Heroin Heroin, what I predicted, not what I expected

[DeathIndustrial88]

Agreed. Legalization and medicalization nearly eliminates almost all risks from heroin. Also very transparent on the body, doesn’t cause long term damage on major organs when used in pure form and therapeutically. Unfortunately, ignorance and prohibition have made “heroin” (mostly fentanyl and other cuts here in the US) unnecessarily dangerous.
Every substance has a value. SSRIs and antipsychotics obviously very effective and necessary for some folks as well as benzos and opiates. Opiates would need a major societal shift to ever be prescribed again for mood disorders like they had been upon early western medicine use.

I'm absolutely in agreement with you there.


I found buprenorphine effective for my depression early on, but I think due to it's partial agonism and ceiling effect, it quickly loses it.

I popped a couple hydrocodone recently and felt more upbeat, energized, pain free (my depression causes constant body aching) than I have been in a few years. And this is after being on a myriad of other antidepressant/mood medicines.

 

[NeuroDr]

I'm absolutely in agreement with you there.


I found buprenorphine effective for my depression early on, but I think due to it's partial agonism and ceiling effect, it quickly loses it.

I popped a couple hydrocodone recently and felt more upbeat, energized, pain free (my depression causes constant body aching) than I have been in a few years. And this is after being on a myriad of other antidepressant/mood medicines.

That’s awesome. The physical manifestations of mental health issues are no joke. And somatic experiencing approaches to therapy are so effective because it taps into that bottom-up approach, body—> mind. I can see how finding relief with opiates in the body can really help with the mental state. The issue I see then, as a therapist, is that that’s not sustainable. It helps give a baseline to be able to really work on the root of the depression for sure though I’d imagine. But then when you have that space it may be helpful to find a good therapist you connect with to tap into that benefit from the opiate and allow you to integrate it with somatic approaches and tools, so you have more ways to relieve that internal physical experience of depression when it hits hard.

 

[NeuroDr]

I also practice psychedelic-assisted therapy and have found amazing benefit in doing work with folks with depression using ketamine and good integration. The problem is accessibility, cost, and all that unfortunately. Idk if you’re in the US or not but if you were interested I can definitely help connect you with some communities and therapists for that kind of work.

 

[DeathIndustrial88]

I also practice psychedelic-assisted therapy and have found amazing benefit in doing work with folks with depression using ketamine and good integration. The problem is accessibility, cost, and all that unfortunately. Idk if you’re in the US or not but if you were interested I can definitely help connect you with some communities and therapists for that kind of work.

Actually, yes!


I've been wanting to try ketamine therapy or something new.

I think my issue is there is no real 'root' to my depression. It's been with me off and on my whole life, with it's severity changing through out.

For example, last year my mom died. But I was already struggling with depression episode long before that.
So it certainly didn't help. Most people would be sad after losing a parent though of course.

My depression is chronic and invasive.
I've been into opioids since I was 19 and honestly the only time they weren't sustainable was when I ran out and could not get anymore. Although this was a bit shorter acting opioids than say, buprenorphine, so they retained a lot of their benefits when I dosed, even if I didn't get "high". Just the rise in blood levels was enough to really help.

I've been through many therapists & while they can be nice to talk to, they don't help much. Most have no idea what to do with me anymore.

So ketamine & psychedelic therapy is something I've considered.
I do have experience with psilocybin when I was a teenager.
And have been on many DXM trips. And could see how it could help.

I find cannabis helpful but I've been smoking daily for over 20 years.
At this point, drugs & meds have merely become tools but never 'cures'. Which is fine, cause Idk if there is a 'cure' for what I have.

I've also been diagnosed with a personality disorder & anxiety disorder (which seems to run in my family), among major depressive, so it gets trickier than just being depressed. Being melancholic & unable to function has almost become a part of who I am, unfortunately. lol

Feel free to msg me with any more info on how to go about finding something like this!
Cheers!

 

[NeuroDr]

I’m finally getting around to reading Junky by William S Burroughs and this line ending the opening prologue is how I feel about it being not sustainable or that it doesn’t add anything to my life like other drugs do, which is why I haven’t gone back to opiates. “I have learned the junk equation. Junk is not, like alcohol or weed, a means to increased enjoyment of life. Junk is not a kick. It is a way of life.”

