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How to shake people off

RhythmSpring

RhythmSpring

Bluelighter
Joined
Jun 19, 2008
Messages
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I seem to have made a few "friends" that I wish to longer spend time with. They're not terrible people, they just kind of suck my energy. But they keep asking to hang out or acting as if I'm still in like with them. One of them I think has a crush on me, but hasn't told me outright.

I don't want to be with these people, but I have a hard time saying "no" to people. Usually because, when I do, it ends up sounding harsh and they feel "bummed out."

Is there any way I can tactfully, gently tell them to go make other friends so I can erm, be with my real friends? I don't want to "ghost" them, either.

Is this unreasonable? Am I being an elitist twat?
 
I agree with you in principle, but actually telling them "I don't enjoy your company as much as I would like to," might really upset them. These people are in kind of fragile, transition-y stages in their life (as am I), and I worry that telling them that would send them down a spiral of negative self-worth.

Not to mention that it's just a plain uncomfortable thing to do. Also, I might be seeing them again in the future in some musical contexts, and I don't want it to be awkward.
 
You shouldn't really have to tell them anything. Usually when someone doesn't want to be around someone else the person can take a hint and move on without their lives crumbling around them. I have known a few people with narcissistic personalities that could not take a hint to save their lives, but eventually they always find someone else more receptive to their self-absorbed ways of being.

Having to tell someone point blank that you don't enjoy their company will come across mean no matter how you put it. This is when you want to utilize other forms of communication such as body language. We are always transitioning. Maybe you aren't as important to them as you think.
 
Are you friends on social media ? Remove them from your friends group / list - decline the next few invitations to join them.
 
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