Has anyone here been professionally treated for sex addiction? (NOT 12 step/abstinence)

[Keeloverandfly]

I say it is cowardly because you are going around your partners back in the relationship contract you have. You are avoiding dialog, and avoiding confronting aspects of your psychology. Maybe it’s the wrong word, but as someone who has cheated in the past, I feel much stronger having gone through the self-work to accept open relationships.

I think the biology argument is bullshit. As someone said above, you aren’t actually impregnating women. Also I know plenty of women who want sex with multiple partners, and plenty of men who don’t. There is a reason why men cheat more frequently than women in monogamous relationships. It is because in men have more opportunities to do so. In the majority of families, women are so burdened by housework and (when applicable) childcare that they simply haven’t the time nor energy to cheat. Men, often the breadwinners, find themselves away from home for work and shouldering less of the house work, so it is simply easier for them to cheat and they have the energy to do so.

 

[Atomic_Decay]

I say it is cowardly because you are going around your partners back in the relationship contract you have. You are avoiding dialog, and avoiding confronting aspects of your psychology. Maybe it’s the wrong word, but as someone who has cheated in the past, I feel much stronger having gone through the self-work to accept open relationships.

I think the biology argument is bullshit. As someone said above, you aren’t actually impregnating women. Also I know plenty of women who want sex with multiple partners, and plenty of men who don’t. There is a reason why men cheat more frequently than women in monogamous relationships. It is because in men have more opportunities to do so. In the majority of families, women are so burdened by housework and (when applicable) childcare that they simply haven’t the time nor energy to cheat. Men, often the breadwinners, find themselves away from home for work and shouldering less of the house work, so it is simply easier for them to cheat and they have the energy to do so.

I agree. To be human is to be able to reflect on our biological urges and control them in order to live well with others in a civilised society where the overall total good outweighs anything that individuals might gain in isolation. The story of humanity - at least in the Western tradition - is one in which a person develops the capacity to understand and control their base urges.

If one can justify cheating on the basis of a biological drive (call it lust) then one can justify violence (anger) or theft (greed) - these are all similarly base drives that a mature person recognises in themselves and channels into something more productive for themselves and those around them.

When I have been in a committed relationship I have had to sometimes work hard to not cheat when an opportunity presented itself. But the satisfaction of feeling my own moral fortitude win in the end is more satisfying than the fleeting pleasure of a sly fuck.

 

[yubacity]

I agree. To be human is to be able to reflect on our biological urges and control them in order to live well with others in a civilised society where the overall total good outweighs anything that individuals might gain in isolation. The story of humanity - at least in the Western tradition - is one in which a person develops the capacity to understand and control their base urges.

If one can justify cheating on the basis of a biological drive (call it lust) then one can justify violence (anger) or theft (greed) - these are all similarly base drives that a mature person recognises in themselves and channels into something more productive for themselves and those around them.

When I have been in a committed relationship I have had to sometimes work hard to not cheat when an opportunity presented itself. But the satisfaction of feeling my own moral fortitude win in the end is more satisfying than the fleeting pleasure of a sly fuck.

Im not justifying cheating on just the biological urge only just saying it is there . In any addiction, there is mostly more in it then just wanting to get smashed or have sex with other women .

Even though i was born in the west to Punjabi parents and married to a white girl I love rock music you do still look at things in a differant way i call it the immigrant mentality. I was once cutting class with my pal and my dad brought home another woman and went in his room. My friend who was white american was like you angry your dad cheating on your mom. I was like fuck no, to tell the truth, I just wanted to see what she look like . When they left looked out window she was good looking i was quite proud . I had it drummed into me go boxing take no shit a man works hard provides for his family men cheating was accepted it what men did the other way round as much as what im say sounds fucked up i telling truth i would never talk to my mom again.

In my head, i carried that so it was like my wife the woman I love cheating just a drug-fuelled fuck. I love drug-fueled fucks the buzz of hooking up with a woman doing things my wife would never do. I thought as long as I provided my wife and kids with home and financial security i did my job. It was only when I got caught with wifes closet mate in UK i saw the hurt and betrayal. But even then I did not have the morals to stop I just swapped to escorts no come back that's when heroin came to my rescue and for 13 years straight i was on it i never cheated it's now between being addicted this monster has come back but I try to control it and i do resist urges but it doesn't make me feel good.

Me and my wife are tight i gave up my family for her and she did the same when my crank addiction got to much she moved to UK to get away from it . We have so many memories and a love that no one can match . If she left me no one could ever take her place but i still put it on the line for what you called a sly fuck .

 

[Atomic_Decay]

Im not justifying cheating on just the biological urge only just saying it is there . In any addiction, there is mostly more in it then just wanting to get smashed or have sex with other women .

Even though i was born in the west to Punjabi parents and married to a white girl I love rock music you do still look at things in a differant way i call it the immigrant mentality. I was once cutting class with my pal and my dad brought home another woman and went in his room. My friend who was white american was like you angry your dad cheating on your mom. I was like fuck no, to tell the truth, I just wanted to see what she look like . When they left looked out window she was good looking i was quite proud . I had it drummed into me go boxing take no shit a man works hard provides for his family men cheating was accepted it what men did the other way round as much as what im say sounds fucked up i telling truth i would never talk to my mom again.

In my head, i carried that so it was like my wife the woman I love cheating just a drug-fuelled fuck. I love drug-fueled fucks the buzz of hooking up with a woman doing things my wife would never do. I thought as long as I provided my wife and kids with home and financial security i did my job. It was only when I got caught with wifes closet mate in UK i saw the hurt and betrayal. But even then I did not have the morals to stop I just swapped to escorts no come back that's when heroin came to my rescue and for 13 years straight i was on it i never cheated it's now between being addicted this monster has come back but I try to control it and i do resist urges but it doesn't make me feel good.

Me and my wife are tight i gave up my family for her and she did the same when my crank addiction got to much she moved to UK to get away from it . We have so many memories and a love that no one can match . If she left me no one could ever take her place but i still put it on the line for what you called a sly fuck .

Thanks for sharing this.

 

[yubacity]

Thanks for sharing this.

This is the only place I can really open up another bit of immigrant mentality you keep your problems and hurt to yourself but it eats away before you know it the drugs cant cover it either

 

[Atomic_Decay]

This is the only place I can really open up another bit of immigrant mentality you keep your problems and hurt to yourself but it eats away before you know it the drugs cant cover it either

I know what you mean. Apart from my local brothel BL is the only other place I can really be my unfiltered authentic self. Both have been a lifesaver in the last few years.

 

[yubacity]

I know what you mean. Apart from my local brothel BL is the only other place I can really be my unfiltered authentic self. Both have been a lifesaver in the last few years.

I can only open up to escorts face to face no one else developed a friendship with one escort . Since my eldest daughter started growing into a woman i cant have sex with escorts I talk to them share my drugs and talk. Always treated escorts with respect shared my drugs food drink anything but just loved the drug-fueled sex it is my sex thing . But the best sex is with my wife it is totally different it full of love and she a good looking woman for me she is still the girl i loved since 15 like wine she looks better with age

This place has saved my life for real at the lowest points of my wds from heroin or pregabalin people here have got me through it

 

[Atomic_Decay]

I can only open up to escorts face to face no one else developed a friendship with one escort . Since my eldest daughter started growing into a woman i cant have sex with escorts I talk to them share my drugs and talk. Always treated escorts with respect shared my drugs food drink anything but just loved the drug-fueled sex it is my sex thing . But the best sex is with my wife it is totally different it full of love and she a good looking woman for me she is still the girl i loved since 15 like wine she looks better with age

This place has saved my life for real at the lowest points of my wds from heroin or pregabalin people here have got me through it

When I initially befriend a new sex worker it is usually in the context of smoking meth together and having a mutually satisfactory fuckfest but this pretty quicky expands into a lot just hanging out and talking, cuddling, and surprisingly and recently quite a lot of dancing after I started offering everybody however much acid they cared to take.

What then often happens though is I get a huge case of ‘the feels’ for one of these ladies, interpret it as falling in love, and until that delusion goes away I absolutely cannot have sex with that particular woman again.

I think, in my very warped sexual psychology, that I see my paying for the time of my new beloved but declining to fuck her as a way to demonstrate the truth of my feelings for her and that I value her for many things of which sex may be the least important.

However this has happened so many times that within the fairly tightly knit network of Asian sex workers I am connected to nobody treats my purported feelings very seriously and they mostly humour me in a kind and gracious way until I snap out of it.

 

[yubacity]

When I initially befriend a new sex worker it is usually in the context of smoking meth together and having a mutually satisfactory fuckfest but this pretty quicky expands into a lot just hanging out and talking, cuddling, and surprisingly and recently quite a lot of dancing after I started offering everybody however much acid they cared to take.

What then often happens though is I get a huge case of ‘the feels’ for one of these ladies, interpret it as falling in love, and until that delusion goes away I absolutely cannot have sex with that particular woman again.

I think, in my very warped sexual psychology, that I see my paying for the time of my new beloved but declining to fuck her as a way to demonstrate the truth of my feelings for her and that I value her for many things of which sex may be the least important.

However this has happened so many times that within the fairly tightly knit network of Asian sex workers I am connected to nobody treats my purported feelings very seriously and they mostly humour me in a kind and gracious way until I snap out of it.

Its normal to develop feelings for the escorts we befriend no one can take my wifes place but you cant helpthem. I used to always ask for a British escort so i know they are not sex trafficked . I go to a good agency or a brothel and some of the girls are gorgeous but i have just developed a mental block its like im old enough to be their dad im 46 .I just cant do it they someones daughter

 

[Atomic_Decay]

You know, if I were French, and born in a more appropriate century I would probably be much less anxious about this stuff…


Like this legend:

FEATURE: Toulouse-Lautrec: The Prostitute Authority — Empire Times

Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec was a legendary, aristocratic, alcoholic, syphilitic dwarf; renowned for his groundbreaking depiction of the decadently debauched tragedy of Paris’ turn-of-the-century bohemian nightlife. Born of a consanguineous marriage between his aristocratic, first cousin parents, Toul

www.empiretimesmagazine.com

He found the dissolute nature of the brothels appealing, along with the prosaic manner of the transactions and the naturalness of the prostitutes. It was from their tragic beauty that Toulouse-Lautrec found his most moving inspiration; “I have tried to do what is true and not ideal.”