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How Does Your Significant Other, Partner, Lover &or BFF, MAKE You Feel in 1ish Word(?

Jabberwocky

Jabberwocky

Frumious Bandersnatch
Joined
Nov 3, 1999
Messages
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How Does Your Significant Other, Partner, Lover &or BFF, MAKE You Feel in 1ish Word(?

One-of-a-kind :) <3
 
Mine currently makes me confused- since the incident happened where my parents ended up with my daughter (got sent flubramazolam powder as opposed to etizolam powder- almost sure of it for multiple reasons now- 2mgs shouldn't have caused blackouts in people who can handle 3mgs of clonazepam at the time- but using probably would have eventually led to some incident eventually anyway and now we are trying to get sober) she rarely stays at our condo (well my parents own it). She claims to be staying at different people she has met in NA/AA but I feel like not many people allow a newcomer to just start staying at their house when they meet them- someone who barely has sober time. There is only one place I think she is mostly staying and there is an old man there- I don't think she is fucking him as he is like 60 but I think he is lonely and even her just being there, she is taking advantage of that (other female newcomers have done the same thing). She claims since losing our daughter that staying at our house makes her depressed. She stayed one night like some days ago and I did fuck her and actually I'm really hoping I didn't get her pregnant.

On the other hand she stays in touch with me everyday. She meets up with me at meetings. But there are some financial benefits to it- although it does go both ways. She says that she isn't breaking up with me but isn't sure what she wants to do with her life. And she just spouts 12 step shit at me- I go to meetings but I guess I would say I am moderate in my adherence/belief in that program; she seems to have become almost part of the cult part of it. I'm going on MMT (well hopefully, I was supposed to start like last monday but now won't be starting until at least a week from tomorrow due to medical records- and they have all my doctors records, just not the records from the hospital where I went when I blacked out on benzos (technically twice because they let me out and I don't even remember it) and I told them that happened- I take benzos when I feel like I don't have the opioids in me I need and they are around and cheap (which isn't always). I'm on suboxone now but just don't feel right. So anyways, she does talk to me everyday, doesn't want my parents to know she isn't staying there which is impossible because whenever they call or I call them she isn't here. She says she loves me and will always love me and wants to come back eventually probably. But is thinking of going into a 28 day program.

She does still get upset with me, has claimed she would respond jealously if she saw me with another woman, blah blah (maybe I should clean up my appearence and look right and start talking to people.... maybe make her play her hand). I don't know really.
 
My husband treats me like a princess. He is the BEST. I feel I don't even deserve it.
 
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