So long story short, I had what I think was a panic attack off a combination of MDMA, Nitrous and what I believe was MXE or something other than Ket (we did buy it with the intention of it being ket, If I knew it was MXE or something else I wouldn't have taken it, I'm aware MD+MXE is a dangerous combo, but I guess thats price to pay for mixing shit). I had 150mg of MDMA throughout the course of the night with some nitrous thrown in here and there. Then a couple of bumps of MXE? later on. After the third bump, I started panicing, thinking I was dying. My friend managed to calm me down after about 20 minutes with the aid of a cold damp towel haha.
Anyway, I was fine till a week after, minus a bit of a comedown and a general lingering headache for a few days. Exactly a week later, something clicked and I just felt dissociated and weird and dizzy. Since then I've just felt fucked up, but am feeling slight improvements from when it first occured albeit minor and very slow.
What im currently experiencing;
- Anxiety at varying levels throughout the day but always enough that its consitantly on my mind
- Minor floaters, don't annoy me
- Minor visual snow, barely noticeable unless I look for it
- Minor afterimages, only noticable from bright lights and certain colour texts on certain colour backgrounds. Mild annoyance but not enough to make me feel off
- Derealisation/Depersonalisation. This gets to me, neither myself or anything feels real, feel out of place, have trouble with connecting to anything
- A sense of dizzyness + Fucked up depth perception + The sense that things aren't stationary - This is what bothers me the most, I just feel like everything is slighty moving, expanding and contracting. When I'm taking a shit, it's as if the floor is ever so slighty moving up towards me and the tiles are moving about but it's not extreme, just really annoying.
- Depression
- Vivid dreams
- Brain fog
I don't see patterns on walls or have any problems with colours or faces like other people mention. I just feel a bit dizzy when nothing wants to stay perfectly still. So is anxiety causing this? PTSD? HPPD? Is depersonilisation causing this?
I should mention it was so bad in the first month I'd get extreme headaches, tunnel vision, could barely hold a conversation, felt generally retarded and that's died down except now I seem to have traded that for extreme anxiety instead. I was fine going to uni until a couple of weeks ago I felt like I was feeling what I felt like when I had the panic attack, and it came on randomally about 40 minutes into a lecture. Since then, every time I go into a lecture I instantly feel panicy and fucked up, so I've barely been in.
It's been 2 months now since I took the combo and I haven't took any drugs since including caffeine. The only thing I have left to come off is nicotine which I plan to do.
Im exercising most days with a combination of weight lifting and running, eating a healthy diet and supplementing with B complex, 1000mg vit c, magnesium, L-theanine and taurine.
any advice? anyone experienced anything similar and recovered? If this is HPPD, what is my chances of recovery seeing as I've made some progress, or is it normal for someone with HPPD to experience worse symptoms in the beginning?
Any help would be appreciated.
Cheers
Anyway, I was fine till a week after, minus a bit of a comedown and a general lingering headache for a few days. Exactly a week later, something clicked and I just felt dissociated and weird and dizzy. Since then I've just felt fucked up, but am feeling slight improvements from when it first occured albeit minor and very slow.
What im currently experiencing;
- Anxiety at varying levels throughout the day but always enough that its consitantly on my mind
- Minor floaters, don't annoy me
- Minor visual snow, barely noticeable unless I look for it
- Minor afterimages, only noticable from bright lights and certain colour texts on certain colour backgrounds. Mild annoyance but not enough to make me feel off
- Derealisation/Depersonalisation. This gets to me, neither myself or anything feels real, feel out of place, have trouble with connecting to anything
- A sense of dizzyness + Fucked up depth perception + The sense that things aren't stationary - This is what bothers me the most, I just feel like everything is slighty moving, expanding and contracting. When I'm taking a shit, it's as if the floor is ever so slighty moving up towards me and the tiles are moving about but it's not extreme, just really annoying.
- Depression
- Vivid dreams
- Brain fog
I don't see patterns on walls or have any problems with colours or faces like other people mention. I just feel a bit dizzy when nothing wants to stay perfectly still. So is anxiety causing this? PTSD? HPPD? Is depersonilisation causing this?
I should mention it was so bad in the first month I'd get extreme headaches, tunnel vision, could barely hold a conversation, felt generally retarded and that's died down except now I seem to have traded that for extreme anxiety instead. I was fine going to uni until a couple of weeks ago I felt like I was feeling what I felt like when I had the panic attack, and it came on randomally about 40 minutes into a lecture. Since then, every time I go into a lecture I instantly feel panicy and fucked up, so I've barely been in.
It's been 2 months now since I took the combo and I haven't took any drugs since including caffeine. The only thing I have left to come off is nicotine which I plan to do.
Im exercising most days with a combination of weight lifting and running, eating a healthy diet and supplementing with B complex, 1000mg vit c, magnesium, L-theanine and taurine.
any advice? anyone experienced anything similar and recovered? If this is HPPD, what is my chances of recovery seeing as I've made some progress, or is it normal for someone with HPPD to experience worse symptoms in the beginning?
Any help would be appreciated.
Cheers