 

[ReceptorPlugger]

Strange that OP has not said anymore or responded to any questions.

Definitely wondering if what they got was truly diacetylmorphine and not fent or some shitty analogue.

I disagree with the above poster that they have no value outside physical pain, but everyone is entitled to their opinion.

This is the mother of the original poster. He died later that night. Toxicology report said it was pure Fentanyl and not any Heroin whatsoever. I hope for all your sakes - and your families - you do not end up like he did. Please be careful out there.

 

[DeathIndustrial88]

This is the mother of the original poster. He died later that night. Toxicology report said it was pure Fentanyl and not any Heroin whatsoever. I hope for all your sakes - and your families - you do not end up like he did. Please be careful out there.

I'm so sorry to hear.

I had a bad gut feeling that what he got was not diacetylmorphine.

Fentanyl kills much, much easier than heroin. Especially if you shoot it & don't know how much to measure. And it's everywhere now. Thanks to the war on drugs.

I wish he would have said something to somebody before shooting this. He may have survived if he had done it another route and was warned that it was fent and not actual heroin.
Fentanayl is measure in micrograms. So shooting what you believe to be in milligrams of heroin is incredibly dangerous.
Some one with no tolerance or experience proceeding to shoot a new & easily deadly drug is truly playing with fire.

I do not shoot & have lots of experience on knowing the differences between fentanyl & heroin. I also don't use street drugs anymore, as heroin is being replaced by this awful, dangerous crap.
I'm not sure what compelled your son to want to try heroin, but it's never a good thing to go into these kinds of things alone & uneducated about the dangers.

I hope you find some peace. I couldn't imagine losing a child.

 

[ReceptorPlugger]

I'm so sorry to hear.

I had a bad gut feeling that what he got was not diacetylmorphine.

Fentanyl kills much, much easier than heroin. Especially if you shoot it & don't know how much to measure. And it's everywhere now. Thanks to the war on drugs.

I wish he would have said something to somebody before shooting this. He may have survived if he had done it another route and was warned that it was fent and not actual heroin.
Fentanayl is measure in micrograms. So shooting what you believe to be in milligrams of heroin is incredibly dangerous.
Some one with no tolerance or experience proceeding to shoot a new & easily deadly drug is truly playing with fire.

I do not shoot & have lots of experience on knowing the differences between fentanyl & heroin. I also don't use street drugs anymore, as heroin is being replaced by this awful, dangerous crap.
I'm not sure what compelled your son to want to try heroin, but it's never a good thing to go into these kinds of things alone & uneducated about the dangers.

I hope you find some peace. I couldn't imagine losing a child.

Yes, the kicker is he had ordered test strips but didn't bother to wait until they arrived 4 days later. He was so sure of his carefulness. Toxicology report said he had 8.6 nanograms/ML in his bloodstream which if it were heroin would not have killed him. I just don't understand why those who sell this stuff don't bother to say what exactly it is they are selling. Seems like a poor business model to sell product which has a high probability of killing off their customers early. Wouldn't you think they would want to do everything they can to get customers to actually be able to come back and buy more? Make no sense.

I think his motivation to want to try heroin at that point was desperation. He had been experimenting with psychedelics and using cannabis in an effort to manage his mental health issues. He had actually grown 3 full marijuana plants from seed and was very proud of them - as we were of him for doing it - quite the project. He had aspirations of potentially being a bud tender.

And thank you for the well wishes. And your input. Much appreciated.

 

[4meSM]

Wow what a tragedy. I'm really sorry for your loss.

Another death which could have been prevented if he had followed some basic harm reduction principles :/

 

[ReceptorPlugger]

Wow what a tragedy. I'm really sorry for your loss.

Another death which could have been prevented if he had followed some basic harm reduction principles :/

Thank you

 

[DeathIndustrial88]

Yes, the kicker is he had ordered test strips but didn't bother to wait until they arrived 4 days later. He was so sure of his carefulness. Toxicology report said he had 8.6 nanograms/ML in his bloodstream which if it were heroin would not have killed him. I just don't understand why those who sell this stuff don't bother to say what exactly it is they are selling. Seems like a poor business model to sell product which has a high probability of killing off their customers early. Wouldn't you think they would want to do everything they can to get customers to actually be able to come back and buy more? Make no sense.

I think his motivation to want to try heroin at that point was desperation. He had been experimenting with psychedelics and using cannabis in an effort to manage his mental health issues. He had actually grown 3 full marijuana plants from seed and was very proud of them - as we were of him for doing it - quite the project. He had aspirations of potentially being a bud tender.

And thank you for the well wishes. And your input. Much appreciated.

I absolutely agree.

I cannot fathom why they do not tell people what it is. I have no experience with ordering online however. Only thing I can think of is that maybe they expect people who are buying it to be tolerant to opioids or what not & therefore think they have less of a chance to kill them with it. It's no excuse at all though, as this shows what they're doing is taking lives.

Even if it had been labeled "heroin", there's still always that chance that there's fentanyl or another analogue in it. That's very unfortunate he did not use those tester strips.
Injecting probably did not help either, as it's more likely to cause an OD than say snorting it (although both can cause an OD with fentanyl).

The fact that he said he didn't have that great of an experience and did not mention itchiing (which is less prevelant with fentanyl & is an integral part of a heroin experience), it kinda sounded my alarm buttons.


I can understand his quest for help with mental health. I've been through so many meds for my own depression and it wasn't until I found opioids that I finally found something that worked.
I wish we lived in a society where he could have gone somewhere with his curiosity and been able to try it safely & with a pure product and some oversight rather than from the assholes who sold it to him.

Hang in there. And thanks for the update. Although it's not the one I wanted to hear.

 

[TheUltimateFixx]

I absolutely agree.

I cannot fathom why they do not tell people what it is. I have no experience with ordering online however. Only thing I can think of is that maybe they expect people who are buying it to be tolerant to opioids or what not & therefore think they have less of a chance to kill them with it. It's no excuse at all though, as this shows what they're doing is taking lives.

The thing is street level dealers don't really know themselves what they're selling. The stuff goes through many hands and gets cut more each time. By the time it gets to your local dealer, even if he's honest about his product (as in, doesn't himself cut with dangerous additives) he can only tell you what he THINKS is in it. As he's had to take the word of the guy higher up the chain at face value , and that one from the guy above HIM, and so on and so forth.

Add to that a lot of dealers simply don't give a fuck if their customers die, because the demand is always there and they know they get 5 new ones for every overdose victim.

 

[Dextro .45]

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100% pure API powder
Compounding powders
CII controlled substances

Cocaine hcl
Methylphenidate hcl
Amphetamine sulphate (racemate)
D-Amphetamine sulphate
Oxycodone hcl
Hydromorphone hcl
Methadone hcl

All pure powder for compounding or manufacturing tablets (some smalller generic company will purchase 100kg of Methylphenidate hcl and press their own tablets and bring to market, FDA approved.

I would literally do something unspeakable to have unlimited access to the most restricted storage safe area in the factory plant and have several trusted individuals with massive duffle bags loading up several full size U-Haul vans with the purest Pharmacuitical controlled substances on this planet lol……this is my most erotic wet dream btw lol

Google their website and just browse around…..they have Cocaine Hydrochloride powder listed for sale lol, Hydromorphone, Oxycodone, dextro-amphetamine, etc ….the sexiest, most highly desirable substances on earth

They MUST have the most serious professional security measures in place…..when you have 20 pallets full of 100kg drums full of Pharma grade Methadone Hydrochloride

A custom 50mil mansion with zero mortgage
100 million in liquid cash
All the toys (mostly super sports cars and hi-end precision firearms, all USGI Mil-Spec)
Breathtakingly beautiful wife with 2 or 3 kids….lots of animals & pets
A top of the line, fireproof, hidden secret bunker in basement of mega mansion next to indoor pool & indoor 25/50/100 yard shooting range, with bank vault style door - inside next to 100,000 + rounds of premium ammunition, water, food, medical supplies, generator, liquid cash, etc…..would be pallet after pallet of pharmaceutical grade CII controlled substances of every single class & potency strength/concentration. Pressed branded tablets but majority would be API powder suitable for IM/IV/SC administration

That is my dream life to be perfectly honest