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how to get out of the friend- zone

mrsnowygrainius

mrsnowygrainius

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 2, 2013
Messages
426
is it even possible? what are some things I can do to get out of this territory she put me in? we used to have a thing for each other and now I'm trying to get back with her slowly but she just sees me as a friend now. what can i do? i give her compliments sometimes and she responds with a "thanks dude" that pisses me off...
 
That sucks, I know that feeling. How long ago did you guys have a thing together and what happened?
If I were you I would sit down and say how you feel at least then you will know where you stand. You can't make someone feel something, so just have a chat with her.
 
That's a tough one. While you can't make someone like you that way there are things you can do or not do to kinda nudge it in your favor.

Pestering her about it is a bad idea. Nothing is a bigger turnoff than when a guy pisses and moans about "nobody wants me boo hoo why don't you like me?" Just play it cool.. Be nice to her and give her space. This can possibly make her miss you.. Giving her compliments is fine but if you do it constantly she will just get a big head. Go a day or two without talking to her much or complimenting her, since y'all had a thing before, this might plant a little seed of doubt in her head and she will wonder why you haven't stroked her ego that day. Sounds cruel when I word it so frankly but really it's harmless. The old adage goes "absence makes the heart grow fonder"

Just don't overdo this or be an outright dick to her or it will backfire. And remember that there is no guarantee this will work. Do you always talk to her first?
 
thanks for the responses guys i appreciate it

we had a thing like 4 years ago, she like me i and liked her ALOT. we fucked a couple times and then she broke it off because she didn't want to have another long term relationship because last one ended badly.. so she just left me in the dust and broke my heart...i got over her and months went by without any contact. then she apologizes to me after some time and we hung out a couple times this was like a year ago. now lately i kinda started to miss her again so we've been talking on and off.

conversations are pretty much just like what u been up to, etc and sometimes snapchat pictures. Im always the one to talk to her first but sometimes shel text me first. she is not in a relationship and hasn't been. so i asked her last week to hang out and she wants to this weekend... well see what happens
 
id say we talk now like once every couple weeks, i understand the whole giving her space idea and i do that
 
Sounds like things are going well so far. I hope it works out, you know how they say if it's meant to be then it'll happen? Yeah you get the idea. Not sure how much I believe in that shit, but I do know this..

Old flames burn hotter ;)
 
Good luck! I would try not messaging her and wait and see how long it takes for her to message you. For all you know she could be playing hard to get. I'm sure if it's meant to be it will work out.
 
I'll suggest something different. Plant a kiss on her (check or neck?) at the right moment. I don't think you're going to ever find the right words to break through the logic of feeling in her mind, once her mind is set in a certain direction, given that you already have history.. any attempt to use language will get met with resistance because she already knows you feel for her.. unlike a new partner where she isn't sure.

Don't be forceful or anything, just gentle.. the point is to trigger a feeling stronger than the narrative she has in her head (friend-zone/rationalization for not wanting). A kiss, don't act desperate or say anything mushy, and just leave it at that.. I think the more you say the more chance there is for doubt and rejection (in her head), whereas a kiss is simple, powerful, and without words leaves only the feeling.. and feeling is your ally here ;)

Could be way off base here, I don't know. Just more thought for the mixer.
 
Me too...I want out of the friend zone. As far as I can see we are a great fit but I get mixed messages from her. We never run out of shit to talk about. We like a lot of the same things. I ask her out 2 times and get an excuse and a flake. But she's cool with me walking her to her car and I even pushed the boundaries with sitting close enough that most people would be uncomfortable. We work together so that is a huge mountain to climb. I can't tell if she is into me and won't bite because of work or she's not into me and just overly nice.

At least you have the advantage of history with this girl. The kiss approach sounds like something that might push her over the edge but I'd be cautious. That kiss might turn into one last roll in the hay and then back to the friend zone
 
Be straight
then move in or move on

always been my way but I been moved in for 26 years so what the fuck do I know:\
 
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