The most important thing to remember about Dom/sub relationships is COMMUNICATION. Since you're both new to it, I would suggest you guys each write three lists: What you like, what you want to try, what is off limits. So kinda like, "GREEN: spanking, biting, swallowing, flogging; YELLOW: bondage, anal, pegging, choking; RED: sounding, double penetration, knife play, figging" something like that. Compare lists, see what matches up, discuss it, then go for it. You don't even have to include any kinky things into a Dom/sub relationship unless you want to try it.
Something that is so, so important is coming up with a safe word, as well as a safe 'sign' you guys could use if one of you is bound and gagged. The safe sign could be anything from three taps on the shoulder to flailing your legs/arms. Just make sure that you have a way of knowing when to stop if your partner can not use the safe word. I've had an accident where I ended up passing out and seizing from being choked because there was no communication. It's extremely important.
You should keep in mind that in a Dom/sub relationship, the sub is really the one who's making the calls. A sub basically determines what you, as a dom, can and can not do. A proper dom never forces their sub to do anything they don't want to do. If you ignore the safe word and keep going, that is rape. If you pressure your sub into doing something that is painful or that makes them uncomfortable, that is abuse. BDSM and Dom/sub relationships are not exempt from the concept of consent. If you decide to bring the relationship outside of the bedroom and into your personal life, the same rules apply. If your partner wants to be completely independent outside of the bedroom, you can not try to force her to obey you.
A proper dom also provides after care for their sub. This could be anything from cuddles to massages to rubbing aloe on her ass after you've flogged her. Ask her how she feels after an intense scene. If she starts crying during or after sex, stop and ask if there's anything you can do for her. There is a thing called 'sub space' and it's kind of like dissociation. A lot of subs, including myself, get into a specific head space during intense scenes where we kind of go out of our bodies. The post-sex sub space is different for every sub, but I usually end up shutting down a little and I get real quiet and shaky and unresponsive. It's not a negative thing, I don't feel sad or hurt or abused, it's just something that can come with the adrenaline rush. This is where after care comes in, and it can make or break how your sub views doing scenes with you. If you tie someone up, spit on them, beat them, and them pound them into oblivion, but don't let them know afterwards that you still love, appreciate, and respect them, it could do some damage psychologically. It could register as abuse. Now, if your partner consents to being fucked and then just left there, that's okay. Just ask them again afterwards if they really want you to leave. Or, if you leave, check in after half an hour or so.
Dom/sub is really just about taking care of your partner and their needs. No relationship is the same because everyone has different needs, wants, and boundaries. Communicate and figure out what you guys want for YOUR relationship. Always make sure the other party consents.
