I think I need advice. I'm a teacher, started my opiate abuse about 10yrs ago when my mom would share her prescription with me. I've suffered from depression and anxiety most of my life and opiates seem to be the only thing that made me feel happy. Since my addiction started my mother has died and I'm incredibly lonely and the only thing that keeps me going is my next high. I know I need to stop but I don't feel like I have the strength to, and I feel like it's the only joy I have in my life anyway. I'm broke and work 2 jobs to afford the pills. Would I be a good canidate for subuxone? I'm worried about having anything on my perm. record. Right now I can't afford a pill for a few days and feel beyond lost and my anxiety is killing me. I've never posted before and no one in my life knows I have this addiction so I can't talk to them. I know I need help, I just don't know what to do. I seem to associate a lot of stuff with going to get high. Like just driving my car makes me think I want to be driving to get some. Has anyone else experienced this? Any tips to fight thru it?
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help
- Thread starter lost2086
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- Jul 26, 2009
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you need to get realistic and realize that in no way is using opiates to medicate your anxiety/grief going to work. It simply is not sustainable - already you are struggling to keep up with the pills, and it's only going to get worse. My advice would be to get a .001 scale, a notebook and start noting all your doses, then start tapering. I just tapered out of 120mg of oxycodone due to surgery - I am also prone to anxiety/depression. It is doable - but you have to be square with the fact that you are going to be dealing w/emotions etc on their own without a helper from here on out (you will not be high as you taper)... However, if the pain of life is just too much, I guess suboxone or methadone are options, but please be aware - if you go on long term long lasting opioids, you most likely WILL NEVER GET OFF THEM. The withdrawals are much worse and last much longer. So, if you want off, I'd do option a. If not, I guess suboxone would be my choice for most normal life.
Opioid replacement therapy can help people control opioid use while developing new ways to cope and manage emotions, but ultimately developing new ways to cope with things like sadness and finding new things that bring joy into our life is how we manage a substance use disorder. People abuse drugs not only to avoid feeling negative emotions, but also as a means to experiencing positive emotions as well. I know I became very isolated when I was using drugs. Reaching out to others helps me not only address things like anger and sadness, but also is a way to experience happiness through conversation and laughter. I've been playing music for 15 years as well, it's not only a way that I can express negative emotions, I also get a lot of joy and sense of accomplishment from playing.
In terms of opioid replacement therapy, like suboxone or methadone, I think a major factor would be your extent of use. How much are you using at one time, and how much are you using in a day? How many days can you go without use? Do you go into physical withdrawal when you don't use? Are you engaging in risky or damaging behavior in order to get drugs?
If you aren't going into debilitating physical withdrawal symptoms and aren't engaging in risky or damaging behavior to get opioids, I think you'd be better off without them. ORT is mainly intended to reduce the damage associated with opioid use and serve as a stepping stone while the individual gets their life in control. If you can manage the withdrawal symptoms and the most damaging part of opioid use is the actual results of using opioids, I would think it'd be better to go without. Some people experience severe dopesickness that prevents them from functioning in society, doing things like going to work or being able to keep food in. The withdrawal symptoms and severe cravings also drive some people to do some extreme things in order to get drugs, things like pawning all your stuff to the point of homelessness or even trading sex for drugs or money to get drugs. ORT can help people resolve some of the chaos that is addiction by reducing or removing withdrawal symptoms and cravings. If cravings and withdrawal isn't preventing you from dealing with your problems and you are just struggling to deal with difficult emotions, I don't think ORT is for you.
It wouldn't hurt to talk to a substance use counselor or even calling up a local methadone clinic.
As far as dealing with the urge to use... making a list of both the positive and negative things that result from drug use can help you visualize and understand your behavior. Positive things might be something like feeling warm, happy and upbeat. Negative things might be having no money left as a result and feeling even worse after the drugs wear off. Many of the negative things will be resolved by quitting, the hard part is finding healthy ways of replacing the positive things. Things like exercise can help stimulate endorphins, which are natural chemicals in the body that resemble morphine. Going to recovery meetings, picking up new hobbies, and other social activities can be a good way to build self-esteem, laugh, and fight some of the feelings of loneliness.
In the beginning, it really does help to take things one day at a time. A bad day doesn't mean a bad life, tomorrow can always be better. Focus on things you can do to improve your day each day. Abstinence is just the beginning of recovery.
In terms of opioid replacement therapy, like suboxone or methadone, I think a major factor would be your extent of use. How much are you using at one time, and how much are you using in a day? How many days can you go without use? Do you go into physical withdrawal when you don't use? Are you engaging in risky or damaging behavior in order to get drugs?
If you aren't going into debilitating physical withdrawal symptoms and aren't engaging in risky or damaging behavior to get opioids, I think you'd be better off without them. ORT is mainly intended to reduce the damage associated with opioid use and serve as a stepping stone while the individual gets their life in control. If you can manage the withdrawal symptoms and the most damaging part of opioid use is the actual results of using opioids, I would think it'd be better to go without. Some people experience severe dopesickness that prevents them from functioning in society, doing things like going to work or being able to keep food in. The withdrawal symptoms and severe cravings also drive some people to do some extreme things in order to get drugs, things like pawning all your stuff to the point of homelessness or even trading sex for drugs or money to get drugs. ORT can help people resolve some of the chaos that is addiction by reducing or removing withdrawal symptoms and cravings. If cravings and withdrawal isn't preventing you from dealing with your problems and you are just struggling to deal with difficult emotions, I don't think ORT is for you.
It wouldn't hurt to talk to a substance use counselor or even calling up a local methadone clinic.
As far as dealing with the urge to use... making a list of both the positive and negative things that result from drug use can help you visualize and understand your behavior. Positive things might be something like feeling warm, happy and upbeat. Negative things might be having no money left as a result and feeling even worse after the drugs wear off. Many of the negative things will be resolved by quitting, the hard part is finding healthy ways of replacing the positive things. Things like exercise can help stimulate endorphins, which are natural chemicals in the body that resemble morphine. Going to recovery meetings, picking up new hobbies, and other social activities can be a good way to build self-esteem, laugh, and fight some of the feelings of loneliness.
In the beginning, it really does help to take things one day at a time. A bad day doesn't mean a bad life, tomorrow can always be better. Focus on things you can do to improve your day each day. Abstinence is just the beginning of recovery.