FuckThePolice
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Mar 31, 2007
- Messages
- 59
Hi folks,
Hoping someone here can help me along with some advice, as tbh i'm seriously struggling to cope moving on. At the end of last year I was released from jail after serving 16months for something I did NOT do. She had stood by me and even came on the long(2-3hr) train journey to visit me every week for nearly 9-10 months!!! After that she lost the plot, got evicted and moved away. Couple of weeks before my release she apologised stating that I was right and that she couldn't come to terms with me being locked up for so long and that she wanted to work things out yada yada, I could move up there or vice versa. She then changed her mind and refused to even see me until as she put it "till im no longer feeling like this" or something along them lines. Stupid me tried to make her jealous incidently (or not) that backfired and she started a relationship with someone else after just a week or two of my stupid jealous attempt and became pregnant within the month!!! (Although my mates think that pregnancy may have fallen through, noone knows as she's gone weird) Worst thing is myself and everyone that knows her is extremely worried as the person she started a relationship with was released from a mental ward/jail this year where he has been kept since 1998.
We weren't together the longest amount of time but were hardly ever apart when we were together. She was the love of my life, I never thought i'd feel that way about someone. My mother unexpectedly died 7months into my sentence and thinking about the love i felt for her managed to keep me feeling positively!! I can actually remember the moment when I realised id feel in love with her deeper than I could ever of imagined. To top that off she is the most gorgeous woman i've ever had the pleasure to know
While in prison obvisually I could not emotionally move on in the slightest. Felt amazing on my release although all my mates could tell I was never trully over her I was coping well. My problem is have a bad habbit of falling for women too easily so have decided NOT to start looking for any relationship or having any casual sex locally till my life is sorted, starting from when I get my driving licence/job back (Sadly still waiting on the nasty dvla!!) Was my birthday last week, by now i was rarely thinking about her, still probably every day but it was the stage where i'd think about her and realise i hadn't thought about her for a long time and that was that. So i thought i'd try and pull away in blackpool on holiday for my birthday, god i'd so forgotten how much i've missed sex. The next day i was ok. Not feeling so bad right now comparatively to rest of the week but it brought all my painful emoticons away up to the surface, +++ more, constantly fighting the urge to cry but its not a fight i can win. It's that bad i keep getting suicidal thoughts although they don't come with the intention to carry them out, their still their. Having sex is NOT worth this, I really don't know whatta do. Would being a slag outta town for a week or two help me move on much, i think not but am outta ideas. I think my problem is i've never seen her since so have not been able to have any sorta closure.
She messaged me on facebook months ago that she wanted to remain friends etc but it hurt toooooooo much to reply so I couldn't, I actually did the other month but she blocked me for asking her the question, everyone I know that knows her, is talking about
I wish i'd just gone up too try and find her to talk to her when it wouldn't of been at the "creep" stage, can't do that now needless to say lol..
Hoping someone here can help me along with some advice, as tbh i'm seriously struggling to cope moving on. At the end of last year I was released from jail after serving 16months for something I did NOT do. She had stood by me and even came on the long(2-3hr) train journey to visit me every week for nearly 9-10 months!!! After that she lost the plot, got evicted and moved away. Couple of weeks before my release she apologised stating that I was right and that she couldn't come to terms with me being locked up for so long and that she wanted to work things out yada yada, I could move up there or vice versa. She then changed her mind and refused to even see me until as she put it "till im no longer feeling like this" or something along them lines. Stupid me tried to make her jealous incidently (or not) that backfired and she started a relationship with someone else after just a week or two of my stupid jealous attempt and became pregnant within the month!!! (Although my mates think that pregnancy may have fallen through, noone knows as she's gone weird) Worst thing is myself and everyone that knows her is extremely worried as the person she started a relationship with was released from a mental ward/jail this year where he has been kept since 1998.
We weren't together the longest amount of time but were hardly ever apart when we were together. She was the love of my life, I never thought i'd feel that way about someone. My mother unexpectedly died 7months into my sentence and thinking about the love i felt for her managed to keep me feeling positively!! I can actually remember the moment when I realised id feel in love with her deeper than I could ever of imagined. To top that off she is the most gorgeous woman i've ever had the pleasure to know
While in prison obvisually I could not emotionally move on in the slightest. Felt amazing on my release although all my mates could tell I was never trully over her I was coping well. My problem is have a bad habbit of falling for women too easily so have decided NOT to start looking for any relationship or having any casual sex locally till my life is sorted, starting from when I get my driving licence/job back (Sadly still waiting on the nasty dvla!!) Was my birthday last week, by now i was rarely thinking about her, still probably every day but it was the stage where i'd think about her and realise i hadn't thought about her for a long time and that was that. So i thought i'd try and pull away in blackpool on holiday for my birthday, god i'd so forgotten how much i've missed sex. The next day i was ok. Not feeling so bad right now comparatively to rest of the week but it brought all my painful emoticons away up to the surface, +++ more, constantly fighting the urge to cry but its not a fight i can win. It's that bad i keep getting suicidal thoughts although they don't come with the intention to carry them out, their still their. Having sex is NOT worth this, I really don't know whatta do. Would being a slag outta town for a week or two help me move on much, i think not but am outta ideas. I think my problem is i've never seen her since so have not been able to have any sorta closure.
She messaged me on facebook months ago that she wanted to remain friends etc but it hurt toooooooo much to reply so I couldn't, I actually did the other month but she blocked me for asking her the question, everyone I know that knows her, is talking about
I wish i'd just gone up too try and find her to talk to her when it wouldn't of been at the "creep" stage, can't do that now needless to say lol..