Guru Daddy
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 21, 1999
- Messages
- 322
I wanted to respond to your post but surfblock kept me out-don't ask me why, I can't figure it out. Anyway, just wanted to mention a couple of things...
The past does not exist. "You" did not fuck up your relationship because that person who did that is no longer you. If you could be in that situation right now, knowing what you know, would you do the same things? No, because that's not who you are. You have grown, you have learned. So don't waste your time with regrets and recriminations, be grateful to your former self for teaching you how and who you want to be.
Anthony DeMillo (sp?) uses a great metaphor for enlightenment - he calls it waking up - and nobody wants to wake up! Its cold and scary, much better to stay in that safe, warm bed. Well, that's what you're doing - waking up! You are learning how you want to be, how you want to love.
Which leads to your question... always, always, always tell your truth. If you love her, tell her. But remember it is your truth you are telling, not hers. And just as you are no longer that person who mistreated her, she is no longer the person she was. So instead of saying something like "I can't live without you" (which you obviously can) tell her something like, "I love you, and I would like to be able to share that with you (again), and find out who you are now." Then comes the hard part - be prepared to truly love her if she says no. Maybe her new boyfriend was a reaction to your break-up, but maybe he truly creates happiness with her. If you love her, then be ready to help her be happy, whatever that means. When you do that, you'll find peace with yourself, regardless of how it works out. Hope this was worth a whole new post. I'm starting to think I should just get a 4:00 am cable show and preach to my heart's content.
Love and Peace,
Guru Daddy
The past does not exist. "You" did not fuck up your relationship because that person who did that is no longer you. If you could be in that situation right now, knowing what you know, would you do the same things? No, because that's not who you are. You have grown, you have learned. So don't waste your time with regrets and recriminations, be grateful to your former self for teaching you how and who you want to be.
Anthony DeMillo (sp?) uses a great metaphor for enlightenment - he calls it waking up - and nobody wants to wake up! Its cold and scary, much better to stay in that safe, warm bed. Well, that's what you're doing - waking up! You are learning how you want to be, how you want to love.
Which leads to your question... always, always, always tell your truth. If you love her, tell her. But remember it is your truth you are telling, not hers. And just as you are no longer that person who mistreated her, she is no longer the person she was. So instead of saying something like "I can't live without you" (which you obviously can) tell her something like, "I love you, and I would like to be able to share that with you (again), and find out who you are now." Then comes the hard part - be prepared to truly love her if she says no. Maybe her new boyfriend was a reaction to your break-up, but maybe he truly creates happiness with her. If you love her, then be ready to help her be happy, whatever that means. When you do that, you'll find peace with yourself, regardless of how it works out. Hope this was worth a whole new post. I'm starting to think I should just get a 4:00 am cable show and preach to my heart's content.
Love and Peace,
Guru Daddy