Help with heroin detox

[jordeezz]

Hey bluelight, longtime lurker here finally decided to make a post asking for help, so i can finally rid myself of this heroin addiction once and for all.
I have been using IV black tar heroin on and off (mostly on) for the past 9+ years (im 25.) Im fed up now and want off for good. I have some suboxone and weed to help me through the worst of it (ive used suboxone in the past several times to get clean) but each time I try to quit the anxiety becomes overwhelming. Absolutely crippling fear. My nose clogs up and i panic. This is after about 12 hours without a dose. And I need to try and make it long enough to take the sub. Which im failing at.
I dont know if anyone else gets crippling anxiety but it would be a great help if I could get any advice or if theres anything more I can do it'd be greatly appreciated. Sorry I know this post is very poorly worded, its late and i havent slept.

 

[Jabberwocky]

you have to be careful otherwise you risk cross addicting, but do you have access to benzos to relieve the anxiety while you're waiting to be able to induct on subs?

are you in contact with any drugs services? i don't know where you are so this may not apply but i have a friend who simply couldn't make the wait to induct, so they offered her a place to go just for that period while she was waiting to induct.

 

[Bailey66]

Hey bluelight, longtime lurker here finally decided to make a post asking for help, so i can finally rid myself of this heroin addiction once and for all.
I have been using IV black tar heroin on and off (mostly on) for the past 9+ years (im 25.) Im fed up now and want off for good. I have some suboxone and weed to help me through the worst of it (ive used suboxone in the past several times to get clean) but each time I try to quit the anxiety becomes overwhelming. Absolutely crippling fear. My nose clogs up and i panic. This is after about 12 hours without a dose. And I need to try and make it long enough to take the sub. Which im failing at.
I dont know if anyone else gets crippling anxiety but it would be a great help if I could get any advice or if theres anything more I can do it'd be greatly appreciated. Sorry I know this post is very poorly worded, its late and i havent slept.

I understand completely. Subs do help but that anxiety is a fucking killer man. Wish I had some great advice for you but just know that you are not alone. You are not alone no matter what.

 

[jordeezz]

Thanks for the replies, it really means a great deal to me as I have nobody left to talk to, family and friends have all left (save my girlfriend who is in the process of leaving.)
I live in Southern California. A few hours north of LA. Ive been trying to dose down but ive been having such trouble with IV (my veins are tiny and gone) that I am failing hard.
Im not too worried of developing a benzo addiction or any other addiction. I was hoping to get my hands on some gabapentin to help but I have no idea where to find it. I basically can only find xanax. I just need to get over the anxiety! It makes me feel like i cant breathe; my throat swells (at least feels like it) and my nose gets clogged forcing me to mouth breathe (which i hate.)
Again if anyone could help in any way, even just the encouragement it all helps.

 

[gramfin]

I dont know if you have tried some breathing exercises or meditating? i found that helps my anxiety, i think all addicts suffer from anxiety and a lot of our using is self-medicating, but you are not alone.

 

[jordeezz]

I dont know if you have tried some breathing exercises or meditating? i found that helps my anxiety, i think all addicts suffer from anxiety and a lot of our using is self-medicating, but you are not alone.

Its way past the point of breathing excercises. Im losing sleep out of fear of not waking up due to my addiction/unhealthiness (sleep apnea is extremely bad in large part due to heroin and im only 25.)
Woke up just now at 4am balling my eyes out. Scared shitless. Dont know why im like this now but all i know is i want off the junk for good. Going to see if i can find some xanax and maybe anything else thatll help today. If anyone knows of any detox/rehabs in the california area, especially Ventura/SBarbara County (sorry if asking this isnt allowed im not sure of all the rules) itd be great to know of them. Love you all for the help it means the world.

 

[Jabberwocky]

afraid i don't know of any california rehabs but i lived in santa barbara for a year when i was 6. despite some very sexually inappropriate things happening to me while i was there, whenever i see a mention of that place i smile. fucking paradise on earth!

a detox facility does sound like a great idea in your position, and if you can back that up with rehab after you will have a much better chance of getting into recovery proper.

 

[Shady's Fox]

I suggest taking ibogaine unlike traditional method i.e > suboxone/methadone, you will go without any withdrawal.

 

[nznity]

I suggest taking ibogaine unlike traditional method i.e > suboxone/methadone, you will go without any withdrawal.

I agree with you man, Suboxone and methadone is using still. Maybe you don't have to worry about wds and shit but you're still chained to those substances.

 

[Bailey66]

Thanks for the replies, it really means a great deal to me as I have nobody left to talk to, family and friends have all left (save my girlfriend who is in the process of leaving.)
I live in Southern California. A few hours north of LA. Ive been trying to dose down but ive been having such trouble with IV (my veins are tiny and gone) that I am failing hard.
Im not too worried of developing a benzo addiction or any other addiction. I was hoping to get my hands on some gabapentin to help but I have no idea where to find it. I basically can only find xanax. I just need to get over the anxiety! It makes me feel like i cant breathe; my throat swells (at least feels like it) and my nose gets clogged forcing me to mouth breathe (which i hate.)
Again if anyone could help in any way, even just the encouragement it all helps.

Please just know that you are not alone in this fight...I am just 3 weeks off H today and every day - make that every minute - feels sometimes like a year. My heart pounds, my legs so restless I feel like I could fly away, I sweat and just wait for the moment to pass really just wishing death would just hurry up and come already. Not that I really want to die, it's just that living has become so intensely painful and my means of escape is no longer there waiting for me with open arms like before. It feels as if my best friend has died and left me here defenseless and all alone.

 

[gulfcoastwarmbuzz]

Man I feel your pain brother, I too am very much ready to kick the smack, IV powder smack user. Been using again since late march or maybe early april, when this covid19 pandemic became big in America, I had been clean for 10 months before that, 4 of those months I had been in a county jail rehab correctional facility, jail is a perfect place to successfully detox to completion, the problem is that it is very psychologically painful and thus you won't forget it, and for some reason i associate detox with jail now and so I feel a bit more terrified of it. But I just gotta be grateful to be out here in the freeworld for this detox, I figure an addict either chooses when and where to detox right now, or they just keep going until the drug chooses, once you have no more money, no family or friends that will support you, no nothing, might even be in jail again or worse...my big problem is that I have a good supply of suboxone, but I have had issues in the past of precipitated withdrawals from suboxone, basically every time someone else fed me the suboxone at a medical detox facility, it had made me go into even worse detox, perhaps is made it happen quicker, but it leaves me very very restless and high heart rate, seems like it lasted days, maybe up to almost a week of withdrawal after starting subs, then at that point it begins to work and bring relief, I've had subs also bring me instant relief, when I self administered something like 3 or 4 days after stopping IV smack, so there must be some sort of window, not just the COWS scale or whatever they call it. I'm not sure if they gave me enough suboxone, or if I had waited long enough, before taking the first dose of suboxone. I know one thing brother, we will get through it no matter how terrible, and you WONT die from opiate detox, you could get dehydrated and that could be dangerous, but just keep a red gatorade or powerade and take sips regularly, if you puke its ok, just keep taking sips every few minutes. Also, the hot shower is your one safe place, all relief of body aches and chills, sweats, and pretty much all of it, the hot shower will get you through it. Im not a pro on suboxone and when and how much to take, if anyone here had any pointers on techniques to get the first couple doses of subs down with very minimal physical withdrawal, please share, I'd very much love to hear advice, anything no matter how simple, im really afraid of this detox, dont want to get so sick I miss work!!!