Women like to fuck too. If they like a guy, they want him to be attracted to her. If you ask a girl out for a dinner and dance date - and she says YES and shows up, you're halfway there to panty land, er thong-land.

At this moment, an 18yr old relative of mine is having sex with her date or after-sex sleeping. She checked in with me to let me know shes okay, I meant the guy as an introduction. Its casual sex / date.

So dump her ass first, then get out there and meet some other girls. Also, having sex is one of the ways a guy mends his broken heart... sometimes